The other thing about Beatles survival cannibalism is you have to take into consideration who each of them would want to eat first. George would want to eat Paul for being annoying and the meatiest obviously (a logical choice). Paul would pretend he doesn’t want to eat any of them but keep trying to subtly convince George to offer himself as sustenance so the rest of them can live (because he’s the youngest, you see, so that would make it fair). He’d start doing this waaaaayy before anyone needs to eat anyone by the way. They’d be there like two days and he’d be like “George, no one really relies on your existence, have you ever thought about that?” Ringo genuinely wouldn’t want to eat any of them, and would offer himself up to make them stop bickering about it but it would only make the bickering worse because they would immediately reject his offer and start arguing about how it’s not fair for them to eat Ringo just because George/Paul is being selfish. John would want to eat Paul in a gay way but he wouldn’t want to admit it so he’d go along with Paul’s plan to eat George, and George knowing he is outvoted would conspire with Ringo to just leave, and then John and Paul—well. See other cannibalism post for more details.
PAUL: I just think the fairest thing would be for SOMEONE 👁️👁️ to let us feed on them you know. Like if one of us maybe hasn’t lived as long as the rest of us, I think that’s the kind of thing to make it fair.
RINGO: I’ll do it.
PAUL: no, I’m not saying YOU have to do it.
GEORGE: yeah, Paul’s the fattest, so he should do it.
PAUL: well I dunno, I don’t think we can decide really until John comes back from his piss in the bushes.
JOHN, in the bushes: [furiously jerking off to the idea of biting into Paul’s thigh]
