Cis people who don't know much about gender stuff but are genuinely trying to be respectful are so cute
Today a girl in class told me I look pretty and she immediately froze and said "wait no. Handsome? Good, you look good" and I'm like Vanesa I would kill for you
Genuinely tho like. Trans people notice when you put in the effort. When you correct yourself after misgendering us, we notice. When you put thought into the language you use for us, we notice. Just basic consideration and respect is surprisingly rare from anyone who's not a close friend, so when you put like, any thought at all into how to respect our identity, we notice.
I know we're not supposed to reward people for doing shit that should be the standard, but it isn't the standard right now, and if we don't acknowledge people who are getting shit right then the standard isnt ever gonna change. So from the bottom of my heart, to all the cis people out there putting genuine effort into helping the trans people in your life feel comfortable and respected, thank you.
The tattoo artist I'm seeing had an Instagram post where she used a clients they/them pronouns, and when I mentioned that I loved seeing that post and that it made me feel safer coming to her shop, she immediately apologized for sometimes messing it up.
And I was like "no. you are fine. you're making the effort. we notice and care. I accidentally use the wrong pronouns for my friends sometimes (and apologize). I accidentally misgender myself soemtimes. it's the people that don't make an effort who we get mad at. you guys have a place for pronouns on your waiver forms"
And she was so relieved to hear that. I get the feeling she doesn't have anybody she's close to that use different pronouns. And so it was important for her to have the opportunity to talk to an enby so that she could learn. And hopefully learning that we just want you to try will empower her to feel less scared of messing up and able to learn even more.