dont talk to me or my typos every again

what we really need is a swemoenomenon . swifties and emos have to join forces to take down ticketmaster

swifties grab ur friendship bracelets. emos grab ur eyeliner

does everyone like my awesome post

#does anyone have contact with the kpop fans #we may need more forces

kpop fans grab your... idk enough about kpop to have a good joke. i know one bands fandom is called army though so uh kpop fans grab your. guns

getting blazed as fuck in public, thinking "boy I sure hope no one knows how high I am right now", and then having the jumpscare of your life when duolingo gives you this notification

she touch my yippee till i yay

Captain America and Superman are Jewish responses to the Nazi idea of the ubermensch that ask different, but equally compelling questions in response to it. Captain America asks "what if the ubermensch was real, and he loved Jews?" and Superman asks "what if the ubermensch was real, and he was a Jew?"

And the Jew in question is Bucky Barnes

the question Bucky's character asks is "what if the ubermensch was gay, and he railed me?" this is a third, equally important, question

Honestly devastated to see people reblogging the original post, which was a set up for this gag, without the punchline.

Was just diagnosed with “need to bite you” disorder. Yeah sorry it’s terminal. The only cure is biting you. C’mere.

Mommy's going to obliterate your cervix. Mommy's going to blow your cunt up with hammers

#evilblr #evildom #killer #villain #evilpussy

tbh the worst part of being asexual, for me at least, is that thinking about gay sex doesn't even help things

for me it's literally just like

for full context

I’d hold out for a third and finally successful assassination attempt, but the idea of a jd Vance pregnancy does not make me feel any better

In my defense it was 4 am and the words rhymed

"Centipedes don't fuck" is one of my favorite animal facts. There are plenty of sexually reproducing animals that don't fuck per se (like a lot of fish) but centipedes don't even meet. Males just leave sperm packets lying on the fucking ground and females pick them up and take them home. They don't even hang out

Things going well is pretty nice and all but by god does it decimate your excuses. You'll be sleepy at work and be like "by god, I'm not even besieged by the horrors currently. I just need to go to bed earlier."

Everything abt this