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#support – @cawolters on Tumblr
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madammuffins

For #positiveblr I’m asking people about 1) Something that never fails to make them smile 2) Their favorite thing to do when taking a break from writing and 3) One piece of advice (not necessarily in writing) that you wish you learned earlier. Please send this to at least three others do keep the positivity going!

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Ahhh man.

1. My kids. Hands down forever. They’re fucking hilarious when they aren’t being awful.

2. My favorite thing to do when not writing is just recharging. I’ve got a lot going on right now. I’m a single mom to three kids, I work full time, I have some health issues, I’m getting surgery soon, I have two dogs (one of which likes to run away no matter what I do and I love her, I do, I just wish she would stop because I still worry and it’s so stressful and awful???) and two cats, and I’m a house owner and our house is literally falling apart I only bought it not even two full years ago could it please stop until I can afford this? And my ex is still trying to pull his manipulative/abusive bullshit and I have a very, very small support circle (like, two people and they’re all online) so… I burn out quick and I take frequent breaks. And I do diddle fucking squat aside from everything else.

3. Trust your gut. It’s not actually your gut, it is you - that powerful, primal, instinctive part of you that knows what your heart and brain may not yet have realized.

  • If it feels like he is cheating, he probably is.
  • If it feels like you’re working too hard to prove yourself or being taken advantage of, your probably are.
  • If it feels like a situation is wrong, it is.
  • If it feels like you’re bending towards making the wrong decision then you will be.
  • Listen to it. it is so important.
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cawolters

Had to reblog before answering, because— damn! Not only are you a strong and powerful force in the writeblr community, but you are also a very skilled writer. So good, that I didn’t even stop to think you had a REAL FUCKING life on the other side of the screen. I mean, of course, you sense it, the life of others, the background noise to their writing, but it gives me both joy and hope to know that you are being a fucking brilliant writer, a strong independent woman, a loving mother and a kickass human, even though life gets hard and messy. My life gets hard and messy too! Shit happens, accident calls you out of bed in the middle of the night, consequence from an old desition haunts you, but they never get the better of you. They never get the better of me either. I won’t let it. Because we’re stronger than that. We, writers, artists, creators and mothers. We’re harder and softer than any matherial on earth. And all this rant is based on what I’ve read off of your blog, but I’m willing to bet all my chips that I’m not wrong. Not about a single thing. I usually never am. Call it my witch blood, or my intuition, or my primal gut talking.

I look up to you. In every aspect.

Keep going.

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-ciao-

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Writer research question to people who has gone through therapy for ED/angst/panic attacks/self harm and or pts:

  • How would the perfect recovery partner look in your eyes? What is the bedst they could do to support your recovery? What is the least helpful thing that they could do?

I have gone through intensive therapy in my teens but I’ve been recovering for 5 years, without relaps for 3, and I find myself blocking out what it was like to be helped into recovery?

I simply can’t remember. It’s kinda disturbing.

When I started writing my dark fantasy novel, The Serpent Kiss (about two years ago), it was really just smut, however it was always violent and Shiroin (my mc) was always battling anxiety and self-harm.

I think this novel has been my ‘new’ therapy. Trying to dive deep into some issues I find myself in from day to day, and analyzing some of my own coping mechanisms and patterns.

I wrote Kiel (her love interest and friend) to be entirely un-judgmental, and that was a big thing for me (still is) when people try to help me ‘reset’.

It never helped me when people tried to ‘protect me from myself’, and I despise reading romance novels (it especially occurres in a lot of paranormal relationships) with this dynamic, because to me it’s not romantic.

To me, it’s devaluating my authority as an adult and openly displays the distrust in my capability to make the right decision.

Usually, I just need a little shot of reality to realize that I’m knee deep in a negative spiral, before I can break it. Not that you start hiding the knives or monitoring my plate (but that’s just me).

So, yes.

I would like to hear your feelings and thoughts, and make sure that I am not accidentally forgetting some essential factor when it comes to writing a supportive partner.

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Ps. You can answer in the comments, send me a private chat/message or go in anonymous and send me an ‘ask’. I will not reply publically ♥️

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