concept: dean winchester doing one of those google autocomplete interviews

thinking again about "sometimes i wanna be slapped during sex by a girl wearing a zorro mask, but that don't make it a good idea!" like what does dean think would be the Consequences. of having sex in kind of a silly, strange manner. why is any of that a Bad Idea.

dean winchester voice Well if i ask a girl to do that then the ghost of my father will barge into the room and shake his head disapprovingly at what a sissy i've become

you ever think abt how like. dean probably thought all his little crushes on celebrity men and fictional characters were “safe” bc they were completely unattainable and then cas comes along and ok this crush feels a little less safe but it’s still ok bc cas is this big scary celestial being so he’s definitely still unattainable so dean feels safe to flirt with him esp since cas doesn’t seem to get it so it’s fine but then. then cas starts to fall and he starts becoming more human and suddenly this doesn’t feel safe anymore, suddenly dean’s heart beats too fast and his palms are always sweating and now cas is his best friend and cas says ridiculously earnest things to him and looks at him and it’s not safe anymore it’s not safe anymore it’s not safe anym–

i think sometimes dean calls crowley and he answers like ‘im in the middle of a very important meeting with very important demons about very important hell things what do you want squirrel’ and dean goes ‘wanna have sex’ and crowley drops everything immediately no hesitation no second thoughts just pops in the bunker in a cloud of red smoke, and i think it happens one too many times and dean points out he calls him more for sex than for supernatural stuff and jokingly renames him ‘booty call’ on his phone while snickering like an idiot and crowley fondly rolls his eyes. my point is that one day for some reason sam is going though dean’s phone, sees this contact called ‘booty call’, goes on a long rant about how thats very disrespectful and he could at least add a name and the poor girl doesn’t deserve to be reduced to that, and decides to call her in the name of feminism to let her know how horribly she’s being wronged. i think dean’s annoying big brother instinct to embarrass his little brother overrides every speck of internalized homophobia there was left in him and so he just watches silently trying not to laugh as sam stands there huffing and puffing waiting for someone to answer. and then sam hears ‘hey squirrel horny again are we’ and his expression makes dean laugh so hard he almost chokes to death

dean winchester would also do this

sorry about this post. ID under the cut

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a dean coming out scene would do such irreparable damage to me i would have to be put in an institution

in celebration of dean winchester, here’s a video about being in the closet for your whole life. 

( compulsive liar - ezra furman | youtube )

Dean Made Me Watch The Lost Boys like 20 Times... (14x16 Don’t Go in the Woods)

Dean, Dean Dean… 

The original “teen vampire movie”, the one that spawned them all - from Buffy the Vampire Slayer to Twilight; all the teen vamps to come owe something to the pouting, broody sex-appeal of The Lost Boys. 

Joel Schumacher (who has been relatively out as gay for most of his Hollywood career) directed The Lost Boys (1987) which, as you know, is the ‘80s vampire classic, saturated with homoerotic subtext.

“Like all Eighties teen classics, it’s really a coming-of-age story: physical transformation, sexual awakening, and experimentation” says this review of the film at 30 (in 2017) (missing out, it being The Telegraph, a conservative British newspaper, the all important homoerotic element):

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/films/0/lost-boys-30-sexy-vampires-onset-raving-making-eighties-movie/    

It’s a great movie for Davy Perez and Nick Vaught to reference in 14x16 Don’t Go in the Woods, because not only is it subtextually significant that Dean is obsessed with it (yep, that boy is bi) but it also resonates with Jack’s side of the narrative too.

In The Lost Boys, two brothers, Michael and Sam, move to Santa Carla (a fictionalised Santa Cruz) and Michael gets drawn into a sexy vampire biker gang (the title referencing of course, the lost boys of Peter Pan) while Sam meets a couple of kid vampire hunter brothers (Edgar and Allen Frog, played by Corey Feldman and Corey Haim) at a local comic store:

The kid monster hunters are sort of paralleled by Jack and his brief foray into friendship with Eliot, Max and Stacy:

 Meanwhile Michael is being seduced, ostensibly by Star (Jami Gertz) the girl who lures him into the vampires’ world:

but actually by David (Kiefer Sutherland) the leader of the Lost Boys, who uses Star as bait:

in order to achieve Michael’s “recruitment” into his New Romantic all-male vampire “brotherhood”:

The song “Cry Little Sister” by Gerard McMahon, is a recurrent motif in the movie and its lyrics make this (subtextual) bisexual seduction, in which David uses Star to seduce Michael for himself, apparent (to subtext readers):

“Cry, little sister! (Thou shalt not fall) Come, come to your brother! (Thou shalt not die) Unchain me, sister! (Thou shalt not fear) Love is with your brother! (Thou shalt not kill)”

Love is with your brother - uh-huh. 

Don’t Go In the Woods, as part of this season’s ongoing Ouroboros narrative (which returns regularly to previous SPN episodes in order to comment on them) invites us to look again at 6x05 Live Free or Twihard.

Because that is the episode in which Dean himself is turned into a vampire, by a male vampire, Boris, who calls him “pretty”, before making Dean drink his blood, in an alleyway under a neon sign titled “The Black Rose” (”stemming the rose” being a euphemism for anal sex):

It’s interesting that, even after enduring that textually traumatic (subtextually homoerotic) event, Dean remains obsessed with The Lost Boys (which he doubtless first encountered as a kid) despite the fact that it might now be expected to bring up his past trauma from Live Free or Twihard. 

Textually, we might read that as Dean using the movie to work through his trauma. We know that he is attracted to horror movies for that reason, thanks to 14x04 Mint Condition (also written by Perez). Subtextually, however, Dean’s obsession with The Lost Boys and its subtextual homoeroticism, directs us once more to the homoerotic subtext of Dean’s own forray into vampirism in 6x05.

Interestingly, 6x05 is also another “Soulless Sam” episode.

Clap Your Hands if You Believe (6x09) was referenced in last week’s 14x15 Peace of Mind, thanks to Sam and the teacup.

Sam in 14x15 Peace of Mind:

Sam in 6x09 Clap Your Hands if You Believe:

Clap Your Hands if You Believe references Peter Pan, just as The Lost Boys does. Ahhh what a lovely game of referencing the writers’ room is playing with us this season.

Peter Pan is very relevant to Jack, as although he looks as if he is in his early twenties, he is, in fact, as Don’t Go In The Woods emphasises, in fact only two years old. Jack is very much a “lost boy” emotionally right now too, as we see when his attempt at making friends with Max, Stacy and Eliot goes awry because he reveals his powers to impress them. 

The “Soulless Sam” call-backs are, of course, meant to add to the audiences’ sense of dread, that Jack may be heading for a soulless state himself.

In short, Dean loves The Lost Boys  A LOT, and Perez and Vaught use that movie both to comment on the long-running homoerotic subtext of Dean Winchester and on the resonances of Peter Pan for Jack “Bambi-faced” Winchester.   

Credit: @beatificdyke @meatmandean @nobodydean @weedsocksism @michaelsworddean

Metanatural part six of ?

So anyway let's talk about this cut line from dean

Discuss.

Dean????

i DO NOT intend to defend jensen ankles because i still think he needs to be seriously held accountable for things he’s said and done. disclaimer. but i DO enjoy interpreting what he said about his “intention coming across” during the lucifer fakeout call as destiel-positive solely because his cognitive gymnastics and/or utter lies are endlessly fascinating. why are you as a man going out of your way to say cas isn’t gay and acting all hint hint nudge nudge about the fakeout call in the same breath. i wholeheartedly think he has a smarter, more normal jensen inside of him at all times and they’re constantly one second away from choke slamming each other out of the vessel

@honeystiel how does it feel. to be funnier than me on my own post

oh did we deserve dean explaining bisexuality to mary….

dean doesn’t tell mary. i mean there’s nothing TO say, is there? not like dean’s gonna bring a guy home, atleast, not anyone who’s not cas. and cas, well— that’s a whole jar of feelings dean doesn’t wanna shake. doesn’t think she’ll get it anyway. if she does though, understand, that is, she won’t care a lot. probably. hopefully. it doesn’t feel like she cares a lot about dean, either way. so. he doesn’t tell mary.

he’s just sitting there, beer condensation wetting his palm. it’s guilt, and anger— always fucking anger, and perhaps gratefulness, and regretfully, more love. dean didn’t think it was possible. but cas is a dumb sonuvabitch, and dean is— well, doesn’t matter. what cas did was stupid, and dean doesn’t see any way they’re getting out of this Cosmic Consequence unscathed. he sighs when he hears footsteps approaching. mary doesn’t ask if she should join him, just gets a beer for herself, and sits facing him.

it’s too quiet for two people for a few minutes, then dean says, not making eye contact, “thanks.”

“mm,” she replies, and dean can feel her gearing up to say something heavy. instead, her voice is small when she says, “i wanted to talk to you about something.”

it’s heavy alright. it’s the darkest hour of the night and he is so tired, and he can tell it’s something that’s not gonna be easy to ‘talk’ about. “sure,” he says nevertheless. not that there was another answer. dean does what is asked of him to.

“it’s about, uh, cas.”

well fuck.

“and you,” she adds. “you an’ cas.”

fuck.

dean hasn’t looked her in the eye since they came back. not after billie. it’s like he can’t disappoint her enough. “what about cas?”

“are you seeing someone?” it’s abrupt. alrighty.

“uh, no? no.”

“i— i knew a,” she’s hesitating, he can tell, fingers circling the rim of the bottle she’s holding. “i had a friend who—”

“it’s not like that, mom. cas isn’t— he’s not.”

it’s mary who doesn’t look up at him when she says, “hear me out.”

dean stays quiet, so she continues, fingers now tracing the wet circle on the table. “i had a friend. before, before john. and before paul. after bart.”

“don’t tell me about your boyfriends, mom. it’s gross.”

“shut up.”

dean chuckles, and she looks up, then, smiling softly. she doesn’t look disappointed. or angry. she looks—

“well, my friend, uh. married a guy soon after we broke up.”

“mom,” he sighs, “cas ain’t li—”

“baby, lemme finish.”

“okay. okay i’m sorry.”

mary rubs at her eyes, and softer, says, “don’t be. it’s. she married a guy and i never really—”

it takes him a moment, but when it clicks, it fucking clicks. he gasps theatrically, and mary curls further into herself. she looks—

dean sees what’s happening, knows it too well. fortunately, knows how to make it better too. “so. heh. who knew my mom was quite the player, huh?”

mary looks at him, calculating, and a thin smile appears on her face. “hardly.”

“so….”

“so.”

dean takes a sip of the beer, not good now that it’s not cold. waits a moment. lets it sink. then says, clearly, “but not cas and me, mom.”

“oh.”

“yeah.”

“but it’s nothing, um. i know what john was like but it’s— it’s not a bad thing. it’s not wr-wrong.” it’s as more a question than it is a statement. mary looks—

“it’s not. it’s not wrong.” dean tells her; himself. it’s not. it’s not. it feels right is what it is. “it’s uh— called. bisexual. bisexuality. people who bat for both teams.”

“bisexual.” mary says. repeats. smiles.

a beat, then two. ten. twelve. twenty.

“i had friends too. before.” dean confesses. feels light, then heavy, but when mary looks at him without what he thought she’d feel, he feels light again. like air, really.

“not me an’ cas, though.”

there’s a sorry smile on his face, a smile that’s too open apparently, too visible, because whatever was on mary face changes to pity.

“oh, baby.” she takes both his hands in her now. all four palms are damp, but man does it feel warm to be enveloped in your mother’s palms. “you will be,” she says, so sure that dean’d believe her if he were four. he’s closer to forty now, so he simply laughs softly.

“hopefully.”

mary smiles at him. she looks—

she looks proud. “guess we’re not that different, huh?”

“guess not.”