7:07 am

shopping bag cats

I think we all need some soup right now. Reblog to give prev a bowl of their favourite soup.

If your apology involves degrading yourself, calling yourself shit or insulting yourself, its not an apology, try again.

Can someone translate this?

Don’t try to guilt people by saying “I’m sorry I fucking suck.” “I’m sorry I’m just the worst and I should die” Because thats not an apology, thats trying to guilt the other person into dropping the subject.

Yup.  That’s called Weaponized Remorse.  Basically, you’re avoiding accountability by blowing up a big Feelings Bomb at the person you hurt and going “let’s not focus on what I did or what I should do to make amends, let’s focus on how awful I feel about it all, and how you should make me feel better.”

It’s really easy to accidentally learn to apologize like this, especially when you have mental health issues that mean you genuinely feel that way about yourself. You aren’t a bad person if this has become a habit, but you can help other people AND yourself by apologizing differently!

Try to focus on your actions rather than your traits:

E.g. “I’m sorry I keep ghosting you, I’m shit at friendships” –> “I’m sorry I keep ghosting you, I’m really struggling to keep up with my friends right now”

Then, if you can, turn the conversation back to the other person - you’re apologising because their feelings matter to you, so show that.

E.g. “I don’t mean to - our friendship means a lit to me, and I know it must make it seem like I don’t care.”

This gives the other person an opportunity to express their own experience so you can talk it over more if they want to, without skipping ahead to reassuring you that the relationship isn’t broken.

If you read the descriptions above and started feeling guilty, it’s fixable! And if you want, you can even apply your new apology skills to apologising for an old apology style

Hieu Minh Nguyen, from “Heavy”

Andrea Gibson, Lord of the Butterflies

a guide on how to enjoy: LEAF 🍂

Project 2025 ain't gonna roll out all at once. So what we're gonna wanna do is make passing each individual part of it as difficult as possible, so there's less to undo once we finally get this country back on the rails.

Resist every step and do not get distracted by stupid bullshit. Distracting people with stupid bullshit is one of Trump's favorite political techniques. We saw it all over the place in the first term.

Trump will say something like "You know the Hispanics actually punch kittens, it's what they do."

And the news will be like "TRUMP SAID HISPANIC PEOPLE PUNCH KITTENS" for three weeks.

And while they're doing that the Republicans in Congress have quietly deleted healthcare.

Do not get distracted by stupid bullshit. Trump is a dancing monkey whose greatest asset is the ability to yank the spotlight off of everyone else. Keep your eyes on Congress.

Kim Addonizio, Like That

Im gonna take a swing at rephrasing this one. If you are not yourself transfeminine but are genuinely worried about "transfem seperatism", the best thing you can do to stop it is to make sure that you and the queer spaces you inhabit are welcoming to transfems- loud transfems, big transfems, kinky transfems, transfems who may not look like what you think they should. Check your biases, notice how many trans women actually stick around and act comfortable in your friend groups or game nights or clubs. Notice how you treat them. Ask yourself if you're holding them to a higher standard and quick to believe they're an aggressor or predator.

If that sounds like too much work or like it's not your problem, then you have no right to complain when we pack our things and leave.

can not believe i am a fully grown adult and many people my age have kids and degrees and serious careers. i can barely make dinner

drinking a beer in a hammock in the sun realizing maybe i don't have to hit myself with hammers every day forever just some or most days

Gonna be fr grown adult queers should know better than to engage in crazy fear mongering telling other people it’s over and we’re all gonna be sent to camps and lose our rights and be criminalized and whatever like hey how about don’t tell a group of people with unbelievably high suicide rates that there’s no hope and life is over

your wip just called. hey man your wip just called. its asking where you've been man.

i’m like if a writer did not write and did other things instead

been sitting on this one for a WHILE