Agent of Chaos

you know what trope pisses me off the most? when the protag is pointing a gun at somebody and they’re like “you won’t do it. you’re too good” and the person holding the gun is like oh shit i am and they slowly lower the gun while the other person laughs. WHAT THE FUCK. if i were there, and somebody told me “you won’t do it” i would immediately shoot them dead without hesitating. who are you to tell me what i wont do. musty bitch

Keep in mind that there is almost always a third option, most especially when the person talking is vague about what, precisely, it is that you “won’t do.”

If it’s noodles, pour them on your sister instead of on her computer, or if the noodles are quite hot, pour them on her pillow or in a great spattering arc around her room.

If you have a supervillain at gunpoint and *they* say you’re “too good” and “won’t do it,” shoot them in the leg/foot or the shoulder. The former allows them to think they’re right while you lower the gun only to be confronted with sudden understanding and regret when you blow their metatarsals to kingdom come, while the latter is instant and avoids giving them even a moment’s satisfaction or any time to charge you while you’re lowering the gun to shoot them in the leg.

Door Number Three usually exists and is often your friend. Endeavor to cultivate awareness thereof.

Ethical dillemas are rarely reducible down to a clear binary.

Quick! Funniest reason for someone to become a villain

Has a crush on the hero and can't be normal about it

Okay, but that moment when a very poised, calm, in-control villain snaps for a minute and starts yelling, which causes their perfectly-combed hair to shake loose over their forehead as their face turns red with fury, only to a moment later take a deep breath and visibly calm themselves, smoothing their hair back into place with a little comment, “Oh dear, how dreadfully uncivilized of me.”

Very good moments, 10/10, A+!

villain-adjacent tropes i like 

all found on tvtropes.com

you know what trope pisses me off the most? when the protag is pointing a gun at somebody and they’re like “you won’t do it. you’re too good” and the person holding the gun is like oh shit i am and they slowly lower the gun while the other person laughs. WHAT THE FUCK. if i were there, and somebody told me “you won’t do it” i would immediately shoot them dead without hesitating. who are you to tell me what i wont do. musty bitch

Keep in mind that there is almost always a third option, most especially when the person talking is vague about what, precisely, it is that you “won’t do.”

If it’s noodles, pour them on your sister instead of on her computer, or if the noodles are quite hot, pour them on her pillow or in a great spattering arc around her room.

If you have a supervillain at gunpoint and *they* say you’re “too good” and “won’t do it,” shoot them in the leg/foot or the shoulder. The former allows them to think they’re right while you lower the gun only to be confronted with sudden understanding and regret when you blow their metatarsals to kingdom come, while the latter is instant and avoids giving them even a moment’s satisfaction or any time to charge you while you’re lowering the gun to shoot them in the leg.

Door Number Three usually exists and is often your friend. Endeavor to cultivate awareness thereof.

Ethical dillemas are rarely reducible down to a clear binary.

Getting philosophical here

There are two rules when it comes to making threats:

1. Always follow through. If you make a threat, then don’t do it, whoever you’re threatening will literally never listen to you again. You won’t get what you want, and you’ll lose pretty much every ounce of respect. Not only that, but you’ll also telegraph to anyone around you that you can be walked over.

2. Never start at the top. If you’re threatening someone, always have a point to escalate to, in case you need to follow through a second time to get what you want. You can only kill someone once, and if you threaten to do so and then don’t, you’re breaking rule 1. You want to start at a level that matches your desires, and then step up each further threat until you either get it, or they’re dead. Usually you only have to threaten someone twice, because they’ll know from the first time that you’ll do it.

(For legal reasons, this is writing advice).

Writing advice, yees...

@dappercritter Shooting someone in the leg seems like a reasonable option.

masterlist. main navigation.

POV : you’re a female villain in fiction. You’re badass and can beat up a dozen men at once, but you have no other personality besides either being cold or always using your feminine charms to seduce men. You’re also fully devoted to the main male villain. I'm tired of seeing the lack of well-written female villains, so let’s change that, shall we? Here are some tips for writing a good and well-developed female villain!

1. Their personality

I always get excited whenever there's a badass female villain, but then, boom. They're simply two-dimensional women who has no other personality besides being hot, badass and beating up men. Yes, we all love a badass hot lady, but not when she's boring.

Give us someone with an interesting personality, a well-rounded backstory, complex morals, and literally anything else that you would give your male villains. Instead of simply either emotionless or overly cheerful, give us ambitious, creative, and resourceful female villains. Give us a witty woman who cracks jokes in the middle of battle. Give us normal women.

2. Motivations

I've noticed that most of the time, the motivation of female villains is either driven by love or their desire to seek approval from a more powerful man, while male villains have all types of motivations, like ruling the world, gaining immortality, or rebuilding civilization.

See the difference? Why not give your female villains a motivation centered around them, instead of another man? I'm not saying that romance is a bad motivation - but it's just a widely applied stereotype that would be nice to change for once.

3. Make them likable

I can make a list of male antagonists who people love, but would hate their female counterparts. It’s pretty annoying, so give your female villain likeable traits. If she’s ruthless, you can make her a good leader who cares about her people. If she’s cold, you can make her a determined person who’d stop at nothing to reach her goals. You don’t have to make her likable as a person - she’s a villain after all - but please try to make her likable as a villain.

4. Complex morality

Give your female villains a complex morality - terrible things that she doesn’t mind doing and some lines that she will never cross. Maybe she’s fine with killing others, but she would never let one of her people die. Maybe she’s doing evil things, but for a greater good. Or alternatively, you can even make her completely ruthless!

5. Purpose

Please, please give your female villain a purpose in the story besides just looking hot and badass. Think about what will happen to the storyline if she wasn't in it. If the plot will fall apart, then you're good to go. Also, another thing, don't kill her off so quickly if she's the only female villain in the story. It gives the impression that they're easier to defeat than male ones.

6. Examples

The ATLA/TLOK universe has the best female villains I've ever seen, periodt.

Take Azula, for example. Yes, she works for a bigger male villain, but she doesn't need him. In fact, she accomplished everything without the help of that useless excuse of a Fire Lord. She could literally get rid of him and take the throne for herself if she wanted to. She also has a complex backstory which makes people understand her, a rich personality, and is completely ruthless. True, she's a horrible person, but I love her as a villain.

Then, there's Kuvira from TLOK. Unlike Azula, she's doing evil things for a cause that she believes is good. Eventually, she realizes that her actions are wrong, and turns herself in, which was the beginning of her redemption arc. She has a good backstory, complicated morality, and she doesn't answer to any man. She even has a love interest who has nothing to do with her villain arc, which I love.

Different types of villains be like:

Let me think, Zim is 1, 4, 7, 8, 9 and 10. Little alien boy has Range!

i get why people are saying "sometimes characters can just be bad and irredeemable" w the cruella movie and shit but actually the thesis statement of any villain being "they are just evil people" is terrible storytelling. not every villain needs to have a tragic backstory or even needs to be sympathetic but like you get how "some people are just born fucked up and evil" isnt a good way to write or read stories

I agree. The thing about "dalmations murdered her mother", though, isn't bad because it's a backstory. It's bad because it's a terrible backstory, written and slapped on without an ounce of critical thought.

There is a way to present characters as unsympathetically evil through their backstories, chronicling their own ideas about the world and showing the audience exactly why, say, they don't give a shit about animal welfare and consider showy displays of wealth to be their ideal of success. There's a middle ground for interesting backstories that falls between "this character was just born evil i guess lol🤪" and "actually she's completely justified because dalmations murdered her mother."

No-one is born evil, but man, that backstory was not needed, and just plain BAD.

I just really want to write a book (in fact, I think that I’m going to) where the protagonist is in a wheelchair. And they live in a city where there’s a group of superheroes. And there’s a big, magical, villain because of course there is.

And since they were a young child, this protagonist has wanted nothing more than to join the group of superheroes. Like they’re a huge fan of the group and they just know that it’s their destiny to join.

And one day, when wheeling through the city, they see the group of heroes fighting the villain. And they quickly wheel over and cry, “Let me help!”

But the ‘heroes’ laugh and instead make a whole bunch of ableist remarks.

And so the protagonist has to prove themselves.

And the villain is trying to warn them to stop.

But the protagonist ends up taking their footrest off of their wheelchair and they swing it. And it hits the villain in the side of the face and the villain collapses and groans in pain.

And so the protagonist proudly smiles and turns to the group of heroes.

Because they just proved that they are strong and worthy enough.

But the group of ‘heroes’ still keeps making ableist remarks.

And the protagonist is shocked.

And meanwhile, the ‘villain’ staggers to their feet and is standing next to the protagonist’ wheelchair.

And one of the ‘heroes’ goes too far when calling the protagonist the R word.

And the protagonist and the ‘villain’ just sort of glance at one another.

And the ‘villain’ is just like, “You know…I can zap them for you…if you want.”

And the protagonist hesitates and says, “Yeah, alright!”

One fried group of heroes later, the ‘villain’ says, “Why do you think that I’m always fighting them? They’re all a bunch of assholes.”

And the protagonist sadly nods and starts to wheel away.

Then:

“Hey, do you want a job?”

The protagonist turns at the villain’s remark. And the protagonist mumbles something like, “Oh, come on. I don’t need your pity.”

And the ‘villain’ is like, “Pity!? Do I look like someone who hands out pity!? I don’t pity you! I’m kind of afraid of you, to be honest! I mean…I’m going to have a giant bruise on my face because of you.”

“Yeah…sorry…”

“Water under the bridge! So, what do you say? Do you want a job?”

And the protagonist thinks about it for a minute before shrugging.

And the ‘villain’ is all excited because they’ve wanted someone to work with them for years but no mortal is allowed to ‘step into’ their lair.

And then the ‘villain’ stops and is like, “Hang on…you can’t work with me in that.”

And they gesture to the protagonist’s wheelchair.

And the protagonist is all embarrassed.

And then the villain goes, “Because we can get you a much better wheelchair! It’ll look great! And it’ll be indestructible! And it’ll have all sorts of weapons and gadgets! Hey, how do you feel about flying…?”

And all of that is literally in the first chapter and then the rest of the story follows the two going around the city like BAMFs, forcing people to stop being ableist, one way or another. And maybe it’ll have some commentary on the scale of morality and what it truly means to be a hero and what it truly means to be a villain.

Would anyone be interested in this!?

Because I really want to write it!?

YESSSSS. ALL MY YES PLS WRITE IT

I’D READ THE SHIT OUT OF THAT YES PLEASE

OP HERE!

Man, it’s so surreal to look at this.

BECAUSE I ACTUALLY WROTE IT!

AND IT WAS JUST PUBLISHED TONIGHT!

Of course, there are some differences between the final book and this original idea. The most notable difference is that all of this takes place in the first book (it’s going to be a series!) and the whole ‘superhero’ thing is just going to be a front. There’s a few other differences as well (such as a huge plotline involving Merlin and immortal characters!)

BUT I WROTE IT!

AND IT’S PUBLISHED!

AND IF YOU’RE INTERESTED, YOU CAN BUY IT HERE:

www.amazon.com/Antagonists-Book-One-Burgandi-Rakoska-ebook/dp/B015BWS9J0/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1442188845&sr=1-1&keywords=the+antagonists

AND IF YOU WANT TO HELP ME OUT, YOU CAN REVIEW IT!

AND IF YOU REALLY WANT TO HELP ME OUT, YOU CAN SIGNAL BOOST THIS POST WITH THIS REPLY SO THAT PEOPLE ACTUALLY KNOW THAT THE BOOK NOW EXISTS!

oh man you so rarely see ‘what if’ posts on tumblr get an actual follow-through. great job op! i’ll check it out!

I just bought this with the free kindle computer app and if i didn’t already love the concept i’d love it for the sentence “In her life, Minnie had experienced thirteen surgeries and thirty-one hospitalizations; none of which had been as brutal as graduate school.”

I'm so happy for you, man!

Punishment for honesty is what makes us lie.

Well... Yeah. And no matter what parents say, not every lie comes out. Maybe the big ones, that involve more than three people- but the little ones? The ones that you can't really confirm? 3/4 of them (from my experience) stay unknown, and it's worth risking the other 1/4.

Am I starting to talk like a cartoon villain? Oh well.