cheekblush reblogged
hmm I think I will simply devote this year to loving myself more
cheekblush reblogged
i cannot hate myself into a version of me i will love.
i cannot punish myself in any way that will unmake the past.
just had a REALIZATION while dancing to old school rnb music in my room: i am beautiful, i am intelligent, i am funny, thoughtful, kindhearted and witty, i am capable of anything i put my mind to and i can’t believe i let some stupid bitches at work make me feel anything less than that!
#fuck them for real!!!!#like absolutely don’t deserve they way i’ve been treated at work but i need to come to terms with the fact that i’ll never get an apology#or some kind of justice i just need to make peace with the fact that i would never stoop to such a low level and i would never treat others#like that no matter how much i dislike them#i know in my heart that i didn’t do anything to warrant such mistreatment and that my conscience is clear#i wish i wouldn’t have let this whole ordeal affect me so much in the first place bc it really caused me so much hurt and sorrow#but i JUST realized i’m a good person who deserves good things and i can’t let they way others treat me define how i see and treat myself!#them being who they are is already their biggest punishment i don’t need closure from them i just need to move on and focus on myself and#my life#it’s just disheartening to know that it’s often fake disingenuous and vile people like that who get ahead in life#but again: i need to focus on myself! i have nothing to blame myself for i always tried my best and i did not badmouth to my boss!#gonna have lunch now and watch shopping queen <3#just had to write this rare moment of clarity and self assurance down bc i know the self doubt and loathing will creep in sooner or later#again#☁️
cheekblush reblogged
bloodyheadfairy-deactivated2017
im an angel i don’t belong here that’s why i never fit in anywhere
so i officially quit my job at the pharmacy and i’m starting a new job in december
#i’m both excited and terrified#i was always so sure i would never do a corporate job but here i am 🙃#but the working hours and the pay are better so at least on paper the job is already better than my current one#unfortunately i still can’t shake the fear that this job might turn out even worse somehow#but i’m proud of myself for quitting my current job bc i know i deserve better#and this is a new challenge and opportunity for me so i’ll try making the best out of it#☁️
cheekblush reblogged
if you don’t take risks, nothing will change
#needed this rn#bc i’m still hesitant about accepting this new job offer#but if i don’t i’ll never find out if it’s a better option for me and nothing will change#i’m just so scared that this job will somehow turn out even worse even though the working hours and the pay are better#i just need to take this shot and be optimistic that everything will fall into place 🧿#words#note to self
hybe wants exo to disband sooooooo badly lmao
#pathetic company#keeping tabs on how much money jongdae spent on flower arrangements for his wedding????#i can’t believe lee sooman almost sold all of his shares in sm to hybe#i need this stupid company to fall apart and bang pd to quit like he’s been awfully quiet about all this 🤔#it’s one thing to monitor your competition when it comes to promotions sales etc but why did they report such irrelevant things?#it just reads like nasty gossip and not a serious report by a professional company#☁️
today was a very weird last day of october..
#not necessarily bad but just weird..#although some bad things did happen#but let’s focus on the positive: i found some great affordable jewelry + i’m currently baking a cherry pie for my grandma’s bday tomorrow#i’ve barely been online this month bc so much has been going in my life lately i can barely keep up#i hope you are all doing well and may november welcome us gently 🫶🏻#☁️
cheekblush reblogged
If it works out that’s fantastic and if it doesn’t it was still a learning experience and nothing is eternally damaging so long as you have the ability to breathe and change course when need be and you shouldn’t compare yourself to anyone else because we are all on entirely different timelines and rejection is redirection and if something doesn’t work out something better can always supplant it and life is too short not to surround it w people who truly love you and you can always find your people no matter what stage of life you’re in and there are too many people in this world for you to settle and nothing that happened in your life is pointless bc it shaped you into exactly who you are today and you can break the cycle whenever you choose to and it’s fine and it’ll work out and you’ll be alright and I love you
cheekblush reblogged
“It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them. I was so preposterously serious in those days…Lightly, lightly—it’s the best advice ever given me. So throw away your baggage and go forward. There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet, trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair. That’s why you must walk so lightly. Lightly, my darling.”
— Aldous Huxley
cheekblush reblogged
who else mourning the person they could've been if they were treated kindly as a child
#no…. don’t do this to me rn 😭😭😭#sometimes i have flashbacks of how my mom treated me as a child and it’s honestly heartbreaking#like…. i was just a little kid why were you so cruel to me? 💔#and i know that a lot of my struggles with my self worth and fear of intimacy stem from the way i was treated as a child..#okay time to repress these memories again bc i don’t want to be depressed today!#me#words
just had a job interview that ended in me petting a dog :)
#his name was aron <3 (not the english pronounciation!!!)#i even gave him some treats and he sat down and gave me his paw :’)#very lovely experience i felt instantly welcomed#but i’m not so sure about the job tbh i sincerely hope i can find smth more suitable for me#i have a horrible headache rn and feel so exhausted and i have a 10 hour shift ahead of me tomorrow#the interview lasted two and a half hours which i did not expect at all#but it didn’t feel like a professional job interview tbh it was more familiar#they asked so many personal questions as well that aren’t allowed in a professional setting and i wasn’t comfortable denying an answer#but idk i feel like they know way too much about me now even though they seemed to really like me#☁️
tagged by the lovely @milfbestie 🩷
cheekblush reblogged
So silly when I forget how special I am
cheekblush reblogged
we just have to trust the unfolding