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#ob my god yesssssss – @cherrywade on Tumblr
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Oh you dirty bitch!

@cherrywade / cherrywade.tumblr.com

Murphy | 31 | Ace / Bi | Nonbinary | White | Pronouns She / They | 18+ Content: MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED | In the words of the great Howard Moon, I'M A GAY! I'M A MASSIVE GAYIST!
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In my mind, Robin has to tag along on most of Steve's hangouts with Eddie. Eddie thinks it's a SteveandRobin thing but really it's because she's the only line of defense between Eddie and Steve.

She just keeps telling Eddie that he should be grateful. He doesn't get it but whatever.

The actual problem?

If Eddie does anything in the vicinity of Steve that's funny or sweet or, even more dangerous, is really nice and attentive to any random child, Steve suddenly gets a look in his eye that means Casual Hangs Can Include a Marriage License, Right?

On Halloween, helping Steve give out candy, Eddie made a little girls night when he saw she was dressed as a princess and actually bowed and once she and her dad were gone Steve put down the bowl and casually said, "After this we need to swing by City Hall real quick."

Thankfully Robin was there to spray him with a water bottle and throw a full sized Milky Way at his head.

Meanwhile Eddie's standing in the background confused as hell wondering why Steve keeps suggesting bureaucracy as a fun activity and why Robin and Steve are whisper-yelling at once another in the kitchen like it's not even legal and you haven't even asked him out yet! and I'm wooing him, Robin, where's your sense of romance? When you know you know! Did you see how he is with kids? And that's quitter talk honestly Robin, I'll break City Hall's doors down and you can sign the papers it can't be that hard.

Eddie really doesn't understand how lucky he is.

After Steve does finally ask him out (and promptly pins him to a wall because Eddie's flustered blushing was too much to handle) Robin's job becomes twice as difficult.

On multiple occasions she's had to stop Steve from stealing Eddie's rings right off his fingers when he falls asleep on the couch during moving night because it's only been three dates and you're not allowed to figure out his ring size yet Stephen are you kidding me.

I honestly, truly doubt that Eddie has any idea what's happening until well into this schtick.

They'd all be out together when the three of them bump into a sobbing child. Before Steve can even go into Parent Mode, Eddie is already kneeling and saying, "What is this I see! A fair knight lost in this treacherous world?"

The kid will blink, wipe his face, and tremble out, "I can't find mommy."

"Perhaps this humble jester can assist!" says Eddie, standing up and offering a hand. "Tell me, Sir..." he drops his voice to whisper, "what's your name?"

"Caleb..."

"Sir Caleb, then! What dost thou mother look like?"

Five minutes later, mother and son are reunited, the mother giving Eddie a hug for good measure.

Eddie isn't there to watch Steve grabbing a ring pop from the candy aisle, ripping the package open with his teeth, and stomping towards Eddie with the speed of a Very Done Jock.

He isn't there to watch Robin jump on Steve's back like a feral monkey, either.

He only turns around when a supermarket employee has to tentatively walk over to ask that Robin stop assaulting Steve and for Steve to stop shouting I FOUGHT MONSTERS IN A GOOEY HELLSCAPE IF I WANT TO PUT A RING ON IT I'LL PUT A RING ON IT, ROBIN.

YOU'RE NOT EVEN DATING, is all Robin shouts back, ignoring the terrified employee to latch her body to Steve's feet and refuse to let go.

Eddie has zero clue what any of it means, especially when Robin tells him he should be thankful after two out of the three of them are oh so nicely escorted from the store.

Bonus if he accepts the ring pop from Steve after it's shoved into his hand. This is because he likes candy, not because of the implication behind it.

Too bad for him though because Steve decides it's good enough to count as a binding contract like some kind of off brand sporting goods Rumpelstiltskin and he will be collecting thank you very much.

@cherrywade you are right and correct and you should scream it from the rooftops

Steve absolutely skipped right over everything. And if he did go through Gay Panic, then it was a five minute experience that Robin witnessed with her jaw on the ground.

Probably in the middle of Family Video with Steve holding a Star Wars VHS in his hand asking her "what's it called when you like both Leia and Han Solo?"

When she says "bisexual?" he stares at the tape, makes a series of complicated facial expressions, nods, and then turns and walks towards the door.

Robin at least has the good sense to stumble after him and shriek, "where are you going!?"

She wouldn't be prepared for his answer. Which would probably be something like;

"I need to tell Eddie I'm a bicycle and that I'm going to marry him. Do you think we can still go ring shopping if we can't get married? By the way I'm taking my fifteen minutes."

And thus began Robin's trip through the Hell that was Steve's complete and total self acceptance and his quest to Marry The Pathetic Nerd No Matter What.

#ob my god YESSSSSSS#she's basically his backpack any time eddie is near after that and its so confusing to people#but eddie just accepts their weirdness which just makes steve love him MORE cuz anyone he loves needs to love robin too#and eddie does. he loves them both. just gives little fond smiles and encourages their odd behavior#gives people weird explanations that make robin laugh so hard she snorts sometimes#i do feel like their behavior is what would lead to eddie finally finding out#like maybe robin shows up one day with a black eye. she's not mad. just exasperated. and steve seems sheepish. so after steve takes robin#home. eddie finally asks whats up. like. explains that he HAS noticed the behavior. he just loves them and didnt wanna question it.#but robbys got a black eye and steves been a LEETLE distant the last few days and steve just sighs#and words vomits all over eddie about how he's a fucking bicycle. and he cant take how cute eddie is. and how sweet he is with kids.#and just how GOOD he is. and his SMILE?? fucking UGH. forget about it. Steve's a freak. who's planning their wedding.#and hasnt even asked eddie out yet. because robin has been physically holding him back so he doesn't make a FOOL of himself#which he HAS now. fucks SAKE. and his head is in his hands and eddie is gaping like a fish his cheeks very very red#because while that was excessively confusing. he's pretty sure he got most of it. but his stupid. apparently very PRETTY. mouth supplies#'you're a...bicycle?' and he's chewing on his thumb nail his brows all frowny and steve looks up at him. sees the pretty blush. and is like#yeah. i like both. a bicycle. and eddie snorts and honest to god fucking giggles the word 'bisexual?' and steve takes a second. nods.#and is like 'sure. that. whatever. i just like you okay? you fucking cute as shit and its bad for my health. and now robins health too!'#and eddie just nods and nods but his cheeks keep getting redder and redder and steve flies through the realization and snaps and points at#eddie. making him jump and he's like 'oh! you like me too!' and then quieter 'holy shit you like me too.' and eddie just covers his face now#and hums 'mhhmmm' and nods and FUCK THATS CUTE. and steve DOES NOT jump him. though he really wants too#but he does hold Eddie's hand all way back to the trailer where he drags himside so he can kiss him. and they can talk.#maybe about dating. maybe about marriage. steve will see. his impulse control is home with a black eye.#and Eddie's seems to be only controlled by how red steve can make him. steve is pretty sure it's gonna be marriage.#he'll ask wayne for Eddie's hand in the morning and they'll live happily ever after#he does mention it to wayne and eddie full on fucking SQUEAKS into his toast. wayne just laughs and poors another cup of coffee.#THANK YOU!!! AND A GIFT FOR YOU IN THE TAGS AGAIN!#steddie#steddie in the tags#oh gosh thats me
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