We need to talk about how sexy Finnish people sound when they speak English.

You may have heard of the infamous Capitán Salamander… Now prepare for El Capitán

…I warned y'all it was idiotic, don’t act surprised at me 🤣

Now that we’ve played with all the possible personal data of this poor man (unless… Armando, do you happen to have a middle name, too!? we are the real reason he repeated his name to Henry twice just in case 😂😂😂) I can go back to color his bare-chested cr- I MEAN his surprise birthday party group (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

Sssssssh, don’t say it too loud, it’s a secreeeet 🤣🤣🤣

Later on I’ll work on the one-shot comic for this lil’ guy and his Salamander buddy, with a special cameo from another certain… little one. Can’t say no more! You guys will have to wait for it! 🤭

A big thanks to @captainchipe @montmartre-parapluie and @mysticalgalaxysalad for your support and the inspiration you give me, you people are the best  ♡ ～(‘▽^人)

Armadillo Salazar?!?!?🤯🤯😍😍😍 OMG how On Earth did I not think of that?! Marvelous simply marvelous 👏🎉

He is absolutely terrifying to behold too! Gorgeous in a hideous way, perfectly portraying The Curse. Well done! 🙌💖 The details are, as usually, absolutely scrumptious 😜 Those medals?!😍😍 The sword! The cane! Hot damn!!🔥🔥🔥 I love how you portrayed the stripes of his uniform, very clever 👌

Poor poor El Capitán; the most feared pirate-hunter reduced to a Salamander and an Armadillo.😂😂 I’m almost tempted to give him a middle name to complete the trifecta. Perhaps I’ll refrain… There’s only so much the poor man can take…

(Studiously ignores the word ‘bare-chested’, nothing to see here nope not at all. Nothing to drool over nope. It’s a surprise party nothing more. - Who am I trying to fool here?🤤😍😂)

Another amazing art piece in the works soon??🥺🙏 You spoil us wayyyy too much. 😘❤️

NO YOU ARE THE BEST FOR SHARING THESE AMAZING ART PIECES WITH US 💖💖💖💖💖

*mic drop*

@captainchipe​ This 🔝 is totally me after seeing your comments every. single. time! Agh! I’M SO HAPPY YOU LIKED IT I COULD FLY OFF THE GROUND!!

°˖✧◝(^▿^)◜✧˖°

Indeed we’ve butchered his name through and through (eheh, I see what you did there 😜), by now I’m ignoring the movie canon and imagine directly Lesaro and the crew barely holding back a smile every time Armando greets someone for the first time, as when he states his name the giggles start (needless to say he’d look murderous ahahah  (`皿´＃) )

It’s almost liberating, to put him in such “small shoes”, it kinda suits his endless need to prove himself and uphold his power and position at all costs. Even and most especially when the risk is high. (Not to mention I can’t think of the crew but as larger or way larger animals, and the two pictures together are just too funny to leave behind 🤣)

Oooooh, a middle name from you? …Sounds very very tempting 🤭

It’s not spoiling if it’s done with the heart y’know, I’m just too delighted of the possibility to create something you can appreciate, and when I see I did then my only thought can be my job here is done 

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

@acidyellowlava (づ￣ ³￣)づ ❤️ Then we are lucky to have you in this fandom💖💖💖 *hugs you back twice as hard* *crack* (ʘᗩʘ’)

*cackles* yes I can definitely imagine it 😂 add the Salamander rhyme to that and El Capitán might just implode😈 It’s just so fun to mess with people who have such a high level of self-importance. Ruffle those feathers a little. Take him down a notch or two…😉

(OMG YeS now I’m imagining Lesaro as a huge animal, it would look so comical 😂😂 ironic too considering Armando is technically taller)

I 💯% approve of these shenanigans! *Stamp of approval*

…

What is this? I think I feel a rhyme taking form… *mad scribblings*

…

Amarillo, Armadillo,

what a comfy little pillow.

“Dead Men Tell No Tales”,

warned the Armadillo,

with seething rage rising in a billow.

“Little Chicas should learn their place,

lest they want to face,

my deadly embrace.”

Such a promise once said,

is often led by much bloodshed.

@captainchipe

No!

No, you didn’t-?!

Another rhyme??

“What a comfy little pillow" I’m just 😭😍 *pointedly ignores the bloodshed and glomps the tiny irate Armandillo*

Who needs ribs when I know someone so incredible eh?!? I’m definitely lucky as well, then ಥ◡ಥ 💖💝

No worries, I’ll hold the Mando for as long as it takes him to blow off all the steam, this Chica he won’t dare to hurt *Lesaro’s training is gonna pay off now eheheh 💪🏻*

Can you see them eyeroll every moment at this teeny weeny critter shouting orders left and right? It’s magical 😂

@acidyellowlava (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧ YAY! I’m overjoyed that you liked it.🥺💖💖💖

It made me doubt all my English skills. Who would have thought there would be a more difficult word to rhyme with than ‘Salamander’?🤣 *‘Armadillo’ has entered the chat*

It makes me so happy that you appreciate the idiocy that is my poetry 💖💖😭 Though I could hardly accept your kind words that I have any poetry skills. I just put words together and they sometimes rhyme. 😅😂

Also the rest of your tags had me cackling like mad, my family members thought that I’d finally lost it.🤣 He does seem to be collecting poetry like bad pennies. Captain Armando Salazar, The Butcher of the Sea, Muse of Bad Poetry, Terror of Señoritas.

Thank you for your protection, my hero 😘 It would look kinda hilarious thou😂 Adorably hilarious!💖 Me a lanky giant hiding behind you, my ferocious protector. The Crew would definitely not be needing any other kind of entertainment if we were on board.😜

💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

@captainchipe El Capitán, Armando Salamander Salazar, the First of His Name, King of La María and all of Her Men, Lord of the Seven Seas, Protector of España and its Realms…

… may not come close, but you say your talent is idiocy once again and your tiny guard may just turn against you, got it Giant Niña??

*hugs you with a sword in hand, looking at you suspiciously* 😜

@acidyellowlava (╬☉д⊙)⊰⊹ฺ Got it, yup, io capisco, crystal clear, got it. *Eyes you back suspiciously* No idiocy here my friend.( ꈍᴗꈍ)

Love the nickname Giant Niña, since my nickname is actually Nina🤣 - For a moment I thought that you’d somehow hacked into my phone or something but then I realized it’s Spanish. (Yes I know that the Crew and Capitán would definitely use that nickname against me :/)

@captainchipe OMG for real??

Who would have ever *picks up fbi agent by the collar* imagined *throws them into the closet* that *covers them with every possible clothing article then shuts the door* uh? 😅🤣

Jk obviously, but I’m laughing so hard at this level of coincidences! not to mention I was kinda distracted by the fact that half of my reply and the tags apparently didn’t make it, thanks Tumblr Mobile... *kicks fbi agent* 🙄

…Because I’d written how wonderfully you’d done even with that armadillo-shaped obstacle in the way, you could never successfully undermine your Amazing Skills™ for all you may try! ❤️

(੭ु｡╹▿╹｡)੭ु⁾⁾

@acidyellowlava Yesss for real, I was so surprised! It’s such an incredible coincidence!! *sees Fbi agent’s foot poking out of the closet* hmmmm.... or is it? *jaw’s theme music* 

Aww nooo, I did wonder at the empty tags but didn’t think more of it. Curse You TUMBLR MOBILE! At my wits end with it too, trying to post an Lesaro Plushie Update but It Won’t Do It! ( -.- ) I will persist, however, no app shall get the best of me. *waves puukko*

Awww thank you!! :3 If you make me smile anymore I’m afraid my face will stay that way! XD I guess I will have to admit defeat again. The lieutenant has taught you well. ;)