re: the whole "hey chut people are posting icky things on ao3 n I don't like em"
#long story short I am very tired of being a somewhat of an authority figure in the fandom#very tired of all the unpleasant discourse happening in here lately#tired of all the righteousness and not being allowed to have 'wrong opinions'#tired.#feeling a little moody about this today for some reason and I apologise!#cjd rambles#I'm just... very tired of what the fandom has become#someone pointed out to me yesterday that it's been ten years since my first fic was published#that got me thinking of what I wanted back then vs where I am now#and I think I just don't want to be that person in the fandom whose opinion somehow matters more than others'#or the person who needs to say the right things (impossible) or else they get a flood of anons telling how wrong they are#(which happens whatever I say)#honestly wishing at times I could just start over and be a Nobody#or delete my tumblr! just concentrate on writinf#at the same time I appreciate the good parts of the fandom and tumblr is my only way of communicating with it between the publishing breaks#idk. we'll see.#anyway thank you for listening and I hope you guys understand!#if you feel like getting somehow offended by this: please don't send me asks.#I'm tired.#thank you!#feeling cute might delete later#this all is a shortened summary of what I sent to puck as an essay length and just for the record: she gets it#❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ forever loving you love ❤️#mclennon