let the light in

I am not asking for much, god

At the end of the day I still am privileged to be comfortable in my bed with my cats. I am here for now.

Life is so confusing. Being 26 is just like being a teenager but with more responsibility. The same drama, confusion, love, blah blah blah, still smoking shitty weed with my friends.

If I could go back and enjoy the good times again, I would. It’s the same but different.

I like this meow boop thing because meow is what I like to say. I LOVE CATs and Halloween!!!!!!!!!

You know, I am so blessed. I have everything I need. Access to food, water, I have a bed and a roof over my head. I have pets that love me. I am loved by so many people. The little things are not little.

Unfortunately I can’t get high enough to forget everything that’s stressful in this fuckin world

Google how can I be happy when my mother isn’t

I know I could do so much more. I have the power within me. But I am scared. There is not a certain path. What if I fail? But what if I succeed?

I will always be the girl who is unknown and misunderstood. I think I was born to be sad. Being different is so difficult. I am always striving for normal and falling so far.

Depression tastes so sweet. It’s so soft. I want to slip in so badly. I miss it all.

Loneliness again it never leaves if only I tried harder to create friendships in school if only I didn’t let myself do those things so young if only I was kind and helpful if only I made the right choices if only I knew how to suppress my feelings

Another old friend passes away. It’s been years since we’ve talked but he’s taken away his life and I feel it. I feel the emptiness he’s left. I’ve been so close to the other side and still I can’t understand it. Why leave his beautiful daughter? I will never know. I will never understand. So I will grieve and remember.

I have been cooking! I started 2024 a vegetarian and I am cooking meat today!

I was strictly vegetarian from ages 13-25. Funny how it coincides with how long I’ve been depressed.

This isn’t the right choice for everyone, but I’ve been happier and had more energy since eating meat again.

I am proud. This was not easy but I’m doing it. I will do whatever it takes for me to enjoy this lifetime.

It’s 10pm and I am ready to heal

I’m terrified I won’t make enough. Money is so scary. I need to find health care and put money into retirement. I’m terrified

I fed the kitties and went to the grocery and people were kind and I’m making sun tea and biscuits then alfredo pasta later, bf will make chicken & we will enjoy a joint and sleep next to each other

I love when my parents are gone and we can role play as a married couple. 7 years in and still not living together. It’s easy to get discouraged. But we will enjoy this weekend!