‘are you decent?’  not morally, but im wearing pants, if thats what youre asking

- this is either Fives or Jesse for sure

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(sorry for bringin’ Star Wars into this post u.u)

what you call home (is a box of memories)

There’s a place at the end of the road

Where our lives turn to light pure as gold

Where the past is just a sparkle of time

And the world is all good by design

- Andrew’s Song by IMAscore

CC-1010 pushes the offered ration pack away from himself. He knows he should eat it, after all he is leading the Coruscant Guard after defective ARC Trooper CT-27-5555 but he can barely stomach the idea of anything solid right now. His head’s been swimming for the last two days. The day that CT-5555 first started causing… something Fox’s head went fuzzy and blank. He can’t remember his own name, although he has an idea of it. 

CC-1010 knows that the time correlation should be noted, but for the life of him he can’t figure out why. CC-4477 doesn’t say anything as CC-1010 more firmly pushes the ration pack away. 

“Fox—” Right. Fox. That was his name. Was. But right now it doesn’t seem right. Right now, the LAATi is setting down, and they’re storming the warehouse. 

                                                                               ***

“Vod-kyramud.” Brother Killer. Fox recognizes the harshly snarled words and it makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up; the cold fury in the voice feels like a knife in his spine. 

Continua a leggere

I'm sobbing...like literally crying my eyes out.

This is written so clearly and simple but i does the trick, hurting so well.

This part

“You see, that’s the problem,” Kix tells Anakin in the one and only com call Anakin gets from him after the GAR is disbanded and the clones are freed. “The only peace we knew was death. War still lives in our heads. That’s the curse of being soldiers with no roots, soldiers who were slaves and cannon fodder. We lived for so long believing that we were meant for the grave that even without freedom we still can’t help but find the roads to the grave, to the only peace we ever knew, anyway. And there’s nothing anyone can do to change that. The damage has already been done. Eventually every single clone will find his way to an early grave. No one can change that. We were created for death, regardless as to whether the path to it is war or not.” 

Is everything, i care for this concept so much, from the first time i started caring about clones, from the first time i started loving them.

I have my special ones, but for this exact thought i care for each and every one of them and i get hurt so much because they truly deserved better. I'm seariously hurt.

(Also can i use that concept in something? I need to create something utterly dark again and this is perfect)

Thank u ❤

i don’t wanna be an island, i just wanna feel alive (and get to see your face again)

read on ao3

Yeah….this one hurt to write. Written for @painkiller80‘s Fives Week 2020. Enjoy?

————————————————

Day 2- Family

All his life, Fives had never been alone.

Really, this was true for every clone. They were all brought up in tight quarters, sharing everything with millions of other brothers on Kamino. They died on the battlefield surrounded by their brothers. Loneliness was not a concept clones normally experienced or understood.

And it was especially true for Fives. He’d had someone by his side from the very beginning. Even before he was decanted, he’d had the steady presence of Echo. He may not remember his earliest moments and years, but for as far back as he could remember, it had been one of those unshakable truths: the Jedi are a strange lot of people, the Separatists and Republic are at war, and Fives will always be with Echo.

Every step of the way, they’d been together. Decanted from the same tube, a rare case of clone twins. Side-by-side through their cadet cycles, training on Kamino, their first assignments after graduating. Every step of the way, he’d had Echo, his longest and truest friend. They’d survived losing the rest of their batchmates together. Survived the assault on Kamino and 99’s death. Gone through the hell that was ARC training together. It had felt like he’d always have him by his side, like whatever hell the war threw at them, they’d get through it if they did it together.  

He should have known it was a foolish thought.

Continua a leggere

"The last Domino standing" 😭😭😭

Catch me ugly crying first thing in the morning. Thank you, i love this.

shitpost based off some tweets

I just imagined this conversation between the three of them before more shenanigans ensue

Promise me, Jesse

Part two my friends ;). Or should I say round two of complete agonizing pain?

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

"How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you."

Kix rolled his eyes as he slipped out the door silently. Walking down the hall. He didn't dare make a noise, he took the stairs. No one stopped him. No one had heard anything. He knew in a few weeks he'd be marked a deserter, but by then, he would have figured out what was going on, and he would com Jesse, buy him a drink, and they'd leave together. Maybe be a farmer. That sounded nice.

For weeks, Kix worked. He found himself trying to com Jesse, but he always stopped. That was something he couldn't do. Kix had a job to do. It took weeks but he got it. He got it. He ran and ran, trying to reach his General or his Captain, but he felt himself hitting the ground, and it all went black.

Kix let out a cough as he fell to the floor, "Coruscant! Take me Coruscant! To Jedi General Anakin Skywalker!" Kix coughed as he sat up, pushing away whoever freed him. It was then Kix learned the truth. He doesn't exist now, survived by his son and all of his brand new friends. No! No! Kix refused to believe that. It didn't matter though, because it was true.

He grew out his hair, grew a beard, broke his nose. Anything to make his face different from his brothers' faces. They were extinct. He was all that was left, the last clone. Kix sobbed quietly everyday for months, regretting all he'd done.

He should had let Jesse come. He should have just let it go. Left with Jesse and become farmers. Maybe recruit Rex, and even if he didn't come, Kix knew Rex wouldn't tell. Rex is dead- Kix cut off his thoughts. Jesse was dead. They were ALL DEAD! Kix scolded himself for being so niave. He should have known digging up this secret would kill him. Everything killed clones! Even each other.

But that wasn't good enough, Kix wanted to know what happened, if anyone survived, if anyone lived past the plague. There was one. One last relic of the old Republic besides him. Ahsoka Tano. He'd found the last Jedi in her late eighties, she'd kept calling him Rex, Kix didn't care, she was alive! Old but alive. It didn't help his pain though, she'd die any day. So he had one request. She accepted as long as he honored hers.

With his new crew and old Commander, they landed on a moon. She walked slowly with a cane, stopping once they were a respectable distance from the destroyed cruisor. Kix took each step with hesitation. He looked down and let out a sob when he'd kicked a rock, only to see it was a helmet. But it wasn't any helmet. No, it was Jesse's. "Oh, Jesse." Kix fell to his knees. This was the best and worst news of his life. He knew what happened to Jesse, but he hadn't been there to die by his side.

He put his hand on the helmet stuck in hardened dirt and sang, "You were my sunshine, my only sunshine" and he sang. The other bounty hunters granted the man his moment, eyeing the old woman as if she'd die at any moment. And perhaps she did, or maybe the clone had drugged them. For she disappeared, in the blink of an eye she was gone. It had to be real, for there lay her robe and cane.

"You'll never know, Jesse, how much I loved you-" Kix stopped as he let out a sob, in desperation he'd pulled Jesse's helmet from the dirt, clawing it free. He then pressed it to his forehead, he sat there alone, feeling a cold wind blow on him, the wind whispered his name. He chuckled, Kix remembered when Jesse would sing him that song.

Kix would wake up because of a nightmare and crawl into Jesse's bed. Jesse would wake up, pull his brother close and sing to him, he'd sing the same song, but that didn't matter, because it was Jesse singing it, and all the bad went away. Kix felt like this was a nightmare. That any moment he'd wake up in the cold barracks on Coruscant, he could even hear Jesse's voice

"Please don't take my sunshine away."

I only have one feeling at the moment...PAIN!! 😭😭😭😭😭

Promise me, Kix

Beautiful day :) this is a two part, the second part is coming out later today.

I give you nothing to go off of but you will cry. Also- I don't care if this isn't accurate I like the idea of them saying goodbye.

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

"Promise drinks?" Jesse asked as he hugged his brother goodbye, "Come to 79s and ya buy me a scotch?" He continued as he pulled out of the hug looking at his brother. He'd been so paranoid lately, so, he was leaving. No one knew, not the Captain, not the General. Just Jesse and his best friend.

"I promise," Kix smirked as he sniffled. He begged Jesse to come and help him, but the poor medic felt he was losing his mind, "I'm on the verge of something big, I know it." He said, eyeing everyone in the barracks, "And when I figure it, I'll, I'll com you then and buy you that scotch." Kix looked to Jesse, patting him on his shoulder. "I love you, Jesse, please stay alive"

"I love you too, Kix," Jesse smiled as Kix grabbed his bag and headed to the barrack door, Jesse watched and raised an eyebrow when Kix turned around.

"Don't do anything stupid."

"How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you."

Kix smirked and gave his brother one last look. Then Jesse was alone. He felt that familiar feeling sink in. That feeling of being alone, he'd grown all too familiar with it. The only difference, Kix wasn't by his side this time. For weeks Jesse waited for a com, jumping awake to answer it and to be disappointed. The Captain reported Kix as a deserter, just as he'd planned. Jesse was suppose to wait for his com, then he'd grab Rex and get them outta this war. But if Rex didn't want to go, they knew he'd lie for them.

Night after night, day after day. Jesse waited and there was nothing. He'd com Kix every night, no answer, "He's dead, isn't he?" Jesse mumbled as he sat alone. He'd been denying it for months and now he was heading to Mandalore, he'd probably die. He was beginning to think he did want to die. He'd find out what happened to his brother. He'd leave Rex behind, he knew that, but maybe a part of him was okay with that. The Captain had Ahsoka after all. Who did Jesse have? He had Kix. But Kix was gone. So maybe, maybe he did want to die.

He didn't want to die. No, he didn't. Standing face to face with a man that could kill him just as Krell killed his brothers. No, he wasn't gonna let this man win, Jesse refused, as any soldier must. But, Maul was too powerful. He never threatened with a lightsaber, no, he threatened with the force. Jesse tried to resist it, he tried and tried, but mind tricks work on the weak. And Jesse was weak.

He told Maul everything, the man broke into his mind and took everything, Jesse told him everything. He couldn't stand it. As he sat on his knees, feeling helpless and ashamed, he'd looked up and for a moment, he saw Kix. That's when he knew. He wouldn't have seen Kix if he was alive. "My brother is dead" he'd told Rex once they were safely alone. Jesse thought back in those moments. As he took each hazy step he prepared to find himself in the air to meet his doom. But he hadn't. He was able to hug Rex, Jesse got to live. Maul hadn't killed him, but, maybe, just maybe Jesse wanted him to.

Maybe he did want to die. If he had died, Maul wouldn't have learned all he had. No, no, he didn't want to die. He wanted to be with Kix. Jesse thought of the night he found Kix packing his bags, Jesse had begged to go with him, he should have started packing his own bag anyway. Kix would have given in, that Jesse knew. They could've left this damned life behind, maybe become farmers.

Now he was heading back to Coruscant. They'd captured Maul, then he got the order. He ran into the command room, and then it was all a blur. Nothing made sense as he felt himself go numb and yet, his body kept moving. All parts of his mind were gone except this one message flashing like a sign, "Kill the Jedi" Why was he doing this? He didn't know.

Fire. That's what woke him from his dizzy trance. His head was pounding, he was bleeding out, he was going to die. He smiled, he'd get to see Kix. But then he saw the shinies. They were still too young to hate war as Jesse and Rex had learned to. So he reached his hands out and sung, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine."

Jesse finally cried as he saw him and Kix laughing together yet again, enjoying those warm planets, eating some bread. He saw them happy again, and for a moment, even if it was only a moment, he felt no pain as he sung, "You'll never know, how much I love you all-" The ship hit the ground and it went black. He felt the metal cut through him, but it was a momentary pang. He never finished the song, but still it was sung,

"Please don't take, my sunshine away."

Rational thought: it's beautifully written ❤

Emotional thought:

Why? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

rex comes to stand next to ahsoka in front of the lines of helmets held up on spikes. regards each and every one, variation in their design amidst the ranks. he can recognize each unique scratch above visors or on scalps, see those whose coat of paint was new and spruce and those whose coat of paint was worn and flaking. he can see those who were painted a beautiful shade of sunset orange, white markings of diamonds and lines on their foreheads. he can see those who do not hold any shade of paint at all, the ivory of shinies inducted into the 332nd kept clean save for the ashes atop their plastoid. he can see those with the same shade of blue they’ve always had, forming triangles down the center of their buckets, of unique designs pertaining to the brothers he had known long ago.

his eyes drift towards the clone helmet at the center front, held up on a spike for all to see. the visor outlined by a shade of blue, the republic cog he was so famously known for painted in a gray that flakes off the edge. old, belonging to one of a vet, of one who had led the charge back on saleucami when he could not, of one who took the opportunity to do what was right and risk his life flying those umbaran fighters up to the mothership above. jesse. arc trooper jesse. gone.

( he had died in rex’s arms just hours before. had died once the ship collapsed upon the ground, crawling out of the remains in an attempt to seek vengeance once more. lodged into his stomach was a piece of durasteel. he collapsed three steps in.

rex had cradled him in his arms, sobbing pitifully as he held his brother with trembling hands, clutching to him so tight it could’ve made the pain worse. but it wouldn’t be much of a difference — jesse was dying. rex had reached over, slipped jesse’s bucket from over his head, coming face to face with the trooper he had loved like his own flesh and blood. pain contorting his face, mouth pulled into a grit of teeth, tears falling down his cheek as he gasps for air. smothered in nothing but grime and blood. 

jesse attempts to reach for his blaster, still overtaken by the chip, but rex throws it away before he has the chance. then jesse grabs at his neck, attempting to strangle him. rex latches onto it before he makes it to his throat. he grips it. tight. tight enough to break it, and his vod’ika trembles even harder. he’s shaking. crying harder.

“traitor,” jesse had whispered to him. the words are rancid, spiteful, but the look in his eyes was of nothing but pain. one that rex recognized before. it was the look he had when hardcase died, it was the look he had when kix vanished, it was the look he had after maul breached his mind and subjected him to unspeakable torture. but… it was also a look of love. a brotherly love, one that has rex’s heart-wrenching at the sight. jesse was still in there.

and in the next moment, he’s gone. )

rex stands before the lines of the troopers he’s been with for the last couple of days, or weeks, or years. stands before their burials, lined up just in the formation he had them stand in a few hours before. even in death they were just soldiers. mindless, dead soldiers.

he should have listened to fives. he should have come back for echo. he should have fought harder for dogma to be freed, listened to slick despite what he had done. he should have tried to search for kix after he disappeared, he should have kept tup with him when he had the chance, he should have said goodbye to cody before he left for mandalore. he should have saved jesse. he should have saved wolffe, or bly, or anyone. he should have saved them. instead, he stands in a sea of dead brothers, wearing the armor of a commander that he is no longer fit to be.

“rex?” ahsoka calls out to him softly, her gray robe flowing around her like the wings of a sprite, montrals sticking up from under her hood. 

it’s upon her words that rex realizes the streaks of tears that have begun to cascade down his cheek, flowing down and down until it reaches his chestplate and the dusty ground below. it’s upon her words that rex finally breaks, falling to his knees and releasing a sob from deep within his chest, the grief and anger and frustration and hopelessness finally setting in and washing over like a tidal wave. ahsoka is at his side immediately, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in his shoulder pauldron, letting him sob into her embrace. rex clutches onto her robe so tight he’s afraid to let go.

and rex cries. he just cries. for how long, he doesn’t know. for what reasons, he doesn’t know. but every time he looks up again, and sees jesse’s helmet up on that stake, the tears start up again. and he cries. because that’s all he can do.

WHY