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𝖈𝖍𝖚𝖗𝖑𝖋𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖉

@churlfriend / churlfriend.tumblr.com

Andy, 28, he/him
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reblogged
tache-noire
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filmnoirsbian
Anonymous asked:

as a lesbian my shameful crush is tom cruise. i think it's mostly a competency thing tbh. and i think he'd be a calming presence during a crisis

filmnoirsbian answered:

Tom Cruise? Calming? You think Tom Cruise would be calming? A calming presence? Tom Cruise? Competency? You think Tom Cruise is competent? Tom? Tom Cruise? Calming? During a crisis? Calming? Tom Cruise? A calming? Presence? Tom Cruise? You think during a crisis Tom Cruise would calm you down? Tom? Tom Cruise?

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#favorite
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reblogged
sparksfitz
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chestnutroan

had a dream where Tom Scott was covering a centuries old wormhole distorting the spacetime of some inn in bumfuck england. the wormhole ate him and grew larger and larger before consuming the entire country

#art
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socksual-innuendos
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pissvortex

A lot of people are posting about how expensive clothes, for example, are going to get if Trump goes through with tariffs, but other people are perhaps correctly identifying that our economy cannot handle producing clothes at wages American workers will accept. What’s more likely at this point is that we are just going to massively ramp up incarceration to ensure prison slave labor keeps clothing cheap. When Trump talks about “mass deportation,” expect him to create an entire incarcerated labor force with millions more people rather than actually deport anyone from the country.

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reblogged
fallout-lou-begas
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lordoftablecloths

my favorite video of all time ever

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miiilowo

Whaght are zey doing tu zis poor rat- [gasp] zat is PERVERGHTED ! ... WHAGHT ARE ZEY FILLING HIM WITZH? EE IZ GETTING TOO BIG! HOOOOHHHH...! OH MY GAHD STOP TOUCHING IM ! ZHIS IZ PERVERT BEHAVIOURE! HOOH! STOP IT! AUUW..... WHAT A TERRIBLE DEATH! SsTOP TOUCHING HEIM !

zis is like a medeval TOGHRTURE.

whathellwas even zat . OOOOO MY GAD. oh it- preetty cuute. OOOHHOOHOOHHOGGOOOHHHH OH MY GADDD THGAT WAS VEURY SCHARMING... OOH my gad he is DEAaaadddd... ohhh not ze daaaawwwg... ooooohhh nnooo you are feeling him wiz ze wader of ze hose...he iz also veury shcarming zey look veury cute like zis...i wont liiieee to yoU !

OH!

EWWELIKE A LAMBB...

S̵̝̞͆͘T̸̜̕O̷͂͛͜P̸̰̲̎ ̶͙͛T̶̖̲́̀Õ̸̥͉̒Ṷ̷́C̵͙͊͒H̴̪̩̊̕I̸̮̓̚N̸͍͙͗G̵͚͝ ̷̳̔̃H̴͍̉͌I̷̝͐M̷̔ͅ.̴̨̈.

FRRREAK.

MONSTAEUR

AAUOOUGGGHHH ZIS POOR ANEMAL. OOOOOOG

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reblogged
americanhellkmart
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prokopetz
  1. The author's poorly disguised fetish
  2. The author's proudly displayed fetish
  3. The author's fetish you're pretty sure they don't realise they have
  4. The author's fetish which they're firmly convinced everyone has and is just pretending otherwise
  5. The author's non-sexual special interest which just sounds like a fetish because of their habitually unfortunate phrasing
  6. The fetish the author is making a well-meaning effort to cater to in spite of clearly not understanding it themselves
  7. The author's fetish that never quite makes it into the text because they keep getting sidetracked by the requisite worldbuilding
  8. The author's utterly pedestrian sexual preference which the text treats like a bizarre fetish because they've got shit to work through
  9. The author's seemingly innocuous recurring trope they're going to have a personal revelation about ten years down the road
  10. The author's fetish you missed on a first reading because it's so far out of pocket, it never occurred to you that you could sexualise that
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