celeste-tyrrell reblogged
And remember, they don't have to hit you in order to qualify as an abuser. Do they...
- Say mean and/or creepy things and then try to walk it back as "just a joke?"
- Tell you that you're "too sensitive" when you call out their words or behavior?
- Use the Bible, the Quran, the Torah, the Vedas, or any other religious text to justify mistreating you?
- Treat you badly, apologize, promise never to do it again, and proceed to do it again?
- Try to control where you go, how you dress, who you see and talk to, what and how much you eat, etc.?
- Snoop through your phone, emails, belongings, or other private stuff without your OK? Or manipulate you into "letting" them do so?
- Track your menstrual cycle (if you have one) without your OK? Or manipulate you into "letting" them do so?
- Try to make you keep a pregnancy you don't want (or terminate one you do)? Or try to dictate what (if any) birth control you use?
- Threaten to hurt themselves or other people if you leave, or "step out of line?"
- Break or throw things when they're upset?
- Punch holes in walls, doors, etc.?
- Make you (or try to make you) engage in sexual acts you don't enjoy, don't feel ready for, don't feel comfortable with, or just plain aren't in the mood for?
- Try to make you feel like a bad person for saying "no" to sex?
- Try to distance you from your friends and family?
- Actively try to turn your friends and family against you? Or you against them?
- Get mad when you say no or try to set a boundary?
- Call you degrading names?
- Use your insecurities against you?
- "Neg" or "should" you into conforming to their preferences?
- Try to get you to quit your job, or get you fired?
- Use drugs, alcohol, a bad day at work, or whatever their deal is as an excuse for their behavior? If so, you need to get out. Now. Make a plan. I promise, it doesn't get better as long as you are in this relationship. You cannot love the red flags out of people. Even if they don't hit you now, there's a good chance they'll start sooner or later; abuse has a nasty tendency to escalate.
