Less magic schools. More magic universities. Unlearn the simplified models of your secondary education. Discover how to reference scrolls written by a wizard possessed by a different wizard. Identify bias in the voices that whisper from beyond the veil. Have your institution be accused of promoting a Merlinist agenda. Become addicted to energy potions.

sometimes bad things happen to you but the manner in which they're inflicted is so indistinguishable from the sorts of cruel and unusual misfortunes that befall a character in a sitcom created for the sole purpose of suffering for other people's entertainment that it's impossible to even begin to get upset about it

i was already having what can only be described as a pretty fucking bad day and my coworkers noticed and were kind enough to offer me the last of the freshly baked limited edition cookies we've recently started selling that i cannot get enough of, and just as i'd finished thanking them sincerely for such a thoughtful and touching gesture of goodwill a customer walked in, pointed at the single cookie in the display case, ordered it and absolutely nothing else, and left

god i've seen what you've done for others and you are doing some straight up looney tunes shit to me

while kissing my cat's little head: you're a problem *smooch* you're a terror *smooch* you're a menace to society *smooch smooch smooch*

had a bad low blood pressure moment last night and messily asked my partner for saltines and water before realizing i should probably ask for the Blood Pressure Medication I Need To Take. while they went to go grab it though i still had water and crackers so in a daze i took a swig of water but didnt swallow and then tried to cram 2 saltines in my mouth. full of water. in bed. with mouth full of water

Oh My God Damn

just remember, one day you're going to open tumblr and the crabs will be raving like they never have before

i want to coin a phrase that's the opposite of writer's block. call it the muse's fire hydrant. thirty thousand story ideas are being beamed directly into your brain and if you don't write them all at once you will die.

yknow what i mean?

awesome. we have a beetle problem

Welcome to Tumblr, we *smack* are a normal *smack* social media blogging *smack smack smack* website.

fuck off it's not a collar it's to hide my decapitation scar. my head will literally fall off if you take it off it's not a sex thing. the decapitation was a sex thing though yeah.

werewolf yuri

i missed MMs 3 year anniversary...........

here's the spontaneous illustration i did in a couple of sittings cause i wanted to paint a spooky thing with a background lol

secret hug techniques to be used only in dire emergencies

we have to write sonnets again for class, and I panicked and chose one of the only topics I know about

I need one more for this assignment. really plumbing the depths of my autism here. cat colour genetics? maniraptorans? fossilized melanosomes? what has good rhyme potential?

alright so I went with 'invasive house sparrows', but then very quickly got off track

therapists saying you're surprisingly self aware is like being called a pleasure to have in class for adults