A bit too late - Thermite Onshot (maybe a little shorter)

So uh… I went a little wild and wrote soemthing, i dont know if anyone will like it but um… yeah, here it is! I wanted to write something cute and fluffy but it turned out very sad and angsty, why do I do this to myself :’). Mind you, I never wrote anything remotely like this before, or at least wrote and published, but Im kinda confident about this (watch that confidence disappear as soon as I press the post button lol) but I read bunch of fics, and it all hepled a lot, I learned so much. So yeah here is Thermite fic I wrote out of no where, dont know if anyone will like it, highly doubt it lol. Its completely self indulgence out of pure love for my Texas boi, and I like to see my favorite characters suffer  ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄.Without futher ado, here’s sum angst. Enjoy!

———–

He was standing there, right in front of her. His gaze warm, loving, as he looks directly at her. The room they were in was well lit, as it was her work space and the medbay. He wanted to touch her, hold her, kiss her. She was his high school sweet heart, the love of life…well, he didnt realize the later until he met her again afterall these years. His mouth opened to say something, but closes soon after. She looks directly at him, her gaze is intense but tired, never wavering, judging every move he makes. There was one time her eyes held something completely different for him, it was very loving. Now, he cant see that, and he wasn’t going to blame her. After all, it was all his fault. “What is it that you want this time, Jordan?” Her voice is soft, tired, but determind. Rubbing hands together he began, “I know I’ve screwed things over, I uh….fucked up” , even he couldnt recognize his voice, it was laced with pain. “Seeing you everyday made me realize even more the things I should have realized long time ago, and I- I wanted to apologize…for everything”. He was genuinely feeling sorry for leaving her like he did. A sigh escaped his lips. His hands were on his hips now as he looked down, he was too ashamed to look her in the eyes. As she didnt respond to his apology, he began to think maybe this was a mistake, bringing back the past. Maybe he should’ve just let things as it was, but he couldnt, his heart ached whenever he saw her. “I waited, you know” his contemplation about leaving stopped, her soft voice stopped him. “I waited so long for you, you said you’d come back but you didnt”. His hands dropped to his sides, he still couldnt bring himself to look at her, but when he heard her speak, he felt her pain. He raised his head to look at her, only to see her saddened face. Oh how much he wanted to have her between his arms….he missed her so much. “The letters you’ve been sending me, stopped at some point. I thought you were dead” She was tearing as this point, “But I waited, day after day, maybe I’ll get one more letter from you, or maybe at least something to get me closure”. Her voice shook at the last part. He clenched his hands into fists, he was angry at himself now, for being the idiot he was. “You promised to comeback. You promised”. “And I did!” His said slightly louder than he planned it to be.

He calmed himself down as he ran his hand through his short hair, “and I did…I cameback and I went to look for you, but you werent there anymore”. “Took you long enough” , now her tone was slightly annoyed. “You could’ve done a lot of things, Jordan. But you chose not to. When I heard about your return, I wanted to visit you….only so I can have my fist up against your face, but I had better things to do”. Knowing well she was going through college at the time to become the doctor as she is known today, so she couldnt spare any sort of time for bullshit. He sighed again, he didnt have anything left to say except repeat the first sentence he uttered to her. “I’m sorry, I really am. I’d do anything to have your make amends, I just want to prove myself to you”. “Well thats unfortunate, you’re a bit too late” , her voice as soft as ever, he missed that. “ but I’m already engaged”. Seeing the confusion on bis face, she had to show him the proof. She pulled out her dogtag chain she was wearing from her shirt, to show him the ring in it. His heart broke, his hopes faded away, he couldnt think straight anymore. He looked at her and then the ring, then back to her face. His heart ached so much now, it was unbearable, he needed to get out of here. He was lost in his thoughts for few moment, nothing said, only silence. He realized that he wasnt worthy for her love, he had his chances but he fucked up by leaving her hanging, and she clearly moved on. He needed to let her go now. He wanted to see her happy no matter what. When he looked at her again, His gaze was softer than ever, he smiled at her warmly. “Then I hope you’re very happy” he closed the distance between them, he planted a soft kiss on her right cheek, “They are very lucky to have you”. With that he left the room. He couldnt look back, for few reasons, one being it was too painful to look at the love of his life choosing to spend her life with someone else, and the second is that he couldnt stop the streams of tears that was flowing down his face.

———

@fuzes-wife i tag u bby <~ shes the one who gave the ego and confidence boost that lead me to post this shite.

Rebloging again because I edited it and so everyone can read it without a problem.