✨ audacity ✨
I witnessed a man shit on a campus patrol car, he looked me in my eyes and I just turned and went back to the main building, when I was brought in for questioning I had to tell them that I didnt remember his face at all because my mind was blocking out the memory of seeing him shit on a car
blocking it out didn’t seem to work
how do I get my weenie out of a ceiling fan
Can someone help this guy out?
when i say “i can’t talk right now, i’m doing hot girl shit.” what i really mean is “i can’t talk right now, i’m doing my bio hw while listening to classical music and pretending i’m a female scientist in the 1700s learning in secret using books i stole from the academy when they refused to let me in, i’m hiding away in the attic of the opera house (where i work) while the orchestra rehearses beneath me. they’ll never accept me in the world of academia, but i know i’m destined for greatness.”
oh my god