Holy Hooligan

i'm a writer irl (can't say who because my agent would put me into a blender and press go) and honestly the funniest and most humiliating incident of my life was the time my finished manuscript triggered a plagiarism flag with the publisher for two lines of prose in my literary fiction novel...

.... which was word for word similar to a paragraph in a certain explicit work on FFN starring elrond and his batsman from the hobbit films, aka that one elf that looked like he ate panic attacks for breakfast (i forget his name but it's Figwit II) where the lord of imladris bends said twink over his writing desk and gives him the battering ram treatment.

and if you think i had to sit in front of one if the biggest publishing companies in the world and admit that it was, in fact, me who wrote the fic where the lord of imladris bends said twink over his writing desk and gives him the battering ram treatment in order to avoid being wrongly flagged for plagiarism, you would be absolutely correct.

(yes they published the book)

This takes a lot of courage in a lot of important ways good job OP

Do you think Lieve'tel ever actually dates or does she just wait for Vox Machina to bring hot older guys to her door

Couldn’t get over “the ancient Egyptian site of Philadelphia” so I looked up the origin of the name of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania to see if it was developed independently or named after that Ptolemic Egyptian city, because “the city of brotherly love” didn’t seems like a particularly Egyptian or Ptolemaic value but who knows

Anyway it was a secret third thing: Philadelphia PA was named after a Hellenic Turkish city.

The Turkish city of Philadelphia was named after the king Attalus II Philadelphus, who according to ancient historians earned the title Philadelphus “he who loves his brother” because of his loyalty to his older brother the king during his reign. Attalus II was the army commander under his brother’s reign and he rejected his army’s proposal to stage a coup and make him king, and when his brother was reported dead in foreign battle, Attalus II married his brother’s widow Stratonice and ascended to the throne—and when it turned out his brother was alive, Attalus divorced Stratonice and ceded the throne to his brother again without a challenge.

For his loyalty he earned the title Philadelphus which he carried on after his brother died and he became king.

Philadelphia in Egypt was named after a completely different guy, pharaoh Ptolemy II Philadelphus, and, well,

“They call me Philadelphus because of my loyalty and duty and my refusal to take the throne from my brother until it was my rightful and natural time. They call you Philadelphus because you married your sister. We are not the same”

ppl will post butch positivity with like 5 allusions to transmasculitity (binding, t, top surgery, etc) and 0 mentions of transfem butches

i love you butches on estrogen! i love you butches who feel caught between expressing yourself as a woman and as a butch because of transmisogyny! i love you butches who want/have bottom surgery! i love you butches who don’t! i love you butches who feel like butch is your gender and i love you butches who feel like butch is your sexuality!

i love you transfem butches! i love you trans women butches! i love you butches!

Websites referring to letters on alphabets and languages other than English (ç, ì, ü, etc.) as "special characters" and stopping us from using it on our names is cultural colonialism I think

SO MUCH THIS

Also: it’s because in literally 5 minutes I did this

Jesse Dornfled is ~36 years old and lives in St. Paul Minnesota. I know his phone number and all of his previous addresses for the past 11 years. I know what high school he went to. Just because he used his real name

Used Conte loved conte

I will never understand the hate for grey hairs. Your hair has sliver in it now. You have the color of stars on your hair. You have proof you survived and grew up. You have proof you are living. How is any of this bad?

he can't stop thinking about that damn pink skin 🙂‍↔️

Teacher to me (photographer): this is Mohammed.

Me: and last name?

Teacher: -shrug- his name is Mohammed, hes the only Mohammed at this school.

Mohammed: -is in preschool, doesnt know his last name-

Me: -looks up Mohammed in system- Nadir?

Teacher: sure, yeah. Sounds right.

Me: this will come back to bite me later.

After merging my camera data with another photographer: there's two Mohammed Nadirs. -goes to talk it out with secretary-

Me: -shows two photos- which of these kids is Mohammed?

Secretary: -points to the one I did not shoot- that's Mohammed.

Me: I was told this one was Mohammed. -points to my student-

Secretary: well, theres only one Mohammed.

Secretary takes me to the break room to chat with two teachers.

Me: can one of you tell me which one is Mohammed?

Teacher A points to my student.

Teacher B points to not my student.

Both: that's Mohammed.

Teacher B says that her Mohammed is in her class and is definitely Mohammed Nadir.

Me: so who is Mystery Mohammed?

Teachers Aide walks by: who are you trying to find?

Me: -turns laptop around- can you identify this child?

Teachers Aide: oh! That's Mohammed!

So theres two Mohammeds. Secretary cant find data for Mystery Mohammed. No one can find his name. All we know is he's in preschool.

Me: okay! Can you direct me to the teacher?

Teachers Aide: sure.

I have my laptop open to the photo as I'm walking down the hall, updating data as we go looking for this kid. Checking hairstyles and clothes in vase we see him in the hall. Buffalo check shirt. Hi-top fade. Secretary is freaking out a little that she lost all data for entire student.

We pass the library.

A class is exiting.

I see the buffalo check shirt. I see the hi-top fade. Kid is wearing a mask.

Teachers aide taps him.

Me: is this you?

Child: no, that's Mohammed.

Identical child is Mohammed's cousin. They dressed alike for picture day because their mothers thought it would be cute.

Cousin: I dont know his last name. His mom never told me.

Teachers aide leads me to classroom where we see...

MOHAMMED!

Me: Hi, hello Mrs preschool teacher. I need to know the name of this child-

Teacher: that's Moham-

Me: Mohammed, yes. We gathered. What's his LAST name?

Teacher:

Teacher: Mohammed, what's your last name?

Mohammed: -stares at the wall, then points to a picture of a duck-

Teacher: his last name is not 'duck.' I'll go look it up for you.

Five minutes later and the reason we couldn't find his name was because he spells it MUHammad. All of this because the teacher swore he was the only kid in the school with the most common name in the world.

End scene, exit left pursued by a migraine.

Holy fucking shit of all the possibilities I did not see that one coming.

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Imagine romanticizing the grind when you live in a universe that has a large expanse of grasslands and colorful endemic birds

The last night of summer

I think it's cute how so many art movements are simply called "new art" to differentiate "not like the old stuff". Contemporary dance. New wave fashion. Pop (literally popular) music. Art Nouveau. Modernism. Postmodernism. Even terms starting with neo- (neo-classicism, neo-expressionism) all are just saying NEW ART. And yet all of these things are now distinctive styles of the past. It's kind of beautiful how humanity never stops outgrowing itself. Art is a state of matter that refuses to sit still, old as soon as it is new, original upon its thousandth performance, new forever so long as there is someone who has not yet seen it, and old the second the artist picks up their instrument again.

New new NEW art (14)(THIS ONE!).docx