Agent of Chaos

Today’s Good Omens posting is about *spins wheel*

how Crowley’s self-loathing colors the way he sees Aziraphale’s interactions with him and how we should take that negative bias into account

I’m not even gonna talk about the whole final scene/misunderstanding because we’ve all talked about that one by now. Instead I want to talk about Crowley’s description of the 3 reasons Aziraphale calls him:

(Paraphrasing) “you’re bored; you need to tell someone about something clever you did; something’s wrong”

this is a succinct breakdown and it lowkey paints Aziraphale in a bad light; Aziraphale only calls Crowley when it’s beneficial to him; this is a transactional relationship

but like, I think, to some degree, those 3 reasons are simply the only reasons Crowley can actually imagine Aziraphale being interested in talking to him. The last one is a common song and dance between them, sure, but what about the first 2?

Aziraphale calling out of the blue, rambling about how things have been slow and quiet in the neighborhood of late and wanting to take that time to catch up - Crowley can’t fathom ‘Aziraphale missed my voice and wanted to make sure I was doing okay’ and turns it into ‘Aziraphale is just bored obviously’

Aziraphale calling, absolutely giddy, talking a mile a minute about something clever he’s done can’t possibly be ‘I’m the first person he wants to share his victories with, the person whose opinion matters the most to him now and always’ so instead it’s ‘Aziraphale just needed someone to tell this to before he popped’

(There’s an interesting thing implied here as well, which is that it’s Aziraphale calling Crowley regularly and yet we talk about how Aziraphale isn’t taking initiative in the relationship but I digress)

Point is, I think Crowley knows that Aziraphale likes him, it’s part of what makes everything so heartbreaking - the way he ends up being rejected in spite of that - but just like I think he misunderstands Aziraphale’s heaven proposal because he can’t see that Aziraphale thinks he is better than heaven already, he misunderstands any reason Aziraphale would possibly reach out to him as some level of wanting something rather than… just wanting to talk to him. He doesn’t recognize that he is Enough for Aziraphale, no strings or acts of service attached.

We just need one amazing kiss conversation to set this straight

It's so much easier to reframe it as "he just wants something" when you're terrified of being rejected.

"nothing lasts forever"

what aziraphale thought he said: you are more important than my books

what crowley heard: our partnership had to end some day

I’m not even sure that’s what he heard. Because like, even if he didn’t, right. Even if they’re just talking about the bookshop. Aziraphale is still basically going ‘Yes, this thing we both love and depend on is nice, but we have to give up nice things sometimes, don’t we?’

Remember what Crowley said about that precious, peaceful, fragile existence [they’ve] carved out here. Aziraphale is saying that’s about to end. And I don’t think Crowley can handle that loss right now. The season starts with Aziraphale telling Crowley his beautiful celestial creation won’t last and ends with him saying their life on Earth won’t last. The first, he’s visibly upset and deflated. The second, he’s devastated. Things keep being taken away from him.

I think he knows Aziraphale isn’t ending their partnership. But what he IS ending is just as painful. Everything the bookshop symbolizes, their tentative freedom, their precious fragile peace, Aziraphale is ready to let that go. And Crowley isn’t. That’s why he puts on his glasses and walks away.

THIS. The problem here isn't a complete miscommunication-- Crowley knows what Aziraphale means. He just also knows that Heaven is incredibly toxic, and he can't let himself get sucked into that toxicity with Aziraphale, no matter how much he loves him. Especially not if it means sacrificing their own identities and lives and joys.

Aziraphale means well, but he is literally going back to an abuser, and doesn't seem to understand that that's what he's doing. He's asking Crowley to change a fundamental part of himself to go back to that WITH him, and he doesn't realise that's what he's asking! He has perfectly good intentions, but what he's asking of Crowley is terrible!

And Crowley is 100% making the right decision by refusing! I've seen some people trying to defend Aziraphale by claiming that they're equally in the wrong, but I don't personally think that's right. Is Crowley communicating as clearly as he should? No. But I'm not sure it would have changed Aziraphale's decision even if he had. Aziraphale is relapsing! It happens sometimes during recovery! And true love or no, you should never let yourself get dragged back into an unhealthy environment that hurts you, not even for a partner or family member. The best you can do is make it clear that you'll be waiting until they wake up again.

I think Crowley was right when he said "I think I understand a whole lot better than you do." Crowley learned a whole lot sooner that Heaven and Hell are equally awful and pointless. He knows the best thing to be is free, and true to yourself. Now he just has to wait and hope that Aziraphale will learn that lesson soon.

I think in an effort to defend Aziraphale people are trying to move his share of the blame onto other things; making Crowley more at fault than he is, or the coffee theory, etc. But sometimes people make mistakes! Especially recovering people! I think most of the breakup IS Aziraphale's fault, and I think that makes his character even more loveable and relatable and interesting. Not to mention human.

#6000 years of lack of communication (inspired by this post by @wilyserpentofeden)

i love taking jabs at The Ineffables' horrific communication skills as much as the next guy but i hope you all understand that their piss-poor communication is built upon centuries of having to deny the truth of their relationship and having to take orders from Mega Powerful Organizations that they don't necessarily agree with but could kill them if opposed

all of their interactions until the end of Armageddon't had to be hidden under layers of deception, excuses, and plausible deniability — clandestine meetings at St. James' Park, risking discorporation via guillotine for a lunch date in Paris, "go back to my place" "my side won't like that", not accepting each other's gratitude. the same could be said for anything they did that their head offices don't agree with — doing good deeds because laudanum might not make him accountable for his actions, saving the Earth against heaven's wishes under the guise of thwarting a demon, having sushi to "live like the locals" when really he just likes sushi and interesting restaurants where they know his name. they never learned to be completely honest with each other, or with anyone (including themselves) for that matter.

it's honestly a testament to how strong their connection is that they've grown to trust each other so deeply ("i knew you'd come through for me, you always do" / "i can rely on you and you can rely on me"), given the circumstances. how do you place all your faith in someone despite the fact that you two could only ever whisper half-truths and read between the lines? god i love them

now that the walls are down, they're learning how to voice everything they never could out loud. it's clumsy, and painstaking, and they might cause each other grief along the way, but they'll get the hang of it, little by little

Crowley could have easily rented another flat but like the dramatic bitch he is he lives in his car with his little plants waiting for aziraphale to ask him to move in. Meanwhile aziraphale is living on another planet mentally where he is too busy creating Situations in which he gets to casually touch crowley. 6,000 years 1 brain cell bouncing around between these two

crowley, draping himself over the bentley: "my car is so SMALL and my plants need SPACE and LIGHT"

aziraphale, who still has not asked why the plants are in the backseat: "yes yes but do you have a free evening to roleplay a jane austen book for absolutely not gay reasons?"

So he never knew huh

i keep seeing ppl draw parallels between Nina's baggage and Aziraphale's abusive relationship with Heaven, but i think people are forgetting that Crowley was communicating with Hell the entire season and that he lied about it. He may never have intended to accept Beelzebub's offer, but he did not say no to their face.

hell simultaneously bugs him for advice, makes grand offers [you could be a duke of hell if you comply] and threatens him. that’s very much akin to an abusive cycle in a relationship

Yeah exactly. Also Aziraphale isn’t in contact with Heaven at all until after Gabriel shows up. Crowley is the one meeting with Shax (importantly this is before he knows anything about Gabriel), giving her advice, and generally being way more involved with his previous employers than Aziraphale.

exactly. and he doesnt tell aziraphale any of it. presumably bc he thought if worse comes to worst they could just run and hide. but their communication breaks down from the start and keeps spiralling.

Crowley doesn't lie to Aziraphale, not directly. But he lies by omission, he stays silent to protect him, to not make him worry, over and over and over again. And, of course, it blows up in his face.

Crowley making his own life harder is one of the first things we see him do, after all.

Along the lines of Crowley's living situation, when he's parked the Bentley in that little curved cobblestone street, is that supposed to be somewhere near London? Because I know that the real life location is in Edinburgh (I happened to visit it last November, not knowing it would end up being a filming location!), so when I watched the show I thought it was weird that Crowley would drive all the way from Edinburgh to London and then back again, but then it occurred to me that maybe the in-show location is supposed to be closer. So, where is that curved street supposed to be in the GO universe?

Take a look at the background of the street. It’s not in Edinburgh any longer.

bonus:

the repetition of Crowley saying, "i'm a demon, i lie" (white lies. little lies. he doesn't lie about stuff that actually matters) vs Aziraphale thinking he really does lie (about stuff that does matter, like not wanting to be an angel, like not being a good person, like not wanting forgiveness). they really are listening to each other but hearing something different. (aim for my mouth, shoot past my ear)

Aziraphale’s Guilt, Crowley’s Rank and How it Plays into the End of Season 2

So everyone’s talking about Aziraphale’s religious trauma or the coffee but I want to talk about why specifically he believes it’s a good idea to ask Crowley to return to Heaven as an angel. To do that we need to go back to the start.

Aziraphale meets an innocent, enthusiastic angel Crowley who is happy simply creating the universe. And then here he comes and crushes that innocence in his mind, telling Crowley that it will all end in 6,000 years and that his work means nothing. Crowley starts to question, thinks he can makes suggestions to God. Aziraphale tries to stop him but fails. Their first meeting ends with Crowley saying not to worry and asking how much trouble he could get into for asking questions. Because unbeknownst to Aziraphale this isn’t an ordinary lower level angel but an Archangel, possibly a Prince of Heaven, who believes he can makes suggestions, who believes others will listen to him when he tries to say “No”. But it doesn’t and it ends with a Fall and the same realization as Gabriel that nobody will listen.

Meanwhile Aziraphale meets Crowley through the next 6,000 years and sees the angel he first met inside the demon. During the events with Job Aziraphale even says “I know the angel you were.” Crowley replies “The angel you knew is not me.” Aziraphale holds that guilt of causing Crowley to Fall while Crowley knows it’s the whole institution of Heaven and Hell that’s the problem.

So they both see the best and worst of each other over the years and they start and stop Armageddon. The Gabriel fiasco happens and they see it’s possible to be together. And Aziraphale wants it so much but would Heaven really leave them alone after everything.

Then the Metatron comes with an oatmilk almond latte and an offer that seems impossible. He can become Supreme Archangel of Heaven. He can change Heaven and make it GOOD. He can make it worthy of Crowley. He can make that suggestion box that Crowley wanted. He can make it so they’re never hunted again. He can let go of that guilt of causing Crowley to question and Fall. Crowley won’t ever have to go through that again with him in charge. They can be together and that bright-eyed angel he remembers can return.

But it’s all a scam. He doesn’t realize he’s being used to start the Second Coming until right before he steps into the elevator, or that Heaven WANTS to separate him and Crowley, If Metatron didn’t threaten Crowley’s existence. But I don’t think he did. Because it’s only Crowley who really understands that Heaven was going to use Extreme Sanctions, who saw the file on Gabriel and their plans and more than that, possibly has first-hand experience of what Heaven will do to even a Prince of Heaven who tries to stop their plans.

“I don’t think you understand what I’m offering you.”

“I understand. I think I understand a whole lot better than you do.”

Crowley does indeed understand so much better. He’s seen the memory wipes, possibly experienced it. He’s been forced to Fall. He’s watched Heaven try to kill his angel with Hellfire.

“We don’t need them. They’re toxic!”

Aziraphale believes that if he can fix Heaven that guilt he felt will go away. He can make a Heaven worthy of Crowley, the Crowley who saved goats and children and helped a young woman at the expense of being in trouble with Hell. Crowley hears this and thinks Aziraphale only wants a him worthy of Heaven.

“Oh Crowley, Nothing Lasts forever.”

Aziraphale means that he’d give everything up to be with Crowley. Crowley thinks that means Aziraphale would give even him up for Heaven. This time though, unlike with “Exactly” neither of them pick-up on the other’s different meaning. Because they don’t actually talk to each other,

It’s a tragedy. And there’s so much more I can get into. But it’s so beautifully written. @neil-gaiman Thank you for this amazing show.

it was really funny for (presumably omnipotent) god to be like um yeah aziraphale is totally the guy for the job. this is because of his leadership skills (had to bribe people with books in order to get them to come to a shopkeepers association meeting). not at all because I want to be able to tamp down the threat he represents w his little anarchist demon partner

AND HE FELL FOR IT. BECAUSE CROWLEY DOESNT KNOW HOW TO COMMUNICATE INFORMATION

So here’s what I’m thinking.

Good Omens was about Crowley being charged with delivering the Antichrist to earth and overseeing his upbringing.

The sequel, then, would’ve been about Aziraphale being charged with bringing about the Second Coming. A nice parallel to the first book.

But in order to get there, we would need a reason as to why it was Aziraphale, not Gabriel, who was charged with that. Traditionally it would’ve been Gabriel, right?

So Gabriel had to go away somehow, and Aziraphale had to become Supreme Archangel after rejecting and being rejected by Heaven. Hence, season 2, connecting the two stories.

And I love how Season 2 did this.

(and I have a lot of thoughts, so putting the rest of this long post beneath the cut)

Afficher davantage

Agreed except Crowley also has a LOT of things to work on too. He’s not perfect nor blameless there too. Azi don’t talk but Crowley don’t talk at all too. He doesn’t say the things he thinks and feels ( like the hatred for Gabriel and why). He doesn’t trust, not even to just ask Azi about living in the bedroom upstairs.

Neil confirmed that they BOTH have a lot to work on so can’t wait for season 3!!

You’re right! Crowley absolutely has just as much to work on as Aziraphale. They both hurt each other, and they both have a lot of work to do to make up for it. And it’ll start with them sitting down and having their first real conversation in millennia. And I can’t wait to see it!!

no but it's the way for aziraphale "nothing lasts forever" meant "i'm willing to give up the bookshop if it means i can be with you safely" and for crowley it meant "nothing lasts forever, not the bookshop, not earth, not us"

and and and

I fully believe that when Crowley says ‘you can’t leave this bookshop’, he isn’t actually talking about the bloody bookshop

and Aziraphale... Aziraphale thinks he is

they have different. FUCKING. EXACTLIES

Up until the almost-end-of-the-world, the way Aziraphale and Crowley maintained their relationship was through a collection of well-established and repeated patterns (dances, you might say). These little rituals were what they used to communicate affection, intimacy and trust when they couldn’t say the things they wanted to say out loud. I like spending time with you. You make me happy, and I like making you happy. We’re in this together. I’ll always be there for you, even when your own side is not.

In season 1, as the stress of the impending apocalypse puts more and more pressure on their relationship, we see their patterns start to break down, and it’s very distressing for them. They’ve been communicating like this for so long that they don’t know what to do when one of them doesn’t follow the dance steps.

When we first see them in season 2, they seem in some ways to be closer than ever. They touch each other more easily, Aziraphale in particular. Crowley is comfortable enough in the bookshop that he has a Spot for putting his sunglasses when he takes them off by the door. They’re more open about acknowledging how much time they spend together and how many things in their lives are shared.

And I think, also, we expect them to be happy. They won, didn’t they? So it takes a while for the cracks to start to show.

It wasn’t until this post pointed out that the whole season, we never see them sit down and share a meal together in the present day (no, Crowley doesn’t eat; yes, it still counts) that it started coming together for me. The closer you look, the more you realize the old patterns they’re used to relying on are broken.

FUCK man we talked about the left/right screen positions SO MUCH last season, why is this the first piece of meta about s2 mentioning it?! Why did I not think of it?!?? Your take on it makes so much sense though.

yknow I think this is a conversation a large portion of this fandom is not ready for but truly we really do need to start addressing crowley's anger issues and the way he treated aziraphale throughout this season before we can even begin unpicking why aziraphale would choose to leave him like that

like it's soooooo easy for us to be angry with aziraphale and call him unreasonable and stupid, and it's so easy for us to see crowley as the misunderstood hero, the jilted love interest, at the hands of aziraphale, because we know everything crowley knows, and we also understand why he's so quick to anger regarding anything concerning heaven or hell or aziraphale's involvement with such, but aziraphale doesn't. aziraphale doesn't understand why crowley blows up at him with no warning every time he involves himself with heaven's goings-on. aziraphale doesn't get why crowley has been so on edge and miserable this whole time. because crowley won't fucking talk to him. he just gets angry, makes aziraphale feel small and stupid for trying to do good, without explaining that it's because he's scared and he's trying to protect him. he refuses to be honest with aziraphale about his own fears and vulnerabilities and is so determined to keep aziraphale innocent of all the truth about heaven that he never says a word, never voices how scared he is for him, and then gets angry with him when he makes "wrong" decisions as a result of that not knowing. we all know why crowley holds onto so much rage and resentment towards heaven, but aziraphale doesn't. all he sees is someone whom he expects to support him put him down constantly, be consistently exasperated with him, make him feel unheard. literally all the things that alienated him from heaven and other angels in the first place. I can guarantee aziraphale would not have seen heaven as his only option in that moment if crowley hadn't immediately exploded at him rather than just trying to discuss this sensibly with him. we know why crowley reacted the way he did, and so can understand his pain and recognise him as a victim in this scenario, but aziraphale doesn't know the half of it! because crowley has intentionally hidden shit from him for years! the way he shows his concern is so unproductive it's painful to watch. all of that fear and desperation to protect aziraphale only manifests as misdirected anger at him when it matters most, and all it does is push aziraphale further away, makes him less willing to comply, makes him feel like he's just being bent to someone else's will all over again, and he can't fucking understand why crowley is being like this with him, and it absolutely contributed to his decision to leave crowley behind. as easy at it would be to make aziraphale out to be the bad guy here, it's still so important to acknowledge just all the ways crowley drove aziraphale further into heaven's arms all on his own.

Everyone is talking about Aziraphale not knowing what Crowley actually wants, thinking he knows him so well when he doesn't... But Crowley is misunderstanding Aziraphale just as much.

They. Never. Fucking. Talk.