coldsaturn reblogged
THE ANDREW/NEIL EMOTIONS ARE SO STRONG RIGHT NOW JUST FUCK ME RIGHT UP
yes
coldsaturn reblogged
I just realised the first thing Andrew did was stop Neil's attempt at running away, and he hasn't stopped since.
And i just.
why don’t you just shoot me in the face
coldsaturn reblogged
Andrew kissed him like this was a fight with their lives on the line, like his world stopped and started with Neil’s mouth. Neil’s heart stuttered to a stop at the first hard press of lips against his and he reached up without thinking. His hand made it as far as Andrew’s jaw before he remembered Andrew didn’t like to be touched. Neil caught hold of Andrew’s coat sleeve instead and knotted his fingers in the heavy wool.
coldsaturn reblogged
rareadam
“Time was nothing. Seconds were days, were years, were the breaths that caught between their mouths and the bite of Neil’s fingernails against his palms, the scrape of teeth against his lower lip and the warm slide of a tongue against his.”
coldsaturn reblogged
and kneeling on the floor of a dingy hotel room in Baltimore, MD, staring at the wrecked remains of what Neil used to be, Andrew knew there was no going back from this, he was lost, he was lost, he was found.
coldsaturn reblogged
wymack-deactivated20170714
“Your crumbling psyche is your problem, not mine,“ Andrew said. "I said I would keep you alive this year. You make it infinitely more difficult for me when you actively try to get yourself killed.”
“You spend all this time watching our backs,” Neil said. “Who’s watching yours? Don’t say you are, because you and I both know you take shit care of yourself.”
coldsaturn reblogged
I won’t be like them. I won’t let you let me be.
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“But from now until May you are still Neil Josten and I am still the man who said he would keep you alive.”
I think I just had a heart attack
coldsaturn reblogged
“I hate you,” Andrew said casually. He took a last long drag from his cigarette and flicked it off the roof. “You were supposed to be a side effect of the drugs.” “I’m not a hallucination,” Neil said, nonplussed. “You are a pipe dream,” Andrew said. “Go inside and leave me alone.”
coldsaturn reblogged
Anonymous asked:
do you rhink andrew had a big realization/reaction to the fact that neil would only evr go as far (sexually) as andrew allowed him or do you think andrew already trusted neil enough that it didnt come as a surprise to him because o kind of think its the first ine since almost nobody in his life has ever given him reason to think that someone would respect his wishes (intimately)
I think andrew is always incredibly wary of other people, sexually and in general. and I think he probably doesn’t bother attempting to touch anyone that he doesn’t already trust a certain amount, let alone let them touch him. though we don’t know for certain, I would imagine andrew probably didn’t start anything up with roland until he’d figured roland out. so, whether he would admit it or not, I think at the point he kissed neil for the first time, he trusted him. not completely, because that will take so much longer for andrew to trust neil with everything. but I think he had spent long enough observing neil to figure out that at the very least, neil would listen when andrew said ‘stop.’ or know not to push it when andrew pulled back. and if he wasn’t sure then, by the second time they kissed I think andrew knew that neil wouldn’t push into territory that andrew wasn’t ready for. because neil asks, well before they even kiss, he asks where the lines are. and when neil leans in, he pauses and lets andrew decide when their lips touch. he lets andrew push him down and have control of everything. because neil knows how important that is. he understands (in a different way) what it’s like to be hurt by someone you shouldn’t have to fear, and how important it is that andrew has placed any trust at all in him, especially when neil has placed so much of his own trust in andrew.so, I suppose the short answer is, I don’t think andrew was very surprised or had a huge realization or reaction to the fact that neil wasn’t going to push at his sexual boundaries, because andrew would never have started something with neil if he didn’t have the measure of him enough to know that neil understood this was not a boundary to press.
#this is also one of the things I love best about them#the fact that neil is so aware and so conscious of the things andrew has been through#and he lets andrew set the pace#he won't let andrew even push himself somewhere he's not ready to go#because this is too important#this is 'I won't be like them. I won't let you let me be.'#this is neil asking 'how is this okay'#it's neil's hand just shy of touching andrew's arm#it's 'neil stopped when andrew told him to. it wasn't much but it was more than enough.' and thanks to this andrew will feel safe enough to say “it’s just yes”
coldsaturn reblogged
I've noticed there's a shift with Andrew whenever Neil brings up that he's nothing, like in the scene where Neil first gives Andrew his altered version of a backstory and then when they're sitting on the rooftop before their first kiss. Why is that? Thank you!
coldsaturn reblogged
‘Andrew, they want to take me away from here. They want to enroll me in the Witness Protection Program so my father’s people can’t find me. I don’t want—’ he started, but that wasn’t fair. 'If you tell me to leave, I’ll go.’
He didn’t say it would kill him, but he didn’t have to. Andrew hooked his fingers in the collar of Nathaniel’s sweatshirt and tugged just enough for him to feel it. For a moment Nathaniel was months away from this moment, standing in the darkened front hall of Andrew’s house for the first time with a warm key digging into his palm. It felt like coming home, and it was enough to take the edge off his fear.
'You aren’t going anywhere,’ Andrew said: the same words, the same promise.
The King’s Men, Nora Sakavic
coldsaturn reblogged
Anonymous asked:
When does Neil get Andrew off for the first time? How does Andrew take it?
coldsaturn reblogged
Anonymous asked:
What's Neil's fondest memory of Andrew?
coldsaturn reblogged
you’re in love with a knife fight
and his lips taste like gunpowder.
his heart is a battlefield demanding
attention, his mind a dismantled tragedy,
but his love is like the whole world electric
and the sun laid at your feet.
he says: i’ll hurt you,
and kisses you like someone
who hates looking in mirrors.
feral boy loves you with
his claws tucked in. feral boy
loves you without teeth,
dreaming himself a labyrinth
and handing you the sword.
you knew how blood tasted
on your tongue, but never from a fresh
heart. he put it there, palms open,
eyes slivered. this is the most precious
thing you have ever been given.
this is the most precious you have
ever been made to feel.
kiss him so hard your jaw aches. say:i am not afraid of the marks
your hands will leave. touch me.
the bruises from your mouth
are the only ones
i’ve ever welcomed.
when a sad boy loves an angry boy // natalie wee
coldsaturn reblogged
Anonymous asked:
if Neil and Andrew traveled for a getaway together, where would they go?
coldsaturn reblogged
I’ve got nothing left to live for Got no reason yet to die But when I’m standing in the gallows I’ll be staring at the sky Because no matter where they take me Death I will survive And I will never be forgotten With you by my side