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kamino is a mereel singularity: change my mind

@clonecumber / clonecumber.tumblr.com

Hi! 90% Star Wars fandom blog. 10% chaos.
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love the sailing boat discourse and all but i have to say being on a ship for a prolonged time does change a man and i don't mean in a hardened but wisened sailor kind of way i mean that everytime my brother returns from sea after a few months he has to be reintroduced into society like some sort of feral beast. being on a boat might not give you scurvy but it WILL erode your impulse control and ability to react normally to any situation whatsoever. that's just what months of hard work and inability to leave while the ground moves does to a mf

[ID: Anonymous asked: can you PLEASE elaborate on how coming back from sea makes you feral //end ID]

i have to stress that my brother is usually a calm and collected individual who makes a joke too loudly drunk sometimes but otherwise is pretty unassuming. however, he did his apprenticeship as a ship mechanic during covid, and was genuinely trapped in a container ship’s engine room for six consecutive months. in the first week of coming back, my brother has:

- taken a beer i calmly handed him, slammed it back in one go, and thrown the bottle as far as he could before i could even react

- in general consumed all food with the ferocity and disregard for social custom of a street dog to the dismay of my mother

- responded to a poor mcdonalds worker in a customer service voice said “sorry, busy day today” with “how is that my problem” (i tipped them very well and apologized profusely)

- overall reacted to people making polite conversation with a challenging and provocative tone misplaced in. a fucking grocery store

- developed a habit of random manic laughter, especially while doing things like driving, going on walks or other main land activities

- climbed a wall, a fence, and a silo on three seperate occassions without any warning or announcement

- RIPPED a fucking street post out of the ground and ran home with it.

again, he mostly returns to normal after you rehabilitate him (mostly by taking him shopping and to bars) but its fucking fascinating to witness someone forget about the social contract. and it has been better since they have been allowed to leave the ships in harbour again. but god damn.

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The fact it's canon the Nulls (or at least Kom'rk, Jaing, Prudii, and Mereel might be a special case, but his name pops up too) seem to be the go-to crosstrainers for regular Troopers into specops is actually really funny. They've still got shit to do, probably! They were raised by a man who thinks dragging 8-year-olds into active warzones is great basic training! The solution is obvious! Cue Working Single Parent Null energy. Welcome to your first day, class! Today we will all be going on a field trip! Don't worry if you don't understand something; it will all be covered in the reading you will be doing tomorrow while I'm busy committing a financial felony. Don't ask!!! That will be module whenever-I-next-have-a-reason-to-commit-a-financial-felony. Now let's go perform a political assassination!

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aka-trashrat

Got the RepComm brainrot.

Brothers be like that sometimes... I love how carefree Mereel is next to the giant ball of anxiety that is Ordo.

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ckret2

More How To Manage ADHD

“I never remember to take out the trash until my trash can is full, at which point the trash bag is really heavy and the stuff at the bottom has been rotting a while, and it’s awful!”

Small brain: “Try to train yourself to take out the trash on certain days at certain times.”

Large brain: “Buy a tiny trash can. Now you HAVE to empty it.”

That’s genius!

I just put it in front of my door when it’s full so I am physically unable to leave unless I pick it up.

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feamir

The best advice I’ve ever received about managing my depression/anxiety/adhd is that disability exists in the context of the environment. Accommodations are not about changing yourself to work in your environment — it’s about changing your environment to better work for you.

So yeah, get a tiny trash can and put it by your door. Store your towels in your bathroom so you can immediately change them when they smell funny. Hang a basket by your door for your gloves and earbuds. Leave a box of cliff bars by your door so you never leave without breakfast. Change your environment and change your life!

“Change your environment and change your life”

I learned a long time ago that if I have to remember to pack a fork *every day* for lunch, I end up at work with no fork about 30% of the time.

But if I take an entire 50 count box of forks and put the entire thing in my lunch box? I *always have a fork.*

And I have extra forks for coworkers who forgot to pack a fork, and then I seem SUPER responsible. Lol.

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one of the most important things, perhaps the most important thing I have learned in my life is that nice people can fuck each other up in monstrous ways. people can be bone deep kind and loving and self reflective and still lash out under pressure. people can be earnestly neighbourly and charitable and hospitable and generous and still find themselves in situations where they become selfish. people can be well meaning and easygoing and gregarious and hold deep seated opinions that turn them into vicious little bullies under the right conditions. nobody is just one thing, and nobody stays one way. every person is a kaleidoscope and they will surprise you. you will surprise yourself. it's not a warning and it's not a judgement and it's not an excuse, and it's certainly not a reason to stop trying or to stop trusting. it is just a fact.

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This is not as positive as you think it is

It’s still Rosh Hashanah, and I’m going to post part of those 17 essays I swore I would never write. Starting off the year as I mean to go on? Or something. I originally had this as the first thing on my list of essays that I would never write but would absolutely get me kicked out of Star Wars fandom but I am tired and cranky and I am going to explain why tagging fics where the Jedi Order reform and start allowing attachment as *Jedi Positive* piss me off so much. 

First, let me make this clear. If you hate the Jedi Order and want to write those, go ahead. If you have issues with the Jedi and want to write those fics, go ahead. Nobody is stopping you. What I’m asking instead is to stop tagging them Pro-Jedi or Jedi positive. Use Jedi critical! Or not Jedi friendly! Please use those tags instead! Yes even if you think its Pro-Jedi! If you are saying that the Order needs to reform to be *good* then it is not Jedi friendly!

I mean, look, if you are writing those things then I have issues with the way you’re interrogating the text and will think that you’re *wrong* and also that you’re using some super problematic (and from my point of view, anti-semitic) tropes but if my 21+ years in fandom have taught me anything its that you are never going to get anyone to agree on anything, but tagging will at least allow us to have our own spaces? Like, you wouldn’t have gone into a [pairing of your choice] positive archive and post a fic where [pairing] break up because the one who isn’t your blorbo is abusive so your blorbo runs to *YOUR* OTP, because that wouldn’t fit the theme of the archive! So if your fic is saying that the old rules for the prequel Jedi are bad and need to be changed to be good, don’t put it with Jedi positive content! 

So first. Attachment. Other people have talked about it better than I have, but have some links about what attachment means in the GFFA and no it really does not mean love.

(Listen I am not going to bother to rewrite the meta when Lumi has already done the work for me)

…. Honestly just have the entire attachment tag ok:

So. Having done your reading, for the purposes of the GFFA, attachment is greed/possession and *very very bad* for psychic space monks. It is not a thing that the Jedi can just suddenly *allow*. Letting Jedi start allowing attachments, which is the big thing I start seeing whenever people start *reforming* the Jedi is, to me, a Jew who lives in the US South, the equivalent of Jews for Jesus.

Whoa, TSB, you say. You’re going too far.

Not really. Let’s go with a central belief of Judaism. The messiah has not come, Jesus is not the messiah. For the Jedi, attachment is not allowed is one of the central core beliefs. So saying that the way the Jedi need to reform by changing one of their core beliefs hits me like the person who told me “oh honey, we don’t care how you worship, as long as you accept Christ” did. (Right after I was introduced as being Jewish!) If you’re changing the *core* of who the Jedi are, you’re making them no longer Jedi. It’s not just changing one thing, it’s changing *everything.* 

And, while the Jedi are much more Buddhist then they are Jewish, they still hit me very much in my Jewish feels. Gee, I wonder *why* I could possibly resonate with a minority religious group who were hunted down and murdered and who get accused of a bunch of anti-semitic tropes including baby stealing and secretly running the government???? There are no parallels, clearly.

So look. Every single time I get hit with a fic that’s tagged Pro-Jedi and then its “we changed our rules about attachment and that stopped us from being murdered” what I hear is “the Jews accepted Jesus so we avoided pogroms/The Holocaust.” Or, as another friend pointed out “the Sikhs cut their hair, converted, and so the Mughal Empire let them live.”

Obviously I don’t speak for every Jew, and I certainly don’t speak for any Sikhs, so not everyone is going to agree with my take. But there are people that relate to Jedi and there is a reason why people are uncomfortable with Jedi reform and allowing attachment. 

But if you’re going to write fic about the Prequel Jedi and have them reform, before you tag it pro-Jedi or Jedi-Positive, please consider if “well they have to change who they are to be good” is as positive as you think it is. Tags help people curate their fannish experience. I very much follow the philosophies of YKINMKATO and don’t like, don’t read. The backbutton is my friend! But when I think I’m getting positive fic and then it isn’t? That sucks. Please tag accurately.

…. And well, since I’ve broken my rule about not writing these essays I guess look forward to my future essays of “No the Jedi are not Catholic” and “Actually they don’t have any political power” and “please stop judging the Jedi Order by some middle grade books” and finally “Galidraan was not the Jedi’s fault oh my god Jango shot first” Shana tova, everyone. Let’s try to do better this year.

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