Anyone ever put off starting a series or getting into a new craft or activity because you're current stimuli are doing you quite nicely and you KNOW there's heaps of dopamine stored in that new thing so you're saving it for whenever your next major depressive episode hits like a pika hoarding grass for winter or do I just have severe ADHD?
Oh hang on a minute.
That's why so many of us have piles of books on our shelves we haven't read or to-read collections on Ao3. Those are future dopamine stores, for when the current interests start having diminishing returns.
Well fuck I feel way less guilty about keeping all that shit now. Because I *will* get into it at some point. I get into all my art supplies within five years and I get into books within seven. I even get back into stuff I was previously engaged with and fell out with. It's a dopamine store that needed to recharge.
Cool.
I will also now be pleased instead of confused when people tag my fic "to read". It passed the quality threshold to be put in the emergency stores. High praise, that.
Hm. The Secret Social Recognition Euphoria when I realize I have successfully implemented a technique I learned in therapy for dealing with Alexithymia (identifying specific behaviors, identifying what I'm getting out of the behavior to identify the emotion at work, deciding what if anything I want to do about that) without prompting is pretty great. I love when therapy rewards me for using it and my ADHD gremlin gets rewarded for good behavior so I keep doing it. Great design there. Good job, therapists!
This is different than "this is being hoarded because I do not have the energy for New", which is an awful place to be in, but hoarding New Dopamine then will mean you have stores for later when things stabilize a bit and you do have energy for New. It actually takes the New Thing energy threshold down because it's right there, so you can skip the step of "looking for a New thing".
This is more "I could start that right now but tbh I don't really need it" which is a great place and very achievable to get to! Also, I am very pleased with myself for putting in the effort to get here. I am consciously noting that effort does work and pays off for the next time the depression hits. I am both doing better and doing well, and I should be proud of that.