Cheloneuniverse

my dnd party has run into an npc who may or may not be evil and may or may not decide to betray us and the dm was in chat today like “just so everyone knows…not addressing this comment at anyone in particular…his favorite colors are red and black…wink” so now i’m desperately trying to get a real physical friendship bracelet done before session tomorrow in the vain hope that i can somehow stop this npc from trying to do a murder on my party

UPDATE: the npc was in fact a shapechanged adult black dragon with violence and conquest in his heart. however he did let merry put a friendship bracelet on him and then when she was like “hm okay how big is your wrist in dragon form” he was like “you wanna see?” and then turned into a dragon and let merry measure him for a second, dragon-sized friendship bracelet. the dm described him afterwards as being deeply confused as to why he did this or let any of this happen to him. call that the merry effect

this guy is now a recurring npc because merry was SO determined to make him her friend that it actually somehow worked. he cast dream to talk to one of my party members like “hey…how’s it going…how are the tieflings in the party…not that i care…also i’m not lonely. bye” and the player was like “is he still wearing merry’s friendship bracelet in this dream” and the dm was like “yeah…”

fsdfjhskdf the dm just sent us all this image

#dungeons and dragons #friendship is magic #DND

so merry taught naeric (the dragon) the power of love, obviously, and because his heart was open and beautiful he started dating…a SECOND evil dragon. and then that gf betrayed him and cast ninth level imprisonment on him so now naeric is our damsel in distress and we have to save him from his girlfriend, the actual villain. how the turntables…

and. in the most horrible plot twist of all. the gf stole his friendship bracelet.

queerical

[ID: meme of a child holding a white cat. several more children surround them, petting the cat and taking pictures. white text over the child holding the cat reads, My Players. white text over the cat has been crossed out with black scribbles and below that more text reads, The NPC I actually intended to be a super serious villain /END ID]

cheloneuniverse reblogged

So I recently just noticed something in Homeland that has me realizing some things concerning how the Do’Urden family has been functioning and the timeline thereof.

So, it’s stated that Nalfein is Rizzen’s son…but also Nalfein was born before Malice became the Matron Mother…because they say when Malice’s mother died and she ascended to Matron that Briza and Nalfein became nobles. It’s also not stated exactly which was born first and that it’s possible Nalfein could have been her first child.

…but it’s also stated that Zaknafein became Malice’s patron…and both of the children he fathered are younger then Briza and Nalfein.

What this means is that Malice was involved seriously with Rizzen longer then Zaknafein. He wasn’t just Zak’s replacement. She was involved with Rizzen enough to have a son that he fathered before she became the Matron Mother, then when she became Matron she made Zak her patron…but then later traded out Zak for Rizzen again…even though she easily could have just picked someone new.

She was less then 100 when she became Matron and over 500 when she died which means she spent more then 400 years with the guy…and while I can get why she’d continue to want to periodically be with Zak on the side, even outside of any emotional attachments(god forbid). Zak is a skilled fighter and any offspring he had would be likely to inherit something from that. Same reason why Malice slept with Uthegentel. Good genetics.

But Rizzen was always described as being good looking but otherwise common with no notable special skills.

This implies some things and also…makes what ultimately happened to him later even worse then it already was.

Yeah, Rizzen seems to be her going steady option for like… most of her life. She was already Matron (although relatively recently) when she acquired Zaknafein, so it’s not even a “oh I’m Matron now, better name an official consort” thing. And Briza and Nalfein were both adults (or at least, adolescents in adult roles, thanks Menzoberranyr norms) by the time Zak was in the picture? The “old enough to be your parent” thing carries less of an ick factor for people whose adult lifespan - and reproductive lifespan - is so long, but I think it does cast some of the interactions in House Do'Urden in a different light that Malice’s two older kids are very much Zak’s peers.

There’s also a few mentions of her having had relatively short-lived consorts who she killed once she got tired of them… I think the pattern might be more that she demoted Rizzen once in a while just to remind him she can, and either picked up a disposable boytoy for a few years, or took the opportunity to make Zak deal with something outside his military duties for a while. (We’re never really told in any detail what the day to day duties of a House Patron are beyond being the Matron Mother’s sexual partner, but if it’s analogous to being the lady of the house in patriarchal societies, there might be an aspect of household management to it? Which I feel like Zak would fucking hate, please let him go back to his swords.)

This also means there’s more flexibility to when Zak’s tenure as Patron was, if Malice was swapping Rizzen out for shits and giggles - my personal theory is that it might have been during Vierna’s childhood, to keep him distracted and frustrated with extra duties he’s not good at and limit his access to her even further.

I get more of a feeling that Malice wasn’t switching Rizzen out of being patron so much as just…seeing people on the side despite him being her patron. Zak certainly wasn’t patron when she conceived Drizzt. Given that she refers to Zak as Rizzen’s rival…I imagine she wasn’t above letting him know when she was seeking other company and how he generally felt about it.

And I think that, not only was Zak likely not great at maintaining the day to day workings of the House (because I agree that that’s likely what their primary function was, kinda like a headwoman in a Weyr…if you’re familiar with Pern at all, if not basically someone in charge of running the domestic responsibilities of the House. There’s some proof to this during the ceremony where Malice requestes Zin-Carla because Dinin is left to organize everything and is worried because usually Rizzen would be there to help…but he had been missing and that meant Dinin was soley responsible for everything running smoothly instead.) but he was simply not subservient enough, and a bit too prone to blasphemy, to be kept in the position of Patron. A good lay…and good with soldiers but…not husband material.

Oh yeah Malice was definitely sleeping with people on the side, and sleeping with both Zak and Rizzen regularly. Pretty sure in Generations there’s implications that she sleeps with women, too? She’s a high-ranking noblewoman, as far as drow society is concerned who she’s having sex with is her own business. I just think it’s not out of the question that Malice occasionally stripped Rizzen of his rank for a while when he started getting a little too full of himself for her tastes. She doesn’t keep him around for him to get an attitude, after all - she gets that dynamic from Zak. Rizzen seems to be appealing to her mostly in that he’s pretty and accommodating.

But yeah Zak would be super bad at being Patron if we’re assuming that involves managing the household. Can you imagine him doing menu planning? It’s the worst. He hates it here. He always hates it here but he extra hates it here now.

…now I have mental images of Rizzen planning out every detail of every elaborate ceremony they do…

…and Zak is that type of guy who gets asked to do chores he doesn’t like and does it bad on purpose so they never ask him again lol

Honestly I like the idea that Rizzen was really good at this stuff? It’s just like… not a skill set that Malice particularly thought about or noticed. Having a well-managed household isn’t something that impresses people unless you’re entertaining guests, and Malice didn’t ever bother with diplomacy or social maneuvering. So Rizzen’s skill was mostly invisible to her. She’d only notice if things went wrong.

Meanwhile when Zak had to do it things tended to go wrong, because yeah, what he didn’t do badly on accident he’d totally fuck up on purpose.

Well, actually I would think she would know that Rizzen was good at it…not having to worry about it unless something goes wrong means it’s being done well. Maybe she didn’t appreciate that until Zak proved that he was…uh…not so good at it.

I would think Malice would be all about social maneuvering actually…I think being the Matron of a house is extremely political, but also not having to worry about the domestic issues would allow her to focus her efforts better on that front. She knows everything under her is being done as it should be in ways she likes and that frees her to focus on her…social maneuvering. The kitchens are being kept stocked, funds are being kept track of, religious preparations are being taken care of, holidays are being planned for. All without her direct need to intervene. Rizzen knows how she prefers things and is loyal and submissive enough to want to do it that way. No, he may not be a great warrior or wizard…but he still has skills worth holding onto that she wouldn’t seek to get rid of him for that long.

Of course she can’t have the credit for that fall on anyone but herself…it’s all a success because of her and her decisions. She chose Rizzen after all so ultimately…all of the credit would still go to her.

Being Matron Mother is extremely political, but I see no evidence that Malice was ever… good at politics? She advanced her House significantly over her lifetime, but her victories seem to be mostly military. I don’t think we ever see her take a meeting with a peer that wasn’t arranged and mandated by a higher authority. As far as I can tell, she neither hosts nor attends social functions, and neither do any of her family. Her cutthroat style might have worked in the middle nobility, but you can’t act like that in the ruling class. Even if she hadn’t dramatically self-destructed immediately, I don’t think she would have lasted long on the council, because you need alliances to maintain that kind of power and Malice doesn’t seem to build that kind of relationship.

Having a competent and skilled Patron running her House would definitely make Malice’s life easier, and I think she’d recognize that, but it’s not the kind of thing that she could show off to anyone else because no one worth showing off to ever seems to visit House Do'Urden.

Well yeah but also we only really get to see 30 years of it, mostly from the perspective of someone not privy to any of it, out of 500. So…it’s debatable *shrugs*

One could say that violently removing all competition until you reach your desired rank is still a valid form of social political movement…especially in Drow society. How well it would have worked in the long run after reaching the ruling council is impossible to tell since she only fell because of Drizzt causing her to lose Lloth favor.

Edit: I suppose it also depends on if one considers the short story written by Mark Anthony in the Realms of the Underdark book to be canon or not. Malice is shown to receive guests…but not that she particularly enjoys it.