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@caterwaulonfire

thirty-something white cis queer lady. settler in so-called canada. DIE NAZI SCUM. avatar photo by guremike [guremike.jp] and header photo holo taco x safiya nygaard [holotaco.com]
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Anonymous asked:

Quick question, who is the patriarchy and whose benefits have motivated its existence for thousands of years? Who oppresses the women?

Men are not the patriarchy. They are human beings. The patriarchy is not a person or group of people. It is a societally ingrained system that leads to the oppression of women and gender minorities, while typically privileging those considered the patriarchal ideal (especially cisgender white men). It is maintained by anyone in our society who perpetuates it, including people of any gender who have not unpacked the sexism we all learn. Those considered the patriarchal ideal have the most power to utilize this system, but it can be used to hurt anyone of any gender, especially if they step out of line. None of this means we should exclude anyone of any gender from our feminism and antisexist movements. It is exactly why I include them.

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Got off a video call with my grandma. Asked her what sort of American foods she was enjoying (my dad flew her in from Korea and she's staying with him in Phoenix rn). She said most of the food isn't too impressive but she's addicted to a specific candy, and when she held up a bag of Werther's Originals I started howling

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reblogged

This close to just not selling books to Canada any more. Purolator I am so sick of your shit.

Once back in 2012 or so I ordered a desktop computer that shipped via Purolator, and they failed at getting it anywhere near my house so I had to go pick it up from the distribution centre. But I didn't have a car and couldn't reliably and in a timely fashion get a ride from anyone who did. So I had to lug a full-size tower a few blocks down the street on foot from the distribution centre to the train station, then onto the train and the bus.

I have not ordered anything that ships through Purolator since.

They're just awful at their jobs. So far, with the 250-ish book orders I've fulfilled through ko-fi, I've gotten four shipping issues. One is something being lost in (or possibly before it reaches) a USPS warehouse and the other three are all Puralator. Which, given that about half of my orders are to the USA and I have sent only twelve packages to Canada, is a bad ratio. Law of small numbers and all that but if you're gonna be fucking up a full 25% of the stuff I send you, Puralator, I'm really starting to wonder whether this is worth my time or my customers' time. Canadians might just have a better time buying my books through their bookshops or normal digital storefronts -- the better shipping services provided by bookshops might make the higher price worth it.

Before anyone suggests other companies, I don't choose the shipping company. The orders go out direct from the printer.

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captdonavin

As a Canadian who hasn't bought my books yet:

Our postal service (at least in British Columbia) has gone on strike and apparently Purolator is standing with them. So, shipping for the next while to Canada (at least BC) is going to be a little crazy.

Well at least it'll be crazy for righteous reasons instead of its current incompetence reasons

the CUPW strike is nation-wide. here's a statement from the union, and some additional info.

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3liza

dog tip: it's called a play bow and they do it because they think you're playing, or want you to play, usually to play chase/tag/keepaway. if you need to catch your dog for safety reasons or to leave the dog park or something, get their attention, do the same sort of stance at them, and then run away. 99% of dogs will chase you, and then you can safely grab them

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weaselle

That's a good tip! I work with dogs and one of the first things you learn is when a dog slips their leash you never chase them, it's much better to move away from them. Chase them and they'll run. Move away and they're likely to move with you. Of course when they make it a game they can be nearly impossible to catch a hold of.

Some dogs are more prone to this make-you-caatch-them-to-leave-the-dog-park game than others ... since my dog is mostly husky, i knew he'd try it, and i knew that's not how i wanted to spend my time with him. (almost every single husky owner i've ever met has had trouble catching their dog to leave the dog park)

The first thing i did was never move toward him when it was time to leave. When he was a puppy, when it was time to leave the park I would call him as i walked away, toward the little double gate.

Since i worked recall with him extensively, this worked well. Additionally, i never tried to get a hold of his collar until we were in the little space between the gates, where he couldn't get away from me even if he tried.

All i was doing was controlling his experience. My goal was that in his lifetime, me wanting to go, NEVER ONCE turned into a fun game of catch me if you can. EVERY time i tried to get a hold of his collar, i was able to. Not because i was super athletic (nobody is more athletic than an active dog) but because i never tried to unless i was positive i could. So in his experience, i was able to grab him 100% of the time i made the attempt.

But i knew the day was coming. So i planned what i would do. I've found that when raising/training dogs, knowing ahead of time what you will do if/when they don't do what you want them to makes a HUGE difference. You'll always be calm, never desperate, have an air of confidence, they never pick up on you feeling like they are outsmarting you, you just decide ahead of time "this is what i want them to do, and if they don't do it, i will do this about it" Keeps you calm and in control of yourself, and they can sense that.

So anyway, the day came, one day when he was about a year old. I called him as i walked toward the gate, and he came as usual, but then halfway to me, he stopped and acted, you know, that way dogs act when they decide you'll have to catch them first.

But i knew what i was going to do. So i just left. I left him at the dog park, and I walked across the street, and i sat down on the curb in between two cars where he couldn't see me but i could lean out a little and see him in the dog park.

I called the person i was supposed to meet and told them i'd be a little late, and then i sat there.

First Badger acted like a kid who doesn't come in off the playground when the end of recess bell rings. He ran around playful and full of himself.

But after about ten minutes, he began to act a little worried. I waited another five minutes to let him really feel it, until i could tell he was actually concerned, then I walked up to the gate and called him.

He never tried it again.

I wasn't being needlessly cruel. My life is often somewhat chaotic, and my dog goes a lot of places with me in a lot of circumstances. I needed him to understand that if i HAD to leave, and I was telling him he had to go, the risk he was taking was getting left behind (not that i would but then Not Leaving Him In Danger became the barrel he would have me over and he'd have no way to know that's what he was using to hold me hostage, and possibly keeping us both in danger)

Basically, it was no game to be played, so it was my responsibility to make sure i never let him think it could be a game. Even if it would have been fun for me also a time or two. We have plenty of other games to play.

It was similar to the vacuum cleaner. The first time people get out the vacuum and their puppy does little growls and mock charges, it is SO tempting to laugh at how cute it is and have fun provoking your puppy. But that's how you get a dog that tries to attack the vacuum every time you clean the house.

The first time i saw ten week old Badger growl at the vacuum, i left it running while i sat down with my back to it ignoring it and called him over to work on other training with him like the vacuum was super unimportant. And that's how you get a dog that doesn't care about the vacuum. You do have to trade those first few times of teasing your dog and watching the cute little show. But you get a lifetime of the behavior you actually want.

Anyway, Badger has never once hit me with a play bow when i need to leash him, because i've never let him think it's a game we can play.

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How to Ditch Amazon

Support your local libraries and the small businesses that are actually making the products you want.  Fuck Jeff Bezos and the systemic, universal worker abuse, gaslighting, and brutality they live off of.

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bladelei

this seems like a good thing to bring around as people holiday shop

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savastasia

How are disabled and interracial illegal???

Interracial marriage was outlawed for the longest time, and disabled people lose government benefits when they get married so they cannot have reassurance that they will continue to LIVE if they get married.

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rxbiteme

Story time: my mom is white, dad is black. They’ve been together twenty four years, married for twenty three. When my parents were dating they did it on the low TO KEEP MY DAD SAFE.

My mom’s parents said “We don’t care who you love.” At that point she’d only ever brought home white guys. She brought my dad home-her mother called her a nigger lover and damned the relationship as much as possible. Her father grew around his prejudices after I was born but never apologized, just wasn’t a blatant fuck.

The day she introduced my father to her family was the last time she spoke to her mother for over twenty years. When I was getting sick and she called and asked her mother and grandmother if anyone in the family had anything strange happen similar what I was going through they told her “it’s because you married a black man. You made your bed, you lie in it.”

Cops pulled them over all the time and asked my mom IF SHE WAS OKAY AND IF SHE NEEDED HELP BECAUSE MY FATHER-A BLACK MAN-WAS DRIVING A 100 POUND WHITE WOMAN AROUND. HE WAS HARRASSED AND THREATED WITH ARREST.

My father ended up getting into a fight in self defence because some entitled hick decided he didn’t like seeing a black man and white woman in the bar together. Thankfully other patrons helped my father but he still couldn’t go to the er for his injuries. My mom patched him up and they were terrified the cops would take him away.

THEIR BEST FRIEND GOT LICENSED TO MARRY THEM SO THEY COULD ACTUALLY TIE THE KNOT BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WOULD AND CITED JIM CROW ERA LAW AS TO WHY.

When shopping with just me my father wouldn’t hold my hand if there was a group around. Why? I’m far lighter than him and people had stopped and asked him “whose child is that?” Or “little girl where’s your parents?” and were stunned when I grinned and pointed at my dad and proudly proclaimed “my daddy’s right here.” You know where else mixed kids couldn’t hold their parents hands? Apartheid South Africa. We live in fucking FLORIDA.

So yeah. Some history for you.

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kari-izumi

This post was made in October 2018. The above poster’s parents met in 1994. We were a generation removed from the Civil Rights movement and this was happening.

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If your democrat friends start muttering about stolen election conspiracy theories, the time to have a sit down with them and express your concerns is NOW, while you still have a chance to reach them, not 6 months from now when they're fully conspiracy-pilled.

Here's some of the talking points and why they're bullshit:

  • '10 million votes don't just disappear!' -> Joe Biden's 81 million votes were a statistical outlier, sparked by the recent experience of the Trump presidency. The democrats failed to maintain that sense of urgency, but Harris still got more votes than Hillary Clinton, more than Obama and more than any previous democratic candidate. These numbers are not weird at all.
  • 'The Republicans tried to infiltrate election- and vote counting organizations!' -> yeah, they did, and yet hundreds of independent legal observers didn't see anything go wrong enough to raise any alarms. Independent exit polls are also very consistently similar to the counted votes. Tons of international organizations specialized in this stuff observed the election and didn't see a reason to raise the alarm.
  • 'But I know a dozen democrats whose mail-in votes were not counted!' -> In any election a certain number of votes are registered as invalid because something was wrong with the ballot. In a country the size of the US, that translates to many thousands of votes. The internet allows these people to find each other, creating the false impression that a suspiciously large group of votes was not valid.
  • 'Musk used Star Link to mess with electronic voting!' -> Electronic voting machines are not connected to the internet and dozens of independent media have already debunked this myth. It is absolutely impossible to use Star Link to fake election results.
  • 'There is voter disenfranchisement!' -> This is true. This has always been true, for every election. It's an issue worth talking about but it's not a special secret conspiracy that's unique to this election.

But just as importantly as the facts: sit down with your friend and talk about the anxiety that's behind their conspiracy leanings. Acknowledge their pain and fear. Help them find ways to feel less powerless and regain their sense of agency. Take them to a mutual aid event, involve them in a fundraising event for a marginalized group, invite them to a local community effort. If they spend more time feeling connection and empowerment and less time doom scrolling online, they're far more likely to stay in reality.

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particularj

It’s complicated, but in a way, yes. Democrat-appointed FTC Chair Lina Khan has taken many pro-consumer actions. In this case, she used the FTC’s power regulating unfair business practices in conjunction with a rule commenting period opened for the Copyright Office and proposed rules and changes earlier this year.

Essentially, through her actions, the new rules break the McDonald’s & Taylor monopoly (the ice cream machine manufacturer) by allowing restaurant owners and franchisees the ‘right to repair’ their own equipment. Previously, owners had to wait on and only utilize Taylor’s technicians and parts lest they void the warranty (at which point Taylor won’t service the proprietary equipment anymore, leaving the owner pretty screwed).

At any given time, as many as 32% of the machines are broken…because the machines break frequently and are a hassle to clean. Others have managed to debug the confounding errors and menus (since Taylor refuses to share the operations manual) and created easy-to-replace parts to help keep the machines running, but until now they had been in murky legal territory and even sued.

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