individual canadians confirmed as 5 gays in a trench coat

its true

petition to rename the usa ‘south canada’

what about alaska

are we then normal canada

canada a bit to the left

What about South America? Is that just America? Or South South Canada?

i cried my ass of laughing

WARM CANADA

i caN’T BREATHE OH MY GOD

I’m not even from Canada but I approve this change of names

M ILKY E H

IT HAS RETURNED

FOUND IT

The busiest and widest highway in the world is in Ontario, Canada

Source

Is that the fucking 401

That is the fucking 401

Of course it’s the fucking 401

The god damn

motherfucking

You got somewhere to be?

Too bad you’re not getting there.

The 401 is where they weed out the weak. You don’t drive on the 401 to get somewhere. You do it for the challenge. You do it to test your abilities like some Uchiha clan shit. Rush hour 401 is the breaking point between heaven and earth. Are you going to descend into a Lovecraftian hell or reach Nirvana? You will double the size of your biceps death-gripping your steering wheel. There is no time for rest or pulling off over into an exit. Bodily functions shut down. Cars on the side of the road and crashes closing lanes are a constant reminder that you are driving the razor’s edge. Death is mere seconds away at any given moment. They’re always doing construction but nothing is ever finished. It’s a constant roadblock for the hell of it. This is the Dark Souls 2 of Canadian driving. git good or get out

And that’s just normal mode. Have fun in the six-month long Ontario winter and enter some top-tier level of highway driving.

EVO2015. EVO2018.

I heard that babies are born on the 401, grow up on the 401, and take over for their parents as driver of the family car on the 401

What the fuck.

Nope

Watch: He definitely wasn’t expecting that.

Follow @the-future-now

The PM of Canada understands quantum mechanics, and here in the States half the people in the running for President don’t even understand why forcing people to use the wrong bathroom is reprehensible, or that brown people are you know, people…

If you’re in Ontario and have the tv on this probably just came up on your tv. Posting on here for extra coverage. This was posted at 10:15PM on March 6th, 2016 for Orillia, Ontario, Canada.

It’s Roll Up The Rim season, Canada! 

May the odds be never in your favour :/ 

i don’t understand anything about this post. canada, please explain

The cups show us favour but once a year. We honour and revere the cup.

At the darkest, coldest time of year, we make ritual pilgrimages to collect the cups and hear their secrets. Few are favoured with rewards, but it is enough.

One of my students finished his coffee in class this week and asked us to say a little Yiddish prayer that the roll-up-the-rim gods would favour him. Alas, shpil nokh a mol.

this is why no one believes Canada is a real country 

I think we’ve found the Canadian version of “Cheeky Nando’s.”

What the fuck is even going on?! I don’t understand…

Roll Up the Rim at the Canadian (and surrounding states) bakery Tim hortons…basically you get a hot drink, and roll the rim up to see if you win. Kind of like the Monopoly of Canadian fast food chains.

Canadian PM Justin Trudeau’s popularity has been on full display at Davos — especially among millennials. There are three specific reasons young people love him so much — and his physical appearance isn’t one of them. 

Who should you fight: Canadian Prime Ministers

Sir John A Macdonald: Don’t fight Macdonald. You will lose. He’s Scottish and drunk and probably would throw a whiskey bottle through your head. He would absolutely fight dirty. You don’t build a country without fighting dirty.

Alexander Mackenzie: You could probably take Mackenzie, but he was a builder as a young man, so it wouldn’t be a cakewalk.

John Abbott: The first of the PMs nobody can name. I mean, sure, go for it, but nobody will know who you’re talking about when you win.

John Thompson: He was overweight enough that he died in office from a heart attack. You’d win, feel bad, AND nobody would know who you were talking about.

Mackenzie Bowell: Make a poop joke about his last name. He’d kick your ass, but it would be funny.

Charles Tupper: He may have only been PM for 69 days, but if you made a crack about his neckbeard, he’d probably lose it and beat you in a rage. Not worth it.

Wilfrid Laurier: Fight Laurier. Get him talking about a grand vision for Canada and drop him in the gut. You can win this one.

Robert Borden: You might lose to Borden, but wouldn’t it feel good to sock someone who ran under “A White Canada” in the mouth?

Arthur Meighen: Absolutely fight Meighen. Meighen looks like he has never worked a day with his hands. Tell him he was one of the least effective Prime Ministers and then Winnipeg Strike his ass.

William Mackenzie King: Oh man, this would not go well. Built like a brick wall and he would probably summon up ghosts. He’d tell you it he’d want to fight in English and deny it in French, and he’d just absorb whatever you threw at him.

R. B. Bennett: Remind him he is considered the worst Prime Minister this country has ever seen. He’ll go off and sulk in England and you’ll win by default.

Louis St. Laurent: I mean, I guess you could fight St. Laurent. You’d probably win, but nobody seems to feel strongly about him on pretty much anything, so is it worth it?

John Diefenbaker: Don’t fight Dief. Dief the Chief would go into some wild prairie prophet trance and would keep on hitting you long after you stopped moving. And if you somehow won, you’d then have to deal with all of Saskatchewan seeking revenge. Laugh now, but even if you can see them coming for three days, they will never, ever stop.

Lester B. Pearson: Why would you fight Mike Pearson? What kind of person would see that bowtie and Nobel Peace Prize and want to fight? You’d win and you would feel horrible.

Pierre Trudeau: DO NOT FIGHT TRUDEAU. Pierre isn’t a big man, but he’s all wiry muscle and insouciance. He’d probably have a knife under his rose and he would hit you with a saucy quip as you lay bleeding on the floor.

Joe Clark: What did Joe ever do to you? Go fight Mulroney instead.

John Turner: You could take Turner, he’d have no option.

Brian Mulroney: You think Mulroney would be a fighter, but that chin is made of glass. Everybody in Atlantic Canada would help you, and it would bring the country together.

Kim Campbell: Again, why would you fight Campbell? She wasn’t PM long enough to do anything. Fight Mulroney.

Jean Chretien: DO NOT FIGHT CHRETIEN. DO. NOT. FIGHT. CHRETIEN. When Chretien was a child, he started a new semester by finding the biggest kid in his grade and beating the shit out of him. You’re lucky if all he does is give you the Shawinigan Handshake. He will fight hard, he will fight dirty, and he will destroy you.

Paul Martin: Tell him that his legacy is overshadowed by Chretien. Easy win.

Stephen Harper: You’d think this would be an easy win, but Harper is like 6″2′. If you got the drop on him, you could lay him out, but if you got him mad enough he would probably snap and channel all that rage he’s been holding in into a flailing fury.

Justin Trudeau: He’s young, athletic, and a boxer. In a fair fight he’d go into his yoga trance and beat you. Use dirty tactics. Be careful that he does not seduce you instead.

who is tim horton and why does everyone in canada know him

oh ya timmy’s just a good bud there eh

what does this say

this guy is the minister of multiculturalism in canada haha

Today marks the 26th anniversary of the École Polytechnique massacre, in Montreal, Canada. A cowardly, misogynic act which left 14 promising women dead, simply because they were women:

After this despicable act, Canada adopted gun control measures. Since gun control measures were adopted there has not been another mass shooting killing more than 10 people in Canada. Since École Polytechnique there has only been 9 massacres in Canada; 9 in 26 years.

Please remember these women.

Tweets by the YWCA of Toronto

Just Canadian Things: The Mayor of Canada’s largest city is cast as a moose in a local play for the Nutcracker.

This is the guy that replaced Rob Ford as Mayor of Toronto.

So, to recap:

Plus the countless hostile incidents posted online but not reported on in the media. I’m disgusted by my own country rn tbh.

6. Man in Joker Mask Vows to Kill ‘One Arab a Week’ Across Quebec

@allthecanadianpolitics

Not proud of Canada right now.

7. Brad Wall, Premier of Saskatchewan wants Trudeau’s plan to resettle 25,000 Syrian Refuges by the new year to be suspended.

8. Muslim Teenage girls at a Toronto mosque are warned by Islamic centre directer to watch out while crossing the street, so not to “give drivers any excuse.”

9.  A Calgary mosque was broken into and robbed while the Imam was at a peace vigil for victims of the Paris attacks

 10. In a poll conducted three days after the Paris attacks, 54% of Canadians  oppose Trudeau’s plan to bring 25,000 Syrian refugees to Canada before  January 

Can I just…Like, people are joyful over Trudeau’s new cabinet. Joyful. Over a federal cabinet. But look:

Our new Minister of Justice and Attorney General of Canada is Jody Wilson-Raybould, an aboriginal woman and leader. This when we’re dealing with a crisis around missing and murdered aboriginal women.

Our new Minister of Defense is Harjit Sajjan, an actual combat veteran and first generation immigrant. This when former the PM’s rhetoric on Canada’s military tradition centered mostly on white British stuff around the War of 1812.

Our new Minister of Veterans Affairs is Kent Hehr, a lawyer who is physically disabled and an experienced activist in the areas of gun violence and LBGTA+ rights. This after a period when Canadian veterans hadn’t just been denied an advocate in Veterans affairs but it had almost become hostile towards them. 

Our new minister of Fisheries and Oceans and the Coast Guard is Hunter Tootoo. An Inuit man has been given the portfolio responsible for issues of natural resources and Canadian sovereignty. 

(Hold on, I need a minute. Hunter Tootoo is hotter than Trudeau. By far. Holy shit. Okay, I’m good now)

And I could go on. We have an actual scientist handling science! A first generation immigrant in charge of democratic institutions! A paralympian in charge of sports and people with disabilities! A doctor as minister of health!

AN ASTRONAUT IS MINISTER OF TRANSPORT!!!

AN ASTRONAUT IS MINISTER OF TRANSPORT!!!

Keep going Trudeau. You’re doing brilliantly so far.

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who was officially sworn in on November 4th, 2015, gives a very simple answer as to why he decided to have 15 men and 15 women on his cabinet.

For those of you curious and also sobbing with me about Canada’s new leader and our new Cabinet

let me break it down for you member by member, there are 30 members in total, not including the Prime Minister. I’ll give you name, position, religion, plus anything else interesting, k? warning for long post.

So of these 30 members, 1 lgbt person, 2 are first nations, 2 are physically disabled, 15 are women, and 8 (possibly 9) are people of colour.  There are a spectrum of religions as well as people who don’t practice religions.

I, for one, am pleased

@allthecanadianpolitics I thought you may like to reblog this!

I’m still a little leery of the fact that despite Trudeau’s cabinet having two first nations members, neither one of them is the Minister of Aboriginal Affairs.

Maybe one day a white person won’t be put in charge of overseeing this country’s first nations… but I suppose even in 2015 that sort of change is too much to hope for.

Harry losing his goddamn mind in Montreal and the others encouraging it 

x

(via louisnharry)