The lyf so short, the craft so long to lerne

Hear me out

THIS HAD BEEN DRIVING ME NUTS FOR FOREVER. 

So there.  Now I have figured it out. 

People who I suspect have thought about this less than me:

this absolutely 200% needs to be submitted to the Annals of Improbable Research or some other similar psuedo-academic publication, this is good enough to be published somewhere