Gosh, River Song’s had a confusing life in Doctor Who. Born in the same episode where she revealed her true self to the Doctor, and (apparently) killing him while simultaneously shooting at her younger self – well, as the Twelfth Doctor commented in tonight’s Christmas special you’d need a flowchart to work it all out.

But luckily you now have that flowchart, as here at RadioTimes.com we’ve put together our best guess for River’s personal timeline. In other words, we’ve mapped out her chronological life from her birth in 2011’s a Good Man Goes to War to her final goodbye in 2013’s The Name of the Doctor, and you can see it all in order below (with recurring episodes colour-coded).

Not included are any off-screen adventures (so sorry, no Jim the Fish) or spin-off media, but apart from that we think it’s pretty complete. We’ve even thrown in a couple of DVD minisodes featuring River (First Night/Last Night) that were originally supposed to cap off her story.

We could chop his head off. Oh, look.