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#suicide tw – @coldsaturn on Tumblr
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ColdSaturn

@coldsaturn / coldsaturn.tumblr.com

THEY DEHUMANIZE THEIR VICTIMS, WE HUMANIZE THE KILLERS. CREDITS: Icon: Ally Hills
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Anonymous asked:

I'm curious. Is there a word of God answer about the foxes reactions to Riko's death? Do they find out Neil was there?

nora talks about it in the first section of THIS post of the extra content from what I’ve understood of the post, even the foxes think that it was suicide? like, if it was open news that neil had been the one making it happen, I think we would have had details about kevin&neil, instead we only get kevin vs the foxes. I guess andrew knows or will know that neil was involved, but he doesn’t give 2 shits anyway, so that’s not an issue. it would have been hella interesting to see how knowing the truth would have changed the form of kevin’s grief, if he’d have redirected anger or shock at neil or something. 

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The scene in the lounge after the Raven vs Fox match where Ichirou kills Riko? Idk why but every time I think about it I can imagine Riko singing “all around me are familiar faces..” right before he gets shot.

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coldsaturn

right after the shot “mmmmmmwatcha say” starts playing 

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TKM Timeline

ok so, @flowerparrish gained legend status by giving us the timelines for TFC and TRK (you can find them HERE), but we were still missing TKM, and for the meta I’m preparing I needed all three laid out, so I wrote the one that was left. I tried being as careful as possible, but mistakes are 100% still there, so bear with me xD Also, the timeline matched 2007 precisely, if not for a single point where I don’t know if it’s a matter of mistake during the rewriting of the book, or if I’m actually reading wrong. Also, I’ll try to keep the formatting similar to the other timelines to keep things neat. Without further ado: 

Tuesday, January 2: Neil has his looks back, and is waiting for the team to come back after christmas break. it’s been 7 weeks since he last saw the foxes. matt punches kevin for letting neil go to the nest. neil gets a careful hug from nicky, aaron doesn't give a shit, neil and kevin argue about what to do. nicky gives neil his christmas gift, a coat. kevin gives him his binder back. "I know what he's like," Kevin said ... "Riko. If you want to talk."--- Kevin breaking my heart. Neil outs to kevin that he knows coach is his father. they go pick up andrew. once parked back at fox tower, neil goes to take his binder from under the driving seat and andrew shifts closer, prompting another poem on how steady andrew is. rooftop confrontation. iconic lines follow "You spend all this time watching our backs," ... "who's watching yours?" "the next time someone comes for you, stand down and let me deal with it. do you understand?" "if it means losing you, then no," "I hate you," "you were supposed to be a side effect of the drugs." "i'm not a hallucination," "you're a pipe dream". then kids kerfuffle ensue: andrew tosses  the keys off the roof. neil goes down, picks up andrew's cigarette and throws his signature salute back at him. neil goes back in and goes to bed early after a short exchange with matt. 

Wednesday, January 3: Neil goes to the library looking for news about his father and riko, but falls asleep. andrew has a hair kink and wakes him up. "Fingers clenched into a fist in his hair and Neil didn't resist as Andrew forcibly tilted his head back." other iconic lines follow "Is your learning curve a horizontal line?" they reach the car, the seating arrangement has already changed; Kevin is now in the backseat with Aaron and Nicky. Andrew finds an Extra™ way to give Neil the key of his car, by fastening it to the phone charger. (did he already know that neil would need to charge his phone in the car? did he plan the entire dialogue out? what?) abby decides to keep neill off the court for a week and is the usual angel that she is "All I can do is patch you up afterward and hope for the best. I'm sorry, Neil. We should have been there for you." THEN SHE HUGS HIM . the girls see neil, andrew punches matt for kevin. "Andrew dug a fingernail into the hollow of Neil's throat until he had Neil's undivided attention. "Sit down and be still." UNNECESSARY. neil stares at a new knife andrew is playing with. "i've never understood why he likes knives." neil sees the glimpse of the past!renee. wymack gives the calendar for the next matches and gives his motivational speech du jour. kevin smacks Neil's head because he doesn’t understand the meaning of recovery time. neil argues, andrew proves everyone's point by pinching neil's wrist and KO'ing him. follows makeup party with the girls as Allison fixes neil to be presentable 

Thursday, January 4: neil studies matches, then rides in Allison's pink convertible, thanking her for the silence (what an underappreciated friendship honestly). second round he rides with aaron, and what a fucking petty thing Neil is "Neil drove, and somehow he resisted asking how long it'd been since anyone let Aaron ride passenger. There was nothing yet to gain from antagonizing Aaron." (funny thing is that aaron is most likely thinking the same thing). neil checks his messages from christmas and then narrates about jean. "Neil wondered what it cost him to watch them both leave." shhhhh DON'T "katelyn and aaron had sneaked around most of fall semester, avoiding each other at games and meeting up at the library between classes" (convenient that andrew hates libraries). neil has a session with bee, and then rides back with aaron, where they have a civil talk that still has me shook. then neil asks renee about her reaction at the knife comment, then a bit of her backstory, and then my heart swells "If you need them, he will give them to you, and I will teach you how to use them."  "Neil was starting to understand why Andrew liked her." also andrew is a petty cat "Instead of clearing the balls back down the court like usual, he was firing them at Kevin. More specifically, right at Kevin's feet. [...] Andrew did the same to Dan" wymack has the brilliant idea to use andrew's bf. "I don't think he'll listen to me" "you and I both know he will."  andreil make another exchange: andrew will stop antagonizing the team, and neil will show him his scars. wymack KNOWS "just promise me this sin't going to be a problem" then there's andreil scene with andrew mapping with his hands neil's scars. eden's twilight. roland thinks andrew ties neil up and throws his pal and his secret crush under the bus. tragic. then this happens "that doesn't mean I wouldn't blow you."  "Neil jumped like he'd been shot and jerked his attention to Kevin. Whatever Kevin saw on Neil's face, it was enough to kill his curiosity. Kevin slowly closed his mouth, withdrew his hand, and went back to drinking" #awkward. On Monday the night practices resume.

Tuesday, January 11: neil gets his clearance and can play. dan/matt + neil talk about gettin the team back together. they settle on talking with katelyn first, then aaron. "He catches on at last," Andrew mused. "it only took him a year. " "what are you afraid of?" "heights." (andrew unnecessarily spilling truths in a casual back&forth with neil) 

Friday, January 12: matt reports what dan has found out from katelyn about the twinyards agreement. neil plots about involving bee. neil shows his tattoo to allison and dan. neil texts with katelyn to fix an appointment for the next day, then calls bee to confirm that she can work with andrew and aaron together. 

Saturday, January 13: neil meets with katelyn at the library. [[HERE THERE'S A MASH BECAUSE NARRATION TALKS LIKE EVERYTHING HAPPENS ON THE 11TH, BUT THE NIGHT OF TUESDAY NEIL IS AT NIGHT PRACTICE AND THEN GOES TO SLEEP AND THEN TALKS TO MATT. ALSO KATELYN TOO MAKES THE APPOINTMENT THE NEXT DAY SO THERE ARE ACTUALLY 2 DAYS SMASHED IN 1. BECAUSE I’M IGNORANT AND I DON’T KNOW HOW TO PUT THIS STRAIGHT I’LL WRITE AGAIN FRIDAY]] 

Friday, January 12: it's raining and on matt's words allison is a "hot mess". matt tells neil that he's the main star in 2 of their 16 bets. they reach the airport. iconic lines. "andrew, you can't be. what were you doing on the roof?" "feeling" neil gives andrew his first name. someone takes their picture while they're cute with the matching coat. andrew buys bee a figurine. riko and jean are there, watching the game. matt is the first to react with a furious "what are they doing here?" "I'll ask," andrew said, and started that way. LMAO also andrew shows that he has every single detail of the enemy's team printed in his head and they're going to win because he's a genius. also wymack "anyway, imagine I actually got through everything important I needed to say, because it's too late to finish it now. the court's open." thanks xD 

MATCH vs Texas: the first part of the game is "an even back-and-forth, with a couple collisions, near-misses, and more than a few rude words exchanged." Dan resisted 10 minutes before flipping the starter that was marking her off her feet, then made the kind gesture of offering a hand, then provoked until the starter punched her, earning them both a yellow card. the rest of the first half was brutal, and andrew let only 2 goals in, as it was agreed with wymack. the foxes have 4 goals. at the second half the Longhorns got 2 players red-carded and 5 yellowed. the final score was 7-6, foxes' favour.

renee goes to greet the ravens, and "Riko didn't take the hand Renee offered, but Jean did. The handshake lasted a little too long, but Neil didn't know which one of them was slower to let go." and it goes on with "Renee was the first bright thing to catch his eye."  a reporter asks about neil's tattoo, and neil decides to humiliate riko in front of the press again. "Look, I'm going to be honest," *proceeds to drag him* "I said I'd be honest, but that was a little too transparent. Let's say this instead--" then neil and kevin have a kerfuffle because kevin is horrified, and then neil warns wymack "Oh, and sorry in advance about the press. In my defense, they started it." "Christ alive," Wymack said. RIP

Saturday, January 13: fans start to retaliate after Neil's brilliant press interview, they trash the cars. aaron accuses neil using seth, allison hits aaron, andrew attacks allison. neil manages to calm andrew down, aaron realises just how far andrew would go for him. aaron and neil argue over the twinyards agreement (and aaron says that it took andrew 5 months to make the accident happen; that's a thing to remember because nora had left it very vague in the extra content). rooftop date to flirt a bit. neil comes back down and aaron attacks him because of katelyn. "Cool it," Ricky warned them. WHO THE FUCK IS RICKY. his whole point in the story is to tell them to chill. who's this unsung hero. renee tells neil that she tried taking him from andrew, and andrew refused (extra content: til death do us part)

Sunday, January 14: more retaliation, campus is defaced. tetsuji is forced to release a statement over it, which was creepily supportive until he ended with the equivalent to "yo the retaliation happened too late, you need to punish them right when they fuck up, not later or you won't train them" fuck this asshole in particular 

Monday, January 15: no disasters. at practice kevin is having a breakdown because everyone is distracted, neil pisses him off even more and then runs away leaving it to dan and matt to calm kevin down. neil jogs with andrew and renee, he hears them talk about exy and then what would cause WWIII 

Tuesday, January 16: things are going slightly better, and neil runs again with renee and andrew. zombie AU talk. jean messages and then calls renee. 

Wednesday, January 17: neil offers andrew to buy the car with him. "make a new deal with me." "what would you take for it?" "what would you give me?" "don't ask questions you already know the answer to." the new deal is making andrew stop taking cracker dust

Friday, January 19: nathaniel turns 19 yo. the blood bomb in the locker, then the "happy 19th birthday, jr" on the far wall.

HOME GAME vs Belmonte: neil is pissed off and gets a yellow card before the half time break, and then the foxes play second half like they have everything to lose. neil uses the passing and shooting skills kevin taught him + some footwork he got from the ravens in december, the others are going strong too. too strong; with eight minutes on the clock the foxes started to slow down, though they have a two-point lead. neil and kevin are up to fresh backliners, but two minutes later a striker gets around matt and races for the goal, andrew gets out of his box and checks him hard. when the ball gets back on neil's side, he scores. foxes win eight-five. 

aaron guesses that neil is running away from someone (uuuuuuhhhhh no shit), twinyards+neil kerfuffle ensues, andrew confesses murder right then and there, much to wymack's joy. neil tells more truths to the team. wymack decides to install cameras. they think riko is to blame for this stunt. neil receives a "49" on his phone 

Saturday, January 20: neil sees the photo of andrew and him at the airport, "staring each other down barely a breath apart." neil breaks my heart apart by deciding not to tear the picture down because it will be something the foxes will have to remember him after he's dead. neil and wymack go through potential new players for the next year, and he tells neil that he'll be making him vice-captain next year. "don't you notice? they're uniting around and behind you. that's something special. you're something special." neil goes out distressed, calls andrew and andrew goes back to pick him up. car shopping time. once back neil goes to the rooftop, andrew follows him and gives him the second key of the new car. "you gave me a key and called it home." "don't look at me like that. I am not your answer, and you sure as fuck aren't mine." THEY KISS "TELL ME NO" "I WON'T BE LIKE THEM I WON'T LET YOU LET ME BE." "THE NEXT TIME ONE OF THEM SAYS YOU'RE SOULLESS I MIGHT HAVE TO FIGHT THEM." "Hey," he said, but Andrew didn't look at him. "Thank you." 

Sunday, January 21: "48"  "47"  (given Neil fucked up sleep schedule, he gets two messages in his waking times) it is revealed that the very short call andrew got in the car and to which he responded simply with "don't" was renee asking him if they should throw neil a bday party

Monday, January 22: "46". the foxes fangirl over andrew's new car. also "his thoughts kept derailing without warning. whenever andrew crossed the room, neil's gaze followed.

Wednesday, January 24: kengo collapses and gets admitted into hospital. Neil gets his new gear on Thursday 

Friday, January 26: 

AWAY GAME vs SUA: very talkative team, put up a fight but weren't awful about it. by half time the results from the other night's match are in: UT has slaughtered Belmonte. this motivates the foxes and they dominates the second half. they win by a comfortable margin. 

"42" 

Tuesday, January 30: kengo is released from the hospital 

Wednesday, January 31: andrew and aaron go to bee together *sobs* 

Friday, February 2: ERC gives out the matches for the month. andrew and aaron are pouty with each other so they don't move to columbia. aaron is off with katelyn, and nicky invites neil to their room. nicky confesses that he doesn't have the key to andrew's new car, neil is shook. "35" neil and nicky go buy ice cream for everyone. once back, kevin is still watching exy streams, and nicky goes to matt's to get a decent DVD, leaving neil and andrew alone in the room. "neil locked the door behind him" YOU GO WITH INTENT MY DUDE iconic lines follow like "I'm open to drawing a map on you if you want to loan me a marker. that's not a bad idea." "everything about you is a bad idea." "andrew's expression didn't change but there was a subtle shift in his body's tension that told neil he'd gotten andrew's attention" (yes I know what kind of tension andrew is having *wink wink nudge nudge*) ALSO "thinking that andrew needed space and time to regroup the same way neil did almost wrecked neil's attempts to get his neutral facade back together." SAME FUCKING SAME JESUS 

Wednesday, February 7: everyone is panicking for the incoming match and renee is sad because her conversation with jean isn't going well. neil then tries to be practical and says to kevin that they should have brought andrew so they could train on a guarded goal but kevin goes philosophical instead "your target is not the goalkeeper: it is the goal itself." feel the ball be the ball neil 

Thursday, February 8: he legit asks renee and andrew about kevin's philosophical stance I'm crying. renee is supportive and kind, andrew straight out goes for the throat and says to neil to stop copying kevin

Friday, February 9:  

HOME GAME vs the Catamounts: 45 minutes into the game the score is 6-3 foxes favour. the team is shook because the sportscasters are saying nice things about them. second half starts hard with catamounts trying to close the gap, but 20 minutes later the score is still the same. tempers are flaring and a fight is going to snap somewhere; unsurprisingly, it will be started by andrew when he calls for nicky because something needs to be done since neil and kevin can't get past the backliners. nicky will knock his marker off his feet, and he'll come back for nicky. andrew will be faster and push him away. the marker won't try to go at andrew because matt and his mark will intervene. nicky is red carded. aaron substitutes for him, and there's a penalty shot. andrew will of course stop it and rebound it where neil can get it; he will make a goal but still crash on the wall behind because he was running too fast. neil and andrew flirts shamelessly on court. kevin will score 10 minutes later, andrew rebounds balls off the catamounts' strikers' helmets just to be a shit (can't believe it's canon). foxes win on 8-3. 

"renee snagged Kevin for a quick hug" cAN'T BELIEVE THIS HAPPENED EITHER. follows domestic party at abby's. neil goes for andrew who's on the hood of the car. "would it kill you to let something in?" "It almost did the last time" "28"

Thursday, February 15: neil gets a microphone again, which means that he shits on the ravens once again, saying that they'll beat them this time for sure, and that Coach Moriyama should resign. andrew is clearly getting off on neil dragging them through the dirt, because he goes to him while everyone is out and kevin is too drunk, and it's handjob time + finding out that andrew's neck is very sensitive! 

Friday, February 16: game night with nicky and then he sleeps over <3

Saturday, February 17: kengo is hospitalized again. andrew decides to sleep in front of neil because why the fuck not, neil asks him to break their first agreement. also "andrew was still curled up in the other chair, but the noise had woken him as well. he met neil's bleary-eyed stare a moment before going back to sleep." I'm weak. -- the next week is described as neil training and rooftop makeouts

Thursday, February 22: upperclassmen are going out of town for the weekend, and neil asks andrew about his plans for the future, then shares about his past and running through 22 cities in 16 countries. andrew says that he went through 12 houses before cass, all in california. neil invites him to go someplace at spring break. "this isn't worthless." "there is no this. this is nothing." "and I am nothing. [...] and as you've always said, you want nothing." 

Friday, February 23: 

HOME GAME vs Nevada: it ends in a six-up tie, and draws are settled by shootouts. foxes will win by one point.

Thursday, March 1: foxes watch the game that will decide which one of the Big Three will be eliminated. everyone is in awe at how awesome the teams are, kevin is being a downer and neil smacks the back of his head. "if you hit me again," Kevin started. Andrew cut in with a casual, "you'll what?" <3 trojans win. 

Friday, March 9: neil and andrew share confidences on the bus, andrew agrees to break the promise. andrew slips up and indirectly agrees that they have something by telling neil that wymack "he sees what is, not what people want him to see."  "0" 

AWAY GAME vs the Bearcats: at half-time the foxes are 2 points behind, and neil is treading the line to a red card. neil asks andrew to shut down the goal, andrew says "not for free" neil says "anything." andrew will deliver, defending the goal as if his life depended on it, and for the first time ever started talking to the defense line (matt is delighted). the foxes manage to close the gap and right at the last minute Kevin scores, giving them the lead. bearcats don't take it well and start a fight. 

neil gets a call from lola, who informs him that nathan is in baltimore and then kindly invites him for a family reunion. "thank you, you were amazing." I refuse to sum up in detail, so: they get to nathan, torture ensues, then uncle Stuart comes to save the day and our protagonist. (but "They only let us come here unchallenged because we promised we would take him alive." "the moriyamas?" "no. [...] we are giving you to the FBI as a distraction." who is this third player in game that controls baltimore and can get in the middle of this mess??? the hatfords???  also "we cannot yet take you where we need to go. [...] we will come back for you when we can. I promise." listen this was the perfect set up for a 4th book I'm so mad.) neil gets taken by the FBI 

Saturday, March 10: neil and assholes from the FBI go back and forth until it is agreed that neil can see his teammates. andrew bulldozes in the room, iconic lines ensue "if you can't stow that attitude and behave--" "you'll what, asshole?"  "Get away from us" the team insist to have neil back, and andrew goes with him for the final interrogation

Sunday, March 11: the interrogation goes on. neil becomes Neil officially under the law. they go back to the hotel where the foxes and wymack+abby are. abby checks neil's injuries. they decide to leave baltimore immediately, then this iconic line: "coach made us promise to leave you alone, but are you okay?" "no, but I think I will be" CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. they get all close and tight on the bus, go back to fox tower, andrew is silently taking care of neil and I'm dying, neil tells the team the rest of his story. they discuss press problems, and neil suggests in french to kevin that wymack being his dad would be a bigger scoop. then they make an adorable pajama party and I ascend to heaven.

Monday, March 12: neil says to kevin that it would be nice if he got rid of his tattoo as well, but kevin doesn't take it well. also, neil refuses to exclude matt using other languages and makes kevin switch back from french to english. then SHOWER SCENE. iconic scene where they all invent excuses for neil's wounds to the waitress. iconic moment when mat asks "did you have any plans to do anything? Besides the obvious, I mean." iconic moment when kevin tries to say no to neil's holiday plan and andrew threatens to kill him. iconic moment with wymack. "You saved my life. three times." leave me here to cry. kevin tells wymack that they're kinda blood related. just kinda. also "she taught coach exy." '"and what, he didn't notice that he knocked her up?" aaron asked'. lmao aaron. cabin holiday with the team, neil drinks and nicky loses his shit over it. aaron calls neil on the side and very kindly and gently and with the tact he's famous for, checks that neil really cares for andrew and is not just taking advantage of him/won't hurt him. andreil shares a room.

Tuesday, March 13: kengo is dead, renee takes jean from the nest

Wednesday, March 14: neil convinces kevin to talk jean out of going back to the ravens. neil explains to the higher-ups his situation and they debate whether to keep him in the exy world. wymack convinces them, and then warns that kevin day is his son. 

Monday, March 26:  ichirou pops up and makes the deal with neil. also neil drags riko and basically tells him to get rid of him before he does something damaging to ichirou. he then goes to kevin and jean to tell them that he kinda made the agreement for them too. neil asks andrew to choose them and the life neil is about to start, andrew gives him matching arm-bands. kevin demands to be taken to court and then snaps, andrew intervenes, they have a kerfuffle on court. 

Wednesday, March 28: press comes for interviews. neil confirms that he will be out for friday's game, but will be back on court for the semifinals. 

Thursday, March 29: andrew confronts katelyn, and shares details of his past with neil, and the heartbreaking reason why neil is acceptable for him. 

Friday, March 30: 

HOME GAME vs Bearcats: Kevin plays right-handed. game is vicious and yellow cards are popping up everywhere, the bearcats are trying to eliminate players. but the foxes don't retaliate, and 2 bearcats players go out red carded. game ends with 7-5 fox win. 

aaron and katelyn kiss in public. kevin drops the line of the century "Did you know I've never been skiing? I'd like to try it one day, though." wymack's reaction is also incredible "Great, he's turning into another you. That's just what I needed." party after the match with the vixens, aaron reveals that andrew has chosen to keep neil over sending katelyn away, also he's trading rooms with neil the next day. andrew puts neil's hand on his chest, making my heart (and neil's, probably) explode.

Saturday, March 31: thea shows up to confront kevin on what a shitty boyfriend he's been, and kevin calmly explains to her that life&death situations + trauma sometimes changes your priorities, go figure. 

Friday, April 6: 

AWAY GAME vs Trojans: before the match, kevin asks jeremy if he wants to take jean, and then reveals that they're going to play foxes style, with only 9 people instead of 28, thus giving up the game since they aren't used to play a full match. first half will have the trojans dragging them, but they don't know how to pace themselves, and in the second half foxes will close the gap. foxes will win 13-9. 

  laila&alvarez show up <3 jeremy then tells the press that jean won't be back in black <33   [[[book says that jeremy had talked to jean earlier in the week, but it's still friday. I guess he's making it up for the press]]] the group goes to eden's, but first andrew announces that they are stopping with crackerdust. nicky guesses that roland and andrew used to hooked up and is OffendedTM that he didn’t know. they will get a week off before the finals.

Monday, April 9: wymack tells them that the final game will be played at castle evermore, and that they'll have to fill seats with parents and friends, 2 reserved seats for each fox. but they can't fill all the seats, dan will reserve the remaining ones for her stage sisters. at the practice night, nicky and aaron will show up too. wednesday the rest of the upperclassmen will tag along as well. kevin is keeping a secret that he can play with both hands. in the meantime andreil can't get a proper alone time, but nicky drags kevin out every time he can, and spends himself as little time in their room as possible. andrew only occasionally lets this happen. 

Wednesday, April 18: aaron and andrew cancel with betsy to train. 

Thursday, April 19: kevin doesn't go to night's practice because he has "something to take care of" and left neil in charge. neil didn't like to tell others what to do, but at the end dan says "nicely done, captain." kevin comes back drunk as hell, and with a new tattoo on his face. iconic line time "I'm going to be the deadliest piece on the board".  andrew smiles for the first time since he got sober. andreil decides that kevin's stunt is a good jerk off material so they go to bed at like dawn. 

Friday, April 20: people don't take kevin's new tattoo well,  but a few in between shout "queen". erik shows up, then 4 of dan's sisters, renee's mother, matt's parents, + matt's dad gf (book says mistress, but I don't know if it's an illicit thing turned official in the family or what), then bee. kevin can't stop won't be stopped from spilling iconic gems "and my father comes to all of my games. that is enough." but someone has come for neil too, and he goes to meet with stuart, who tells him that ichirou is cutting off anyone that's a liability, and that neil can't be protected anymore. wymack gives the speech of a lifetime "fight because you don't know how to die quietly. win because you don't know how to lose."

AWAY GAME vs Ravens: the game gets violent fast, and the foxes' defence can't hold up against the ravens. at half  time, they're 7-3 ravens favour. turns out that andrew and wymack made renee goalie in the first half even though she didn't want to be there at all, because "andrew said he could control the score if she showed him how they played." second half starts, and kevin switches hand. he will score twice in the first 8 minutes. at 16 minutes, the score is 8-6, and the ravens finally lost their temper. one of the ravens will jump on kevin at his third goal, and it will take 6 referees to break up the fight, and he'll get red carded. kevin will score on the foul shot. they'll focus on the backliners and goalie instead. one will intentionally crush andrew against the wall. neil is ready to punch the life out of him, but matt will stop him. that raven will get red carded, but tetsuji is using that to sub them. andrew will remember neil that he's the fastest player on court, and then change the formation to: dan playing striker for neil, and neil going back to backliner in matt's place, since he's limping. "trust me. I can keep him away from andrew while you rest." (backliner!neil gives me a lot of feelings tbh.) neil is marking riko to hell and back, and minutes go by without a clear shot on goal. neil will pop his shoulder but boy doesn't care. score is 8-8. andrew won't stop a goal, and allison+aaron are substituted for nicky+matt. kevin will score on a rebound, and they're 9-9 at the last 5 minutes of game. neil is completely out of energy and when the buzzer goes off at the last minute, neil falls to his knees. the buzzer goes off again, this time for kevin's goal at the last 2 seconds of the game. 10-9 foxes win. 

neil should be dead but somehow has enough oxygen to drag riko again, and riko takes a shot at his head. andrew runs up to them and breaks riko's arm. the celebration and passing of the trophy is postponed to the next morning. riko is brought away in an ambulance. hours go by and they're still there, until a guard calls for neil. he's brought in front of tetsuji, riko, stuart, and ichirou (plus another 1 or 2 faceless dudes). ichirou kills riko, and then makes it pass as suicide by putting the gun in his hand. neil goes back to the locker room smiling, and with wymack threatening to leave them there if they don't get to the bus in 2 minutes, and andrew for the first time not denying that he and neil definitely have something going on, TKM ends.

the book goes for 357 pages, covering 4 months, and more or less 45-47 specific days.

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Anonymous asked:

Etra do you think you and your wonderful followers could help me find a fic on AO3? It's Andreil and (I know it's morbid but I'm an angst ho) Neil slit his wrists. When he wakes up in the hospital Andrew yells at him to stop running.

do you remember whether there was a specific warning tag on ao3? that would make looking for it easier. multichap or oneshot? every info you have is useful. and if anyone reading this knows the fic, speak up and help a fellow fox! :3 

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jean moreau’s thirty reasons to stay alive

this list began one year to the day of when jean moreau joined the trojans

  1. he is gone
  2. sunrises
  3. jeremy reading harry potter to me
  4. caramilk chocolate
  5. the feel of the sun
  6. dogs (i think ill want to adopt one one day)
  7. i am reading books again
  8. riko cant touch me anymore
  9. jeremy when he tries to speak french
  10. i have not gotten any injuries that are not related to exy in a year
  11. pumpkin spice lattes (especially because jeremy hates them)
  12. trojan team
  13. kevin day and i are slowly becoming friends once more
  14. renee calls every three days
  15. i have come to realize i like the smell of lilies. my dorm with jeremy is filled with them now. he took it a little out of hand. i smiled. 
  16. i still cannot go anywhere alone but jeremy always comes with me. he says it will get easier. i find myself believeing him. 
  17. every day is hard but i am breathing and thats enough of a reason
  18. graduation
  19. jeremy asking to hold my hand
  20. yes means yes now, and no means no
  21. the trojans taking camping trips so we could see the stars
  22. baths after practice
  23. when i sprained my hand, jeremy allowed me to sit out the next day to heal
  24. i get to heal
  25. i cant stop looking at jeremys smile
  26. i am not number three anymore. it is just a number. i am more than a number. the trojans know that.
  27. jeremy talking in his sleep
  28. kevin and i have been talking regularly, and he is happy. that is a good reason.
  29. game nights with the trojans
  30. him.  jeremy knox. jeremy knox. jeremy knox. 
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badacts
Anonymous asked:

is there any discussing in the aftg books about andrew's suicide attempt? there isn't a lot of information surrounding it and i was just wondering when it happened and at what point in andrew's life it happened. don't know if you or anyone might know

hi there. as far as i’m aware andrew self-harmed as a kid (the cause of his scars) but never made a deliberate suicide attempt

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coldsaturn

I can confirm this, it was self-harm, not a suicide attempt. as for the talk about andrew’s mental state and his past, it has been discussed several times in meta, and you can read it HERE 

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reblogged

please expand your ideas or hcs on nathan/ichirou. i need more of it in my life. thank you ♡

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thank you for this extremely important ask 

um. oh god, oh god i am so sorry but this is definitely NOT what you asked for. jesus. i’m so sorry. I promise to make an actual nathan/ichirou thing soon this is just …. definitely not that, 

this is 4000 words of ichirou moriyama character study, that is um… definitely not what you asked for 

jesus. fuck me. i feel so bad. eh, here have it anyway, enjoy the garbage, 

ichirou moriyama was raised to be the emperor. since the day he was born, he was told that he is better than everyone else, because of who his family is - that he has certain advantages in life that he must live up to, because he owes it to the people who have less than him to make the best of his own privileged circumstances. heading the family means there will be hundreds of people who will rely on him to be violent and ruthless in order to protect them and their interests. 

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coldsaturn

well, sign me the fuck up

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nah imma do this  @glowingforyou @still-waiting-for-godot - I’m still not sure if I want andreil to be childhood friends reunited, but BOY IS IT TEMPTING  - actually yes, let’s just do it because it’s a nice crossover  - cause PARALLELS  - max’s “I will never abandon you, chloe” is the same as neil’s “I want to go back for you” because, guess what, max did abandon chloe and doesn’t want to be that person anymore, just as neil doesn’t want to look out only for himself after falling for andrew 

-

“don’t look at me like that” 

- and I can’t fucking find a single gif of it now but you know ep1 when they’re in chloe’s truck and max gifts us with this incredibly gay stare at chloe while she drives with the sun behind her 

probably waxing poetry like neil was on the bus with the poetic sun hitting andrew’s poetic hair and eyelashes  - rooftop dates becoming lighthouse dates 

- you know that awful alternative universe max visits when she saves chloe’s dad? and you remember andrew’s disease in the earlier drafts? yeah me too haha ha.  - significant gifs (phone) (camera) - you know how lots of people start reading tfc expecting a sports book about an outsider finding his new family and positive feelings about working hard for your goals and other classic sports stuff, and then shit gets fucking dark all of a sudden and you’re like WTF? and you know how lots of people start playing lis expecting an aesthetic videogame with bi&lesbian characters with indie music in the background and then shit gets FUCKING DARK haha ha.  tw for tw: spoilers for LIS

tw for: death, kidnapping, needles, drugs, suicide, bullying, goddamn murder and creepy sexual vibes from adult figure in power position toward 18-19yo people tw for video: all the above, gore (referring to a picture on the wall)

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fahey

Seth and Allison

Seth was scared of her—of how he felt for her, of how easily she swept into his life to turn him inside-out, and of how forceful she was about his behavior and life choices—and he hated that she made him feel that way.

“Every time he said he was done with life I walked away from him and every time he came chasing after me. This is the first time–he wanted to live. He was going to stop drinking and come clean and maybe let me make an honest man out of him. A couple more drinks before he called me and he would have proposed, he said. Don’t tell me that he’s never waking up! I don’t believe you!” [x]
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Wake me up before you go

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2c9GmP4

When Kevin leaves the ravens Jean tries to kill himself, Riko wont let him go.When Jean is forced to leave the ravens Jeremy gives him a reason to stay.

Words: 784, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2c9GmP4

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poze-laceen

@coldsaturn Lina, said you might like this

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coldsaturn

sometimes I forget that occasionally, indea is one of those very few writers who can make me cry or write something that manages to go past my reader persona and punch me right where things still hurt. it’s not an easy feat.  I should always remember that you wrote Like Fields of Poppies and should not to be trusted (in a very good way)  accidentally read it while listening to THIS and somehow it made the whole atmosphere turn thicker. 

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reblogged

You know what’s so great about Andrew Joseph Minyard? Okay, you know how he’s so bored with life and Nora has said that Andrew before Neil and without Neil was/would just counting down the days until he takes his last breath and dies and that he would just go day to day surviving, but not living? 

But then he fell for Neil and he found a reason to live? What’s so amazing to me, though, is that Andrew couldn’t have found a reason to live, even with Neil there, if Andrew hadn’t wanted a reason to live in the first place.

I hate to be crass, but if Andrew was so disinterested in life, why did he never just kill himself? Or seem to contemplate it? (or if he ever did contemplate it, why not seriously?) Because we know he cut himself when he was younger, but that wasn’t him trying to kill himself, that was Andrew trying to remind himself he could still feel. Andrew wanted to know he could, because like Neil said, Andrew really isn’t a sociopath. 

Andrew still, with all that has happened to him, wants to feel, wants to live. Why else would he have experimented with his sexuality over the years? He wanted to feel. 

In the second book (I believe) Renee said her and Andrew’s situations weren’t all that different and they are so different now because of luck and circumstance, and that is so true. Of course, Andrew wouldn’t have become a nice, gentle person like Renee or a born again Christian if Cass had adopted him, because he still would had to deal with Drake and still deal with all that happened to him for six horrible, long years. But I bet he would have been a little less bored with life, a little more willing to open himself up. A little less damaged. 

And the fact that Andrew really wanted to be adopted by Cass? That Andrew had a desire for a family??? I mean, Andrew is so derisive of family in the books and for good reason, because his one attempt at making a family for himself went to shit. But the fact that he tried to have a family in the first place? And that he wanted it??? That’s huge, I feel, in telling you who Andrew is as a person.

And then there’s the fact that his brother needed him, that Andrew sacrificed a chance at some shred of happiness so his brother wouldn’t go through what he went through?? Because family is important to Andrew. He just never became lucky enough to really have that family he so craved. But he was going to protect what little family he did have and hold onto it, even if it meant giving up that small happiness he could have had with Cass. 

And Andrew goes on about feeling nothing and nothing for no one, and wanting nothing, and it is such a lie, boy, come on.

If Andrew really didn’t feel anything, he would never have those moments of intense anger, he wouldn’t feel the need to talk to anyone, he wouldn’t have random bursts of frustration in Exy, or bursts where he really tries against a really hard team. He wouldn’t feel a need to “protect what is his” at all. 

I think Andrew doesn’t want, never wanted to, be bored with everything. I think a huge part of him hates his boredom with life and wishes he could give a fuck about most things. I think a part of him wanted something or someone to come along and make him want to actually live life again, otherwise he wouldn’t have ever tried anything with Neil or anyone, or promised Aaron and Kevin - and then Neil - anything.

But Andrew has been through so much horrible horrible shit and been let down so many times with life that he couldn’t bring himself to care, or even try to care after a certain point. I think after Cass, and then after Tilda and everything, that was the last straw for Andrew and he just became incredibly bored with everything and how predictable life and everyone living became to him. 

Then after he finally gave up trying, I bet it was hard for him to muster up a shit to give, because he probably had it in his head that it was just not worth it, that it would all end in a shit show and more pain and suffering, every time. 

But you don’t almost kill someone for hitting what you consider “yours” and have so much feeling in your eye that it hits Neil something fierce and practically knocks the wind out of him if you didn’t still have that hope inside you for a reason to live again.

And then Neil came along, and not only was he attractive - especially with his blue eyes and auburn hair - but he was someone Andrew couldn’t figure out. For once in his life - or at the very least, a very long time, Andrew met someone unpredictable - Neil was a liar, which Andrew probably thought was the same ol’ same ol’, but it was more than that, so much more. 

And Neil challenged Andrew every goddamn step of the way. He stood up to Andrew and he said with surety that he wasn’t afraid of him. He lied one minute but then opened his mouth and the words that came out of his mouth were fierce and cutting and Neil was way too perceptive for his own good (of course, except when it came to romance and sex). Neil said he wanted to be kept alive one second, but then seemed to have a death wish the next. 

Neil said he didn’t swing either way, but then he goes and says “yes” to Andrew. 

Neil wasn’t afraid to stand up to a man who could very well have him killed, but then he touched Andrew so gently, so respectfully - and didn’t touch him at all when Andrew told him not to. Neil was a firecracker, a hot head, and he sometimes showed an anger so intense it could rival the anger Andrew sometimes unleashed, but then he smiled at Andrew and looked at him softly and happily. 

Neil seemed to be just another predictable human being - pathological liar, too stupid for his own good sometimes, obsessed with some stupid sport to the point of idiocy sometimes, and he was just going to run eventually anyway and leave Andrew, just like everyone else but then he goes and shakes Andrew’s whole world apart. Then he goes and talks logic to Andrew. Then he goes and stands up to Andrew and hits the nail on the head more times than Andrew would care to admit. 

And Andrew, who doesn’t want to feel anything because of his own fear that a good thing will leave him, or that good thing could turn out to be a bad thing, feeling nothing. Except, he does. He just doesn’t want to. Because feeling things gets you hurt, gets you beaten down and heartbroken. Over and over and over again. Andrew isn’t going to let that happen again. 

So he hates Neil. Because hating Neil is safe, it’s easy, it’s familiar. If he hates Neil, when Neil leaves it won’t hurt - at least, that is what Andrew tells himself. 

But again, Andrew is not an actual sociopath. He’s a human being, he feels, however much he doesn’t want to, he has buried hopes and fears and desires. And he desires Neil. 

The others call Andrew a monster or a “pet psycho” or a sociopath (not that you can blame them. That’s all Andrew lets any of them see. The bad parts. It gets them to stay away and not get close to him), but he isn’t one at all. 

And Neil? Well, fuck, Neil sees that. He sees Andrew. He doesn’t see what Andrew wants him to see, he sees who Andrew really is, and Andrew hates that. He hates that he wants to kiss this boy and have him near and talk to him and he hates that Neil got under his skin and seems to know him better than he knows himself sometimes. He absolutely despises that he let Neil get so far under his skin.

And it gets to 101%, 102%, 103% because Neil keeps burrowing under Andrew’s skin to his heart and starts to make a home there and Andrew hates that someone got there again in the first place, that he’s being such a fool as to open himself up to more pain and hurt and heartbreak. 

He hates that he almost lost Neil in Baltimore because he let Neil in, even when he didn’t want to, and then Neil fucking goes and almost dies on him. Andrew can’t stand that he almost found himself broken and bloodied and bruised again because of this boy. Neil almost left him, and Andrew wouldn’t have been able to ever truly live again after that. No more, Andrew would have said. Not that there could have been anyone else to settle into Andrew’s heart again. 

But Neil lived. He fucking lived, and Andrew is so livid because of what he almost lost, but also because he had something that he could have lost again. And he just hates Neil more for doing this to him. 

But Neil is alive. He is whole - bruised, bandaged and scarred, but whole - and breathing and talking and Andrew is able to breathe again. And fuck Neil for making him lose his breath in the first place. Andrew could kill the son of a bitch. But he can’t. 

Because he fucking feels for the dipshit, and he could never bring himself to hurt Neil. To hurt him the way his father hurt him, to hurt him the way his mother hurt him, to hurt him at all. Because Neil has been through just as much shit as Andrew. It’s not the same shit, but it’s still horrible, hurtful shit all the same. And Neil understands having to survive. 

And I bet Andrew wished he could have been taken away like Neil was. Change his name, his looks, not been Andrew for a long while. But that never happened, and Andrew isn’t a person who could do that, not anymore. He lost that part a long time ago. All he has left is honesty and survival. 

But now…fuck, now he’s found a reason to actually live. And he hates it and loves it at the same time again (not that he would ever admit to the loving it part) and goddamn Neil for doing this to him. 

But he wants it. He wants something that makes him not feel so bored with life anymore. He wants something that makes him feel. He wants something that makes him so alive it hurts, even as it scares him shitless at the same time. 

Andrew could have killed himself, see. But he didn’t. He wanted to find a reason to live again. Even if it became the littlest part of him that you could imagine by his teen years….it was still there. Somewhere. 

And Neil awoke that part of him. 

Neil didn’t make Andrew want to live. He gave Andrew a reason to give into that want. To live day to day not just muddling through, waiting to die, but to actually want to get up and do something.

Andrew had a purpose with his promises to Kevin and Aaron before that, a purpose to make life not so boring all the time. But they weren’t reasons to live. Aaron, Kevin, Nicky, they kept Andrew’s head above water before Neil came along. But Neil is the one who got Andrew out of the water. 

And this boy, this man, Andrew Minyard, is no sociopath. He’s just had a horrible, hard life and learned how to survive, how to stay alive and keep those he cared about alive. 

But with Neil, Andrew learned how to actually live. 

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Foxhole court No happy Endings.

I’m probs going to hell for hurting these babies. But, I was thinking and this idea fell into my head, and won’t leave. (Someome, please write this!)

  • Play with the timeline a bit, Imagine Neil and Andrew getting together before Drake and Thanksgiving.
  • It’s still new, and with Andrew on his meds, it’s hard. But it’s theirs and it’s real.
  • Riko doesn’t necessarily ‘win’, but the Main Branch decides that Neil is more valuable and less of a liability at Evermore. They tell him when he’s there for Christmas Vacation. He doesn’t get to leave.
  • Because he’s a Raven now, Riko has to take it easier on him, so he can actually play. It doesn’t make it better, and just prolongs the torture.
  • Andrew finds out when he is released from the hospital. He nearly kills Kevin. He only lets him live to grill him for information about Neil. (He uses the info he gets from Kevin to start deciphering Neil’s scrapbook.)
  • After he starts deciphering Neil’s scrapbook, he learns just how deep the rabbit hole goes. And also gets more concrete evidence of the illegal shit the Butcher and Moriyama’s do.
  • Andrew starts cashing in some bonds and stuff. He deciphers Stuart’s number, and gets him as a contact.
  • He is getting Neil back, one way or another. (It honestly didn’t occur to him to leave Neil at Evermore and move on. Not an option)
  • He uses some of the money to bribe/set up a backup plan in case Aaron and Nicky (maybe Kevin) have to run. He knows it’ll be dangerous.
  • He probably sets up some of that mastermind “if anything happens to me, all this information will go to the media or FBI” kind of stuff, so that he has even more leverage to threaten the Moriyama’s with to get Neil back/keep his family safe.
  • His plan takes awhile. Too long. Neil is not okay.
  • He gets a mole inside Evermore. Maybe its Jean. Maybe it’s some freshman too dumb to be scared of the Moriyama’s. (Smart enough to be scared of Andrew)
  • Neil is not okay. He is being broken. The only thing keeping him going is the fact that Andrew and Kevin and the Foxes are okay as long as he’s at Evermore. (Most nights, this is enough. Sometimes its not. Riko likes those nights.) 
  • Whatever happens, Andrew knows getting Neil out of Evermore is going to be impossible.
  • With the money, information, and contacts out of Neils binder he has enough to protect Aaron and Nicky and Kevin.
  • Not himself though. Not Neil either. They both know too much, and are worth too much.
  • He just barely has enough to get him into Evermore.
  • He somehow gets into Evermore. Maybe he paid the Moriyama’s enough for a visitation. Maybe he stole a security guard’s pass. Maybe he Mission Impossibled that shit.
  • He drags Neil to one of the towers at Evermore.
  • Tells him the others are going to be safe, but Neil and Andrew are fucked.
  • Neil is just so relieved that the others are safe, he’s so sad Andrew isn’t. (Andrew made that choice though, he knew what he was doing.)
  • Andrew just lights up a cigarette.
  • “ Andrew was watching him, still perched on the edge like he had a death wish.”
  • “I’d drag you with me. It’s a long way down.”
  • Andrew looks at Neil. “Hey Runner. Wanna fly?”
  • and they jump.
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Andrew "Akito" Minyard

ok so, I'm known to some of you in the fandom as the unrepentant fancaster of noel fisher as andrew because yes (try watching mickey milkovich without thinking about andrew, TRY IT), but recently I rewatched/reread an anime/manga that made my childhood (kodomo no omocha), and my mind was totally blown. turns out that this *points self* lame ass fell for andrew exactly how and why she fell for akito, and fuck if I don't have a type. also this means that I've been in love with the same type of character for like 16 years, I'm embarrassed

enjoy the 11yo anime version of andrew

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