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Cassidy Leora

@cassidyleora / cassidyleora.tumblr.com

Pretty Kitty**可愛いにゃん子 The Dark Princess of the Internet Cass/23/Aspie •About Me •Commissions: Open!
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enii

The next time we meet, I will never let you go💕

#tw pet death#my family's beloved dog passed away two? three? days ago. times a blur rn#ten years of Dottie (short for Dorothy and her spotted leggies) crushing me with her giant weight nearly every day to get in my lap#found her terrified and alone hiding under a car at an abandoned gas station in the middle of a storm near my ex's house#literally storybook tragic backstory. throughout her life she has PTSD triggered by storms and loud noises. she'd leap in your arms whining#hugs were the only thing that calmed her down. without them she often had seizures. one time so back they thought her paralyzed back legs#may never work again. but wouldn't you know it? they did. she lived so playful and free#which is why it was such a shock when we took her in after she stopped eating to find out her liver was completely failed likely from cancer#overnight she stopped being able to walk. said they'd guess she'd have 24 hours left at most. i still can't believe it all#the day before i had tossed her obnoxiously giant tennis ball for her. i has taught her how to drop it in my hands years ago.#the night before i cleared off her couch but when she wouldn't move i got on the floor and put her a while. kissed her head and nose.#I'm glad i spent that time with her now. I've no doubt we did all we could and gave her the best life possible--no regrets at all#i remember reading somewhere that grief is just love that no longer has anywhere to go. that feels so true. the house feels wrong and empty#time will heal but for now i don't know what to do with myself. just clinging to my pets every chance i get#personal
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