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#au – @captainsigge on Tumblr
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The lyf so short, the craft so long to lerne

@captainsigge / captainsigge.tumblr.com

Sigge. 25. Heathen. BG3 BRAINROT
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reblogged
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27-umbrellas

Diego on Queer Eye

Bobby: alright so we definetly have some issues with this living space,,, uh it’s just one room full of assorted knives and random clutter,,, I like the rustic feel, but it borders a bit to much on cave man

Jonathan: Less 👏 time 👏 beating 👏 up 👏 bad 👏 guys 👏 more 👏 time 👏 brushing 👏 your 👏 teeth

Karamo: uhhhhhh he might need to improve his relationship with his family,,,,, this is evident by his brother stopping by and instead of saying hello Diego just uhhhh through a knife at him,?,,?,?

Tan: I love leather but maybe???? Having??? More than one outfit???? Might work out???? Knives also aren’t exactly the best accessory????

Antoni: this motherfucker cracked a RAW FUCKING EGG into his MOUTH what the actual fuck

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neilich

a buzzfeed unsolved/shyan au in which ryan is a radio host of his conspiracy theory show that conveniently plays when shane’s at work. 

can y'all imagine him just yelling back at the radio?? can y'all see him calling up after every theory just to argue?? and then more and more people would tune in for the beef like yo there’s this furious skeptic who just keeps on calling to complain. y'all. 

people he works with would just be having a normal fuckin’ day in the office when all of a sudden a pencil would snap because HE JUST HAD TO MENTION ALIENS. 

then ryan gets so used to shane calling that he gives him salty shoutouts at the beginning of every episode or just stays quiet after an exceptionally stupid theory because he knows shane is about to call and he’s just waiting.

i’m in too deep please discuss.

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evartandadam

Sasosaku Month Day 4: It was You

Same age AU! Sakura had met Sasori only a few brief times before, and boy, did they not get off to a good start. She then ends up forming a team with Suna ninja, him included, for an A rank mission that ends up being not so A rank. She manages to save her entire team, but passes out due to her wounds. Surprise, surprise! He actually goes out of his way to carry her out of the battle zone and heal her wounds! 

“You’re a medical ninja?!”

“I dabble…”

She doesn’t understand. Doesn’t he hate her???

(I decided to make Sasori the one who did the rescuing and not the other way around, because I think it means more if he actually goes out of his way to be a decent person haha)

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flossskull

OH MY GOD I WANT THIS SO BAD BUT JUST IMAGINE A MODERN THE HOBBIT ROADTRIP SORTA THING AHH GOD I AM JUST A SQUEALING MESS OF EXCITEMENT RIGHT NOW I WISH THAT THIS COULD BE A REAL MOVIE NOW!!!

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jezunya

If you liked this trailer, but you haven’t read @kivrinengle’s amazing fic The Sons of Durin, do yourself a favor and start it right now. Because holy shit this looks like a trailer for that exact fic. Seriously. 

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irrealis

There are also videos for the other two movies!!

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i’m so tired of the AU where your soulmate’s name is on your wrist. i want my enemy’s name on my wrist. i wanna know who i’m going to have to physically fight eventually. turn on your fucking location

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chekhovsgum

your enemy’s name on one wrist and your soulmate the another. no clue which is which. hope it’s not the same name on both wrists. 

well if it isn’t aaron burr, sir

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radioproxy

A weird and random AU where Bilbo literally gets turned into a bunny because of a spell and like to bunny hop follow after Thorin the most out of all the dwarves. And Thorin is just so confused because he enjoys petting the bunny, but he knows that’s Bilbo. He’s not sure if he should continue the petting. Thorin your love for small and soft things is showing.

….I don’t know I just really want a pet bunny myself _:(´□`」∠):_ 

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in which there are picnics, flower crowns, and entirely too many fuzzy feelings.  

It still amazes Bilbo, sometimes, that they’ve actually done it. That Erebor has been reclaimed, the Orcs driven back, and every member of the Company is alive, if worse for wear. It’s a far better ending than any of them expected. In his more romantic moments, Bilbo is tempted to liken it to the happily ever afters of the fairy tales he used to read. 

He’s happy here, in Erebor. He almost returned to the Shire when Gandalf offered to escort him there, but Bilbo couldn’t bring himself to leave. He’s made a home here, in a mountain full of dwarves, as odd as that idea is. Oh, if his mother could see him now! Bilbo is certain she would laugh for a long, long while before congratulating him. 

Nearly six months have passed since the Battle of the Five Armies, as it is called now. The snow has melted away, and greenery is returning to Erebor and Dale. Bilbo lets out a satisfied sigh as he closes his eyes and just breathes in the crisp air and feels the grass between his toes. He may live in Erebor now, but he is still a hobbit, and hobbits need to be outside every once in a while. 

Bilbo spots patch of bright yellow flowers - dandelions. Many of the Big Folk call them weeds, but Hobbits have always had an appreciation for the usefulness of dandelions. He sits down next to the cluster of flowers, careful not to crush any of them, and fetches his pipe and a small container of pipeweed from the pouch he brought with him. It’s not Old Toby, but it’s not terrible, either, and Bilbo is quite content to simply sit there and smoke for a while. 

“Am I intruding?”

Bilbo jumps, nearly gouging out his eye with the end of his pipe. “Thorin!” he squeaks. “Um, I —” This is ridiculous. He needs to get a hold of himself. “I mean, no, of course not.” 

Thorin smiles down at him, and he looks amused, the bastard.The crown is absent, and he’s dressed rather plainly today - well, plainly for a king. It’s still a step up from what he wore while they were on the road. 

“It is your kingdom, isn’t it?” Bilbo continues, and oh, he recognizes his nervous blathering for what it is, but he can’t seem to stop, either. “Can kings even intrude on their own kingdom?”

And now Thorin’s laughing at him.

Bilbo scowls. “Arse,” he grumbles, but they’re both aware there’s no real malice behind it. 

Still chuckling quietly, Thorin settles down next to Bilbo. “I brought lunch,” he says, shrugging off the pack he must have brought with him and nudging it over to Bilbo, who certainly isn’t going to turn down food. He pockets his pipe and opens the pack, revealing various cheeses, preserved meats, and a fresh loaf of bread, all carefully wrapped in clean oilskin. 

“Aren’t you a little busy to be visiting a lowly hobbit?” Bilbo asks idly as he carefully uses a knife from the pack to cut a slice of sausage. It’s not that he isn’t glad to see Thorin (quite the opposite, in fact) but Erebor doesn’t exactly run itself. 

Thorin snorts. “The Guildmasters are bickering again. Your company is more useful than they are right now.”

“Ah.” The various crafting guilds have spent weeks arguing over territory and funding, and none of them are showing any sign of being open to the idea of negotiations. “Tell me about it?”

They spend a while like that, sitting and enjoying the sunshine and the fresh breeze as Thorin complains about the difficulties of ruling and Bilbo offers support where he can. After the food is eaten, Bilbo keeps his hands busy by weaving some dandelions into a flower crown. He hasn’t made one since he was a child, but his fingers still remember the motions. 

Bilbo eyes it critically as Thorin explains the latest complication in Erebor’s political relations with the other Dwarven kingdoms. It’s almost big enough to - oh, there’s an idea. 

Slipping one more dandelion into the crown, Bilbo ties it off, and before Thorin can react, he sets it gently atop dwarf’s head. The bright flowers make a nice contrast with his dark hair. 

Thorin stops speaking in the middle of his sentence, and blinks like he doesn’t quite know what to do with himself.

“They suit you,” Bilbo says, smiling with a hint of mischief that he knows is reminiscent of his days as an adventurous fauntling. 

And then Thorin smiles, the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes crinkling, and it has all the warmth and beauty of the rising sun, and, well. Bilbo can’t do much but smile back. 

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reblogged

The fourteenth share Bagginshield AU

"Okay Bilbo, we’ll now give you your fourteenth share, what would you li—"

"Thorin." 

"Um. Do you mean like Thorin’s, uh, memoir…" 

"Thorin." 

"Um I don’t think…" 

"BYE EVERYBODY I’M GOING HOME WITH MY FOURTEENTH SHARE" 

"BILBO NO"

….

"So hey guys where’s Thorin’s body?"

"Ummm… it’s buried…. with the uh Arkenstone… of course! Hahahaha no it’s not halfway across the world with a strange hairy-footed creature what are you talking… about… heh"

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ehliena

Imagine Bilbo doing this while Thorin is still alive (and not at all dying).

Thorin: Halfling, I am not a treasure.

Bilbo: You’re a treasure to me. 

And then Bilbo proceeds to pack Thorin up while the dwarves are all in a mixed state of disbelief (at Bilbo’s cheesiness, not that he was kidnapping their king.)

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yunuen

fake movies: avengers lady centric au (for nyssa)

Peggy is the one to get stuck in ice in and survive the century. Pepper doesn’t get rid of Extremis and becomes Rescue. Bruce Banner stays under the radar leaving Betty as the authority in gamma radiation. Jane retains some of the Aether’s powers. Thor is busy ruling Asgard, therefore Sif is the one tasked to retrieve the Tesseract. Director Fury rounds them all up along with Black Widow for his Avengers Initiative and, Barton being compromised, Maria Hill steps up as the marksman of the team. 

tldr; the ladies save the world instead

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