hello transgender woman on reddit. before you is a transfem who is pre-everything asking about how to get a close shave on facial hair. if you reply "just get laser hair removal" a bomb will go off killing you instantly

safety razor and shaving butter is the way to go, in my experience!

razors with multiple blades tug and irritate my skin more often, and don't cut nearly as closely. and shaving cream is inconsistent with its actual viscosity and overall quality for the shave.

i keep a bit of shaving butter in my left hand at all times, and i keep my right hand for my razor, that way i dont make the handle all slippy.

also, since most safety razors have two sides, i recommend using one side for each half of your face! it spreads out the wear more evenly, making it easier to reuse them. i reuse blades for 2-3 shaves. i could probably reuse them for one or two more shaves, but i prefer not to take a chance.

to dispose of blades, i get a piece of packing tape to fold it into. the only way anyone's gonna get hurt by that is if they go out of their way to pry open the tape to get to the dangerous object.

the total cost of this was about $100 for the safety razor (this is the one i use), butter, and 100 blades, which i paid over a year ago. since then i havent spent a penny on shaving, and i foresee myself not needing to for a while longer. maybe on shaving butter, but that's it.

for actual shaving technique, i give my face 3 passes. once while going with the grain (the direction your hair is growing in), once taking the grain from the side, and once going against the grain. that usually leaves me smooth for a day and a half. with a bit of foundation, you can cover up the next day's stubble relatively easily.

shaving every day is bad for you, so i try to leave at least 2 days for the microcuts on my face from the razor to heal between shaves, and i recommend doing the same.

Excellent painting tutorial. In case you don't know the terms in the last description, "edge variation" means having "hard" or "soft" edges, where hard edges are crisp and good for high-detail, and soft edges are more blurry/smudged and are good for giving objects the appearance of receding in distance. In the painting above, the snake's eye uses hard edges, and its teeth and underside of the jaw use softer edges. "Occlusion shadows" are the absolute darkest parts because they are the areas where no light reaches, not even reflected or ambient light. They tend to be small and are used sparingly. Above, there's an occlusion shadow around the snake's eye. However, the shading of the eye was probably exaggerated to make it stand out more, since it's the focal point.

Saving for later!

STORYBOARD/ANIMATIC TIPS

ko-fi✏️

I made these for my friends, but I thought that might be helpful for yall as well! hehe! Now whenever someone asks for storyboard tips I can throw this at them!

Examples of storyboards I made for fun:

The internet is such a beautiful haunted echoey warehouse

Hot take: Actual literary analysis requires at least as much skill as writing itself, with less obvious measures of whether or not you’re shit at it, and nobody is allowed to do any more god damn litcrit until they learn what the terms “show, don’t tell” and “pacing” mean.

Pacing

The “pacing” of a piece of media comes down to one thing, and one thing only, and it has nothing to do with your personal level of interest. It comes down to this question alone: Is the piece of media making effective use of the time it has?

That’s it.

So, for example, things which are NOT a example of bad pacing include a piece of media that is:

Bad pacing IS when a piece of media has

Another note on pacing: There are, except arguably in standalone movies, at least two levels of pacing going on at any given time. There’s the pacing within the installment, and the pacing within the series. Generally, there’s three levels of pacing–within the installment (a chapter, an episode, a level), within the volume (a season, a novel, a game), and within the series as a whole. Sometimes, in fact FREQUENTLY, a piece of media will work on one of these levels but not on all of them. (Usually the ideal is that it works on all three, but that’s not always important! Not every individual chapter of a novel needs to be actively relevant to the entire overarching series.)

Honestly, the best possible masterclass in how to recognize good, bad, and “they tried their best but needed more space” pacing? If you want to learn this skill, and get better at recognizing it?

Doctor Who.

ESPECIALLY Classic Who, which has clearly-delineated “serials” within their seasons. You can pretty much pick any serial at random, and once you’ve seen a few of them, you get a REALLY good feel for things like, for example…

If you’re not actively trying to learn pacing, either for literary analysis or your own writing…honestly? Just learn to differentiate between whether the pacing is bad or if it just doesn’t appeal to you. There’s a WORLD of difference between “The pacing is too slow” and “the pacing is too slow for me.” 

“I really prefer a slower build into a universe; the fact that it opens in medias res and you piece together where you are and how the magic system works over the next several chapters from context is way too fast-paced for me and makes me feel lost, so I bounced off it” is, usually, a much more constructive commentary than “the pacing is bad”. 

And when the pacing really is bad, you’ll be doing everyone a favor by being able to actually articulate why.

Show, Don’t Tell

This is a very specific rule that has been taken dramatically out of context and is almost always used incorrectly.

“Show, don’t tell” applies to character traits and worldbuilding, not information in the plot.

It may be easier to “get” this rule if you forget the specific phrasing for a minute. This is a mnemonic device to avoid Informed Attributes, nothing more and nothing less. 

Character traits like a character being funny, smart, kind, annoying, badass, etc, should be established by their behavior in-universe and the reactions of others to them–if you just SAY they’re X thing but never show it, then you’re just telling the audience these things. Similarly you can’t just tell the audience that a setting has brutal winters and expect to be believed, when the clothing, architecture, preparations, etc shown as common in that setting do not match those that brutal winters would necessitate. 

To recap:

Violations of Show Don’t Tell:

NOT Violations of Show Don’t Tell:

Keep in mind that “Show, don’t tell” is meant to be advice for beginning authors. Because “telling” is easier and requires less skill than “showing,” inexperienced authors need to focus on getting as much “show” in as possible. 

However, “telling” is also extremely important. Sometimes, especially in written formats, the most appropriate way to deliver information to the audience is to just say it and move on.

Keep in mind that a viewpoint character in anything but…a portal fantasy, essentially…is going to be familiar with the world they’re in. Not every protagonist needs to be a raw newcomer with zero knowledge of their new world! In most cases, a viewpoint character is going to know things that the audience doesn’t. Generally, the ONLY natural way to introduce worldbuilding in this situation is to just have the narration point them out. (It makes sense for Obi-Wan to have to explain the Force; it would make no sense for Han to explain the concept of space travel to Luke, who grew up in this universe and knows what the hell a starship is. So, if you’re writing the novelization of A New Hope, you need to just say “and so they jumped into hyperspace, the strange blue-white plane that allowed faster-than-light travel” and move the hell on.)

For that matter, in some media (ie, children’s cartoons) where teaching a moral lesson is the clear intent, a certain level of “telling” is not only appropriate but necessary!

The actual goal of “showing” and “telling” is to maintain a balance, and make sure everything feels natural. Show things that need to be shown, and…don’t waste everyone’s time showing things that would feel much more natural if they were just told.

But that’s not nearly as pithy a slogan.

(Reblog this version y’all I fixed some really serious typos)

Quick addition: When you Show, you Slow.

Taking the time to Show something rather than simply Telling it slows the moment down–and that can be a good thing! When you want a moment to have real emotional impact, when you want the audience to linger and really connect with the scene, use Show to slow them down and really make them live in it. Use descriptive language, engage the senses, and make your audience spend some time with it.

This is Not always desirable. If you’re heavily Showing in moments that aren’t truly important, your audience will disengage and get impatient and then bored. I always err on the side of over showing in a first draft, over trimming to lots of telling in a second draft, then marrying them together in a third once I’ve gotten a better understanding of the pacing with the second Telling draft.

People often say to me: “You draw like some kind of inhuman machine.  If I eat your brain, will I gain your power?”  The answer is yes, but there is another way. The key to precise drawing is building up muscle memory so that your arm/hand/fingers do the things you want them to do when you want them to do them.  Teaching yourself to draw a straight line or to make sweet curves is just a matter of practice and there are some exercises you can do to help improve. If you’re going to be doodling in class or during meetings anyway, why not put that time to good use?

This is so important to mention to all artists. The reason PRACTISE improves drawing ability over time is it increases the literal, technical movement in your hands and arms through /muscle memory/.

THIS IS VERY GOOD, to all the people that like my lines. I do similar but less constructed doodles like these in my sketchbook all the time, it basically just teaches your hand how to move

dang, an actual useful and real "life hack" instead of those insane videos of people doing arts and crafts with a background of copyright free music

it is a video of a woman demonstrating how to put a sock on without bending over if you don't have a tool. Take a thin towel, and fold it into thirds or halves long ways and then in half horizontally. Put the sock on the folded end, making sure to get it all the way down to the toes. Drop the towel into position on the floor, then put your foot in the crevice made by the fold and slide it in. Pull the towel out.

holding yourself accountable and tearing yourself down are two different things

how to do it (asking seriously)

be aware of what you’ve done wrong. forgive yourself and learn from it rather than beating yourself up over it and thinking it’s just a part of you that can’t be changed. know that you can’t go back and undo it but also that in the future you can do better and not repeat the same regret. self hatred stemming from regret is hard to control, but it can be managed with patience and practice.

Since the OP made their post unrebloggable (and blocked me. Both actions they are well in with their right to do)

I'm going to make my response it's own post because I think the point is important

-

As someone who is autistic and has BPD and CPTSD and loads of trauma yes you sometimes need to change how you interact with others to keep people around

When I was 13 I hit the few friends I had when I was angry

I had to change that in order to keep those friendships

When I was in my early 20s if I was losing an disagreement with my husband I would threaten to kill myself. My husband told me it hurt him and was cruel and manipulative behaviour, because it was.

So I worked hard to change that to keep my relationship

It's easy to say "I shouldn't have to change for others" and that's true to an extent. You shouldn't change your interests or passions or dim your light. And you should have space to be imperfect and flawed and not have to pretend your ugly bits aren't real. But if something you are doing it causing other people harm you kinda need to change that.

That's called "living in a society"

People adapt to each other and make space for each other in their lives. You adapt to them and they adapt to you

You start being more diligent about throwing away the empty toilet roll because it really bothers them. They start warning you before they run the blender because you hate loud noises

I stopped threatening to kill myself because I was mad I was losing an argument and my husband stopped being so vocally judgemental amount media he personally dislikes

There is a certain type of person who heard the phrase "your emotions are valid" and took that to mean "my emotional reactions and my behaviour are always objectively correct because my emotions are valid and if you have an emotional response or react to what I'm doing negatively then you are wrong and you can't be hurt because my emotions are valid"

And that's a recipe for disaster

Your emotions are valid to feel. They are how you feel and there are reasons you feel the way you do

However, your reactions and behaviour are something you can learn to control and can be irrational

We live in a society and we as people change each other as we interact and that isn't necessarily a bad thing

My dear lgbt+ kids,

I feel like advice on loneliness comes in only three flavors:

Those are usually well-meant and I'm sure there are situations where they do help someone feel better - but they're definitely not universally applicable.

The first one is even plain wrong: connection is a basic human need. You can't just "change your mindset" and turn that off, the same way you can't turn off your need for food or air or mental stimulation. Humans are group animals. We absolutely need social interactions to stay healthy and sane. It is true that some people do not need a large number of friends and are happiest with just one or two close friends, and it is also true that some people prefer to fulfill their social needs in other ways than what's traditionally defined as friendship - but that's not something you can (or should) try to train yourself to do, that's just natural differences and preferences!

The only thing you could "train" yourself to do would be to learn to ignore your social needs and bury them deep down under layers of denial... and you don't need me to explain to you why that's a very unhealthy idea. It's sad enough that so many people have to do that to not lose their minds in loneliness, we certainly don't need to celebrate an unhealthy coping skill as a "superior mindset".

The other two at least get a bit closer to the truth: the solution for your unmet need is not to kill the need, but to fulfill it... but that's easier said than done, isn't it?

After all, "Don't worry, your friends love you!" doesn't help if you have no friends. Loneliness is not always "all in your head": Maybe you moved to a new place and don't know anyone there. Or you cut off contact with all your friends after a big fight. Or you grew up neurodivergent (or got mentally ill at a young age) and had no chance to learn how to make friends at the age most kids do, and by now you have been friendless for so long you don't even know where to start.

Same with "just go to a bar and talk to some new people" or "Take a pottery class and you'll meet some interesting people there" - that's not factually wrong, but also not helpful if the reason you feel lonely is that you struggle to make friends (or even struggle to just talk to people). Which can also be part of neurodivergence or mental illness, or just be a part of your personality (shyness), or be a result of isolating circumstances (like having spent a lot of time in a closed environment, for example a long hospital stay, and now feeling unsure how to connect with people outside of that environment). 

And those are just a few of the many, many possible explanations why someone may be lonely that require a more individualized approach - which is why we can’t solve loneliness with any one-size-fits-all solution.

That may be a somewhat disappointing-sounding conclusion in a letter on loneliness, so let me also tell you: hope and support are always within reach, even if it might take some time and patience to find them. The key is to remember that your feelings are valid and that you're not alone in your struggle.

First, recognize that admitting that you feel lonely, and wanting to take action based on that feeling, is a sign of strength, not weakness. You’re pretty insightful for recognizing your loneliness and super brave for wanting to reach out!

Secondly, be kind to yourself and allow yourself to take small steps. Small, actually manageable steps are crucial in any healing journey! If it’s not an option to just go to the bar or that pottery class, then it’s okay to start somewhere else. Maybe a therapist, a support group, or even online communities can be valuable “training sessions” for social connections. Even reaching out to one single person can make a significant difference over time. Your journey to finding companionship and connection might be different from someone else’s, but that doesn't make it any less valid (or achievable!).

Lastly, do consider embracing new activities that you may enjoy - but not just for the sake of meeting others. It’s important to nurture your own happiness and well-being when you’re feeling lonely. Those can be activities you can try out alone and even at home, for now! Anything that enriches your life is good. Long down the road, maybe it will lead to opportunities to connect with others, but even if it doesn’t: it’s important to incorporate new experiences into your life.

While there isn't a universal solution to loneliness, I truly believe there is a path forward for everyone. It's all about finding what works for you.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

Excellent post, I want to add that if you think like I do, I found it easier to put myself out there (start a conversation, share something about myself, be silly, anything) with the knowledge that lots of people are very lonely and maybe your reaching out is exactly what they need, they are just waiting for someone else to because they (like I am) are afraid of being rejected.

DEAR ARTISTS, PLEASE READ THIS POST I STUMBLED ACROSS

IF YOU ARE NOT DOING THIS ALREADY, YOU SHOULD TRY IT

I even tested it out myself, it works great

Ah yes the trick old as time, love it. I haven't practiced it much but when I did it did wonders like ofg.

collection of useful things tumblr has taught me:

even if you can't fall asleep, laying down with your eyes closed will still rest your body

you don't have to brush your teeth standing up

you don't have to do any chore standing up, from dishes to showering

you don't have to shower with the lights on

if you can't brush your teeth, flossing and a tongue scraper gets rid of plaque and bad breath

if you can't do that, mouthwash kills a lot of bacteria

eating "unhealthy" food is better than eating no food

you can make the same meal everyday for however long you still want it

some pills come in syrups or chewables if you can't swallow them

kids nutritional shakes can be a quick way to get fuel if you can't eat/don't have time

if walking hurts/exhausts you on a regular basis, canes and rollers are for you, no matter how young you are

we have free will—if doing something "out of the ordinary" makes life easier for you, do it

I turn 30 next month so here’s what I learned in my 20s:

—don’t work for startups, they’re always one ‘innovative idea’ away adding ‘sell your kidneys on the black market’ to your job description.

—keeping a collection of basic OTC medicine on you will save your life one day. I recommend Advil, Imodium, and TUMS.

—those little single-use glasses cleaning wipes are 1000% worth the money

—overly self-depreciating jokes just make people uncomfortable, wean yourself off of them

—you can buy dehydrated mini marshmallows in bulk online and they’re a godsend for hot cocoa

—people don’t care if you have fidget toys on your desk they just want to play with them

—try to go to bed BEFORE the existential ennui kicks in

Also drink water and eat a plant

This is all GREAT. I turned 40 last week, so permit me to add what I learned in my 30s:

I turn 50 this year. what I have learned in my 40s:

Just turned 60 and let me say:

This is too tempting…, so, I’m 74, and: don’t fund startups

Please keep stretching and exercise enough NOT to need an elaborate strategy to get up from the floor. IT MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE

Say bye to your employer as early as you possibly can, unless you really love your job. You won’t be sorry.

Keep doing the annual checkups 🙏🏼

Enjoy that fucking hobby you’ve acquired in your 50, or find something new. Do try new things & adventures.

There is no one way to write fiction. Outside of the mechanics of writing in a given language, there are no definitive right answers. But one thing I encourage writers to embrace is letting dialogue stand alone a little more often.

Not every line of dialogue needs to be nestled into narrative prose. If it's clear who's speaking, sometimes it really is the better choice to just let some of the dialogue be. No dialogue attribution, no actions, no descriptions, just the spoken lines by themselves.

I think sometimes people are afraid of that choice. They feel like dialogue in isolation is lacking something. But depending on what you're trying to do, it can actually be the more effective and impactful call.

Sometimes less really is more. Not everything needs to be described.

Addendum here: I will own my clear biases. For all my stylistic bullshit, and god knows I have my share, I write "voice-y" prose and my fiction is dialogue driven. I could write long narrative passages and a lot of lush descriptive prose, but I don't because I don't want to. It's a choice.

That being said, even if you do favor long narrative passages and a lot of lush descriptive prose, don't sell your dialogue short! Let it have its moment in the spotlight.

hi i'd also like to suggest, as a troubleshooting thing, that one reason you might be blocked on writing is that you've gotten into a punishment loop. you're scared to write, not for trivial or pathetic reasons, but because any time you approach writing, some guy starts screaming at you that you're a worthless piece of shit and that you could die without accomplishing anything meaningful. this guy continues screaming at you the entire time you're approaching this activity, and continues screaming at you for running away from it, too, until you find something else to do that's distracting enough that you can ignore him again. if you ever turn back around and approach writing again, there this guy is, screaming at you.

like, fuck, man, if i could only eat ice cream while some sadistic drill sergeant motherfucker gave me an existential crisis, i don't think it would take very many days before i was too scared to even open the fridge. after another week i probably wouldn't go into the kitchen. if he followed me around berating me for my piss-poor ice cream eating skills and told me all my teachers died ashamed of my pathetic inability to eat an ice cream, a skill even babies master, i would probably slip out my bedroom window in the night and move to the sahara desert.

so like, whether or not you ever write another word, you need to get rid of that drill sergeant in your head before he squeezes you out the window of your own skull. you're a valuable human being with worth and dignity, and you still would be even if you were the most illiterate motherfucker in the world. writing is not confirmation that you matter, that your education meant anything, that you finally have value to the world, that you're validating other people's investment in you. teachers taught you because they love to teach. your parents raised you because they loved their kid. you don't have to spend your whole life trying to pay back the debt of being born, being raised, being taught. you weren't a waste of anyone's time and effort in the first place.

and your gifts--whatever they were--were gifts, not debts you signed up for at birth and are now honor-bound to repay. a gift is something YOU get, for FREE, and it's for YOU. or else it's not a gift.

your gift for writing was so that you could enjoy this thing that came to you easily and enjoyably. you don't owe the world anything more than loving what it gave you--and you don't owe yourself anything less.

tell that miserable, sadistic, joy-killing drill sergeant in your head to get fucked. once he's gone, check the freezer and see what's in there for you.

You won't be able to hate yourself into productivity.

Anyone ever put off starting a series or getting into a new craft or activity because you're current stimuli are doing you quite nicely and you KNOW there's heaps of dopamine stored in that new thing so you're saving it for whenever your next major depressive episode hits like a pika hoarding grass for winter or do I just have severe ADHD?

Oh hang on a minute.

That's why so many of us have piles of books on our shelves we haven't read or to-read collections on Ao3. Those are future dopamine stores, for when the current interests start having diminishing returns.

Well fuck I feel way less guilty about keeping all that shit now. Because I *will* get into it at some point. I get into all my art supplies within five years and I get into books within seven. I even get back into stuff I was previously engaged with and fell out with. It's a dopamine store that needed to recharge.

Cool.

I will also now be pleased instead of confused when people tag my fic "to read". It passed the quality threshold to be put in the emergency stores. High praise, that.

Hm. The Secret Social Recognition Euphoria when I realize I have successfully implemented a technique I learned in therapy for dealing with Alexithymia (identifying specific behaviors, identifying what I'm getting out of the behavior to identify the emotion at work, deciding what if anything I want to do about that) without prompting is pretty great. I love when therapy rewards me for using it and my ADHD gremlin gets rewarded for good behavior so I keep doing it. Great design there. Good job, therapists!

This is different than "this is being hoarded because I do not have the energy for New", which is an awful place to be in, but hoarding New Dopamine then will mean you have stores for later when things stabilize a bit and you do have energy for New. It actually takes the New Thing energy threshold down because it's right there, so you can skip the step of "looking for a New thing".

This is more "I could start that right now but tbh I don't really need it" which is a great place and very achievable to get to! Also, I am very pleased with myself for putting in the effort to get here. I am consciously noting that effort does work and pays off for the next time the depression hits. I am both doing better and doing well, and I should be proud of that.