Hypothetical: a very close friend or family member is in financial distress. They ask for your help and genuinely intend to pay you back at some point. They aren't deliberately putting themselves in this situation, but this is not the first time this has happened.
You're capable of helping financially, but you know it won't solve the bigger, recurring problem. It would just cover the most basic needs (like food or rent) for this instance.
Anon's mother is not good with money and has had bad luck with partners and exes who left her to deal with their shared debts. She's always helped others when they needed it, and though she feels bad about it, she still keeps asking anon's siblings and other relatives to help her out in these situations.
Anon has managed to build up some savings by living frugally, but they're not rich. They love their mum, and want her to have what she needs, but things never change fundamentally. Anon is interested to see what the general tumblr populace would do in a similar situation.
–
We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.
Depends on how frequently help is needed, how much is needed, and if I think it will help them put their life back together or just enable them. I've dug family out of holes and I've backed away completely. Someone's home burns down in a horrible accident? Yes and I'd refuse any money they tried to repay me. Someone got laid off but I know they're hard working and will get their feet under them quickly? Yeah absolutely I'd give them money, maybe accept repayment depending on how much they needed. Someone is a half million dollars in debt from gambling? I wouldn't hand them money but I'll make sure they have food and shelter. Someone always is begging for money claiming they can't afford groceries but they miraculously always have money for high end luxury clothes and cars? No, at a point its not helpful its more enabling.
Where that line is differs for everyone and every situation is different. You don't owe your family everything you have and ever will have. Setting boundaries is totally up to every one of us. Anon if you read this please set whatever boundaries you think are appropriate. That could be limiting how much you give her before she pays you back (partial payment or complete), it could be giving her only a set amount in a week/month/year/5 years/whatever, it could be cutting all direct financial support and just giving her food/supplies, it could be paying for certain essential bills when you are willing and able to, it could be limiting your contact with her if you feel like she's not respecting you/your finances/your boundaries. None of these mean you love her any less. Supporting family is great but that support should be the kind you are willing and able to give, no use drowning yourself to pull them out of the water.