Captain Hades

playing spot the newcomer is easy because they’re the mfs who censor everything

“unalive” “k!ll” you can be free here. loosen up

i dont know how to break this to you but saying the word kill will not influence that

I've got another wild surprise for you about how Tumblr works.

Was firefox deactivated ?:(

Firefox-official was deactivated due to copyright issues and they are now under a different blog called Firefox-unofficial

you can also tell who is a newcomer because they care about their follower count. that means nothing here.

My kind of comedy

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this is crazy bc I remember when i was in school, if a guy had spare tampons in his backpack he was deemed the most universally popular guy by every single woman in school. The rizz you get from having tampons on you as a man is immeasurable.

Most of my friends since i was like 14 have had periods and they mostly stick to two brands, the day i started carrying them on my backpacks i unlocked a level of loyalty and care i could not articulate if i had a poetry degree. I met my soon to be wife because that day i was the only person around her who carried pads and she has never stopped telling people about it, i'm getting married because of the immeasurable rizz given to me by openly carrying pads as a dude

[Image transcript follows]

Tweet by Megyn Kelly ( @/megynkelly ): Are you aware he forced 4th grade boys to have tampons in their school bathrooms? You're good with that? Totally norms?

Response by Julia Claire ( @/ohJuliatweets ): My brother was also forced to have tampons in his bathroom at home because he and I shared a bathroom and you'll never believe this but he is alive and well today.

[End description]

Honestly, considering that tampons can be used in an emergency to plug bullet wounds, I feel like they should be available in all classrooms in the US across the board, not just school restrooms. And people who feel weird about that should probably be doing something about the ability of people to go shooting up school children, rather than trying to keep tampons out of classrooms.

How are disabled and interracial illegal???

Interracial marriage was outlawed for the longest time, and disabled people lose government benefits when they get married so they cannot have reassurance that they will continue to LIVE if they get married.

Story time: my mom is white, dad is black. They’ve been together twenty four years, married for twenty three. When my parents were dating they did it on the low TO KEEP MY DAD SAFE.

My mom’s parents said “We don’t care who you love.” At that point she’d only ever brought home white guys. She brought my dad home-her mother called her a nigger lover and damned the relationship as much as possible. Her father grew around his prejudices after I was born but never apologized, just wasn’t a blatant fuck.

The day she introduced my father to her family was the last time she spoke to her mother for over twenty years. When I was getting sick and she called and asked her mother and grandmother if anyone in the family had anything strange happen similar what I was going through they told her “it’s because you married a black man. You made your bed, you lie in it.”

Cops pulled them over all the time and asked my mom IF SHE WAS OKAY AND IF SHE NEEDED HELP BECAUSE MY FATHER-A BLACK MAN-WAS DRIVING A 100 POUND WHITE WOMAN AROUND. HE WAS HARRASSED AND THREATED WITH ARREST.

My father ended up getting into a fight in self defence because some entitled hick decided he didn’t like seeing a black man and white woman in the bar together. Thankfully other patrons helped my father but he still couldn’t go to the er for his injuries. My mom patched him up and they were terrified the cops would take him away.

THEIR BEST FRIEND GOT LICENSED TO MARRY THEM SO THEY COULD ACTUALLY TIE THE KNOT BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WOULD AND CITED JIM CROW ERA LAW AS TO WHY.

When shopping with just me my father wouldn’t hold my hand if there was a group around. Why? I’m far lighter than him and people had stopped and asked him “whose child is that?” Or “little girl where’s your parents?” and were stunned when I grinned and pointed at my dad and proudly proclaimed “my daddy’s right here.” You know where else mixed kids couldn’t hold their parents hands? Apartheid South Africa. We live in fucking FLORIDA.

So yeah. Some history for you.

This post was made in October 2018. The above poster’s parents met in 1994. We were a generation removed from the Civil Rights movement and this was happening.

Part of the reason I try to make good vegetarian food even though I’m not vegetarian is because of the one week my dad was convinced he was gonna go vegan.

You know what he made for dinner that whole week? Steamed vegetables, rice, and canned beans. All unseasoned. Technically a nutritionally complete meal. It tasted awful.

How could a man usually so good at cooking forget literally all of that when faced with the possibility of making vegan food?

I thought there had to be a better way. And it turns out there is. Vegetarian food doesn’t taste bad. Cartoons that depict vegetarians eating a singular leaf for a meal have ruined us. A lot of stuff that meat eaters eat in everyday life is technically vegetarian or easily made vegetarian. Why when faced with one restriction do so many people forget every single egg sandwich or apple pie they’ve ever eaten?

I’m not a vegetarian but I grew up in a vegetarian household and do most of the cooking in that same vegetarian household now. Never did I ever live under the assumption that vegetarian food was supposed to be bland kale and rice, my Caribbean mother made sure of that. You can replace most meat based soup stocks with veggie stock. It doesn’t make it worse. If you want to add a meatiness to your dish, add mushrooms. BROWN EVERYTHING. If there ain’t char, you’re missing out. Elevate almost any vegetable by baking it rather than steaming/boiling/or even pan frying. Make a sauce. Always make a sauce. I don’t care if the food isn’t dry and doesn’t technically need one, a sauce makes everything better. LEARN TO SEASON. IM BEGGING MY FELLOW CAUCASIANS, LEARN THE BASICS OF SEASONING. If you pop the top of the bottle and it smells right in the eyes of god, throw that shit in. You won’t learn fast but you’ll learn over time.

(April 12th 2024)

No medical confirmation or psychological evaluation necessary. The law will be active by the 1st of November this year.

First names can also be changed while changing gender. One all inclusive package with minimum effort.

Here's the AP article about it for anyone who wants it

[ID: The Destiel meme, edited to say, in the first panel, "I love you", and in the second, "Today Germany passed a law that allows everyone to change their gender by simply going to the registry and telling them to change it." End ID]

I need people outside of Germany to understand how huge this is!

It came into effect yesterday, November 1st, 2024!!!!

You see it's quite simple: if they call the earth Gaia, it's fantasy. If they call it Terra, that's sci-fi

If there's one vampire, it's horror. If there's 100+ and they have politics, it's urban fantasy.

Im gonna shill for Marie Kondo again but this is why I find her books (yes, books, the TV show is fun but ultimately misses a lot of the core ideas) so good.

A lot of home org advice fully misses this aspect. Kondo not only acknowledges it, but leans into it. And ultimately this helps motivste me to keep my space tidy - it's really hard to me to keep on the nebulous goal of self-care, but much easier to get up and put things away if I envision my salt and pepper grinders as like, retail workers who are now standing in an empty shop (my dining table) and just wanna go home (the spice rack where they live).

Normie tidying process: that heater should be put away for summer! I mean, I'm not gonna need it

Me: well it's just chilling and also I can't be arsed.

Kondo: that heater has done a good job keeping you warm over winter and now it should get to go have a rest in the cupboard

Me: !! Sabbatical for my heater!! Thank you for your service sir and have a very nice break!

just saw a tiktok or something where the person was saying they did this and they were on a hike and they were like "i managed to get myself to go on this hike because i promised my boots we would go" and its like. OH YEAH. THAT.

do you think elves are really sick of this hairstyle, like on elf grindr this is how all the most obnoxious dudes look

- When the time is right, let her have it. And I’ll throw you into the fray - when the time is right. - Promise? - Yeah.

the probability of a character being gay if he's never stated his sexuality is like, a good 10%. but the moment someone takes care to write him into an awkward situation where he believes another man is flirting with him and he goes 'oh um ah. no. i'm straight' well haha. let's just say. one billion

The Sanders Sides as a conversation I had with my mom today:

Logan: Fruit keeps the doctor out of the house.

Virgil: If you throw it hard enough.

Roman: Especially watermelon.

Janus: Or pineapples.

Remus: No upside down pineapples though, he might be into that.

Patton: What?

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

Hey, pals, love the energy, and that's why you should be shouting to the hills that the Biden-Harris administration MADE THIS HAPPEN.

If you are getting a federally-backed mortgage through Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac, your positive rental history DOES COUNT.

"I don't want to see anyone blaming abstaining voters for this!"

Of course you don't. The entire idea of abstaining was that you could pretend this didn't involve you. Not getting blamed was more important to you than doing any kind of damage control, more important than protecting any of the people you said you wanted to protect. And in this moment, I don't really care what you want. Of course, this isn't entirely your fault. Of course other people made this worse. But if you're going to pretend you had nothing to do with this, forgive me if I ignore you.

But if we get angry at them how can they feel self-righteous and morally superior?

The rub here is that they thought Harris was going to win. They thought they could have their cake and eat it too.

But instead of them being able to shame everyone else about how we all elected another lukewarm neoliberal Democrat for four years while they benefitted from her relatively progressive policies, we all get to witness another Trump presidency.

They should feel guilt and shame. This is a perfect example of what it’s for.

Every poll and survey for weeks and months has said it was neck-and-neck, the earliest results were a tie. Only morons wouldn't have recognized this was possible.