chronicsheepdeprivation reblogged
egg yolk constellation series blind box (pop mart)
chronicsheepdeprivation reblogged
the signs as outdated memes
aries: surprise bitch
taurus: sure jan
gemini: cole sprouse's social experiment
cancer: what is air
leo: the 'you tried' star
virgo: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
libra: ......slime man
scorpio: bitch i might be
sagittarius: iggy azalea freestyle
capricorn: selfie olympics
aquarius: the skeleton war
pisces: doge
chronicsheepdeprivation reblogged
The Signs as Shit my Urban Legends Professor said this Quarter
Aquarius: "so is it always this hot here or can I expect the levels of absolute utter hell to tone down a bit next month"
Pisces: "we're talking 'Fast Food Ghosts' today so if you enjoy your McChickenwhatsits and your fake-ass Coke-knock-off Pepsi then I'm sorry"
Aries: "do you think if I stood outside the studio and cried long enough the history channel would give me the "Ancient Aliens" guy's job"
Scorpio: "don't be Bob the Dead Guy over here ok just- look just don't do what Bob the Dead Guy did"
Leo: "unlike the rest of the department here, a) I am a wonderful human being and b) I am not, in fact, a dick"
Capricorn: "somebody just told me there's a campus legend about a vanishing hitchhiker and I'm here to say in my professional opinion: that's sick as fuck"
Gemini: "I'd tell you why you're wrong but clearly neither of us got into Harvard so I'm calling a truce where we both just shut up and move on"
Cancer: "that damn ghost is obviously hiding my keys from me like the sneaky bastard he is"
Taurus: "my dissertation was on UFOs and yes the job market is a little thin there and no I will not tell you if they exist. you have to EARN THAT RIGHT."
Virgo: "people need to make sense of the world around them and sometimes all they need for that is aliens so I mean who am I to judge"
Sagittarius: "'Ghost Adventurers' is great because you have one guy freaking out about moths and the other guy is like 'oh shit dude I choked on my granola bar' and I don't know which is scarier"
Libra: "I might be a germophobe but at least I'll be the last one standing when you suckers start hacking up lungs"
chronicsheepdeprivation reblogged
The signs as "history of japan" quotes
aries: in the year -1,000,000,000 japan might not've been here
taurus: it's time for [who's gonna be the next shogun] [vote now on your phones]
gemini: [and now i'm going to invade korea, and then hopefully china], he said, and failed. and also died *boom*
cancer: [h i r e a s a m u r a i]
leo: [it's time for w o r l d w a r 1]
virgo: how about s u n r i s e l a n d ?
libra: knock knock. it's Europe, they just want to sell some shit, like clocks, and guns, and [j e s u s]
scorpio: [g o o d f r i e n d s], [t h e i r f r i e n d s a n d o u r f r i e n d s a r e n o t f r i e n d s] , [plustheyreplanningon i n v a d i n g thewhole o c e a n]
sagg: h o w b o u t i d o , a n y w a y
capricorn: knock knock. it's the United States. with huge boats (with guns) (gunboats)
aquarius: [n o w t h e r e ' s m o r e a r t]
fishies: [b y e]
Source: youtube.com