i don't like john mulaney because he invited dave chappelle on stage with him after deeply praising him at the height of the transphobic controversy around him after his netflix special but i cant say stuff like hope he dies lest people think i'm in the camp of people that hate him because he got a divorce for some reason

there was that one post going around like "why aren't you surprised? he SAID he was a bad person! he did crack and went to parties!" like actually no he said he was a bad person when he mentioned he used to write for SNL

"use chatgpt" that's the devil talking. buy four caffeinated drinks and pull an all nighter. this is the way.

i may lose 5% for a late submission, but at least no one can deny that i wrote it with my own tits i mean brain

I just got described as an "ad hating commie" by someone because I said a minute of youtube ads is unpleasant. fully spent 5 minutes arguing and defending youtube ads. insane stuff

reblog if you are an ad hating commie

Where's that tweet about people still living long fulfilling lives even through the fall of the roman empire because I think about it constantly

Cuddling. don’t mind the claws of the beast

This is what this photo looks like. To me

We are a very very dumb, stupid people

Everyone deserves a little outlet today, grab a yummy snack, skirt a responsibility, play a cozy game - but no one is allowed to punish themselves on behalf of other’s ignorance. No one is allowed to keel over. Be a thorn in their side every day, and most importantly, be your own advocator. We live in spite of these people.

so. bad news. we have to keep going tomorrow. good news is that I’ll keep going with you

helpful tattoo reminder: they are technically Injuries so u have to eat a lot of calories drink a lot of water and sleep a lot after so your body can Heal The Injury

another helpful tattoo reminder: the 24-48 hours after you get a tattoo your brain can not be trusted in regards to whether or not you should have gotten that tattoo, if you have somehow ruined your life, if it turned out ugly, etc. ignore that

finally, while i am at it: always bring a candy bar and a sugary drink to your appointment for blood-sugar reasons (worst case scenario) or so you can have a treat (unilaterally applicable)

this has been your friendly neighborhood haver of 19* tattoos (assorted sizes and placements)

*not totally sure here. bad at counting

sometimes i think about the night destiel went canon and how everyone on the internet, whether they were in the fandom or not, just went down the line shaking hands like good game good game. that's the closest we'll ever get to world peace

watching death note with my family and after the college entrance episode my mom asked offhandedly if anyone had ever pictured L and light as a couple before. it felt like one single white dove had landed on a crystalline lake in a beautiful pure clearing. no i dont think anyones ever thought of that before

having a threesome is NOT about sexual attraction. it's about recreating and critiquing the nuclear family unit through a post structuralist lens

This is my first animation

their name is Wibbly None-the-Wiser

i love when flowers close in the evening like good night girl i love you sleep tight

#HELLO IT IS TIME FOR MY FAVORITE FACT#which is that sometimes when the flowers close there is a little bee inside#spending the night all cozy and safe in his little nook#specifically male squash bees do this in squash flowers#look at a field of squash or pumpkins at night and there are little guys snoozing in there#this knowledge brings me such joy that i must share it with the world (tags via @scribefindegil)

I dunno man. I found out today that a subway sandwich is $14 now. A shitty subway footlong sandwich that isn't actually 12 inches long and is occasionally made with expired ingredients and was never a great option to start with. I ate those in high school because I was broke and at the mall a lot.

There are poke bowls in my city from a local place for $16. Super fresh fish and veg, warm rice, more than I can eat in one sitting, for the price of a sandwich and a drink at america's most mid-tier sandwich shop.

Someone in another post said (paraphrased) you used to be able to get something mediocre for cheap, but now the mediocre things cost as much as the nice things so why would you?