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#survive the internet – @captainfightingflower on Tumblr
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I'm a girl in a plant skin!

@captainfightingflower / captainfightingflower.tumblr.com

This blog is only one component of my garden of war and pointless cursed autistic doodles, resistance is futile and my army is growing per pledged allegiance. But theirs really nothing to worry about anyways... no lives (to my knowledge) were taken because of me or my actions so you're good for now i guess.
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My hatred for Tee K.O. 2 is not  just destroying my perception of the original game anymore, it beginning to deteriorate my perception of the games referenced.

I can't remember the characterizations of Mayonnaise, Rue Meringue, Captain Chuck Hull, M. Bubbles, and to an extent; even Gene. I can't even perceive them as CHARACTERS anymore, just pictures. I barely remember any of their voices, their actions, their personalities, unless i specifically focus really really hard on remembering them.

Not only are the players, hosts, and mascots affected; my recollection of their games are starting to get fuzzy. The memories playing them with my family or with Streamers are just...escaping me, no matter how hard i try to grasp onto them; they escape my fingers like sand.

I fear it might get to the point w here i won't even remember they exist anymore, or worse; i might even start to feel physically ill whenever i interact with the media. I'm struggling to remember characters and games i used to enjoy consistently and it's freaking me the fuck out!

I don't want to forget about the games i love, but it's seeming like an unavoidable inevitability, because my brain's just...blocking them out! I don't want to forget about them...they're the only things keeping me SUSTAINED anymore! I don't want my brain to be doing this...how do i make it stop doing this?!?

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Anonymous asked:

hey, can you drop some facts about ydkj hosts? like, any kind, any hosts. it seems like you know much about them.

Oh okay! I'll only drop a few because we'd be here all day otherwise, i donate a bunch of the facts i find to trivia sections on the Jackbox Fandom wiki because i REALLY love giving out facts to people! I mostly don't since i need actual sources so they don't get removed since most of them seem like vandalism when they are very much cannon.

Also, you're getting the others, because it's my blog god damn it!

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Todd: Hey Greg, i bet i could reach the breakroom down the hall before you do.

Greg, with finger guns: Challenge accepted; see you there!

Todd bolts for the breakroom panel to panel, as Greg takes a shortcut by sliding horizontally out of the starting panel, and arriving at the panel inside the breakroom.

Greg repositions himself at the breakroom table looking very proud of himself.

Greg glances at his side and sees Todd playing with his phone.

Greg is incredibly startled by Todd getting there before he did, as Todd continues playing with his phone completely unfazed.

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Cookie, remising on the Jellyvision days: When i first starting; Smartphones where just invented the year prior!

Greg: But you had other things to play your games with.

Todd: Yeah, like dinosaurs.

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You can’t say shit around anybody without them finding out how to push your bad buttons.

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Mayonnaise: You hit someone with your car and they die with no way to bring them back. What do you do?

Cookie: I'm not even stopping the car, McDonald's stops serving breakfast in like 10 minutes.

[REDACTED]: Go into the bushes, bury them horizontally, put yogurt in their anus for faster decomposition and hope no one finds it.

Todd: I wouldn't want to deal with this actually, i'll just go home.

Schmitty: I'll just take the body with me and lob it at the next sucker that comes driving down that road!

Lord Tippet: Call the police?? I'll have to report this even if it was my fault because it's the right thing to do.

Capt. Chuck: Unrealistic; i can't drive!

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^ Wait, what about yogurt?!?!

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You didn’t know about the yogurt trick?

Looks like we got a murder noobie here!

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Todd: I gotta go mom.

phone mumbling

Todd: No, i'm not watching dirty dancing.

more phone mumbling

Todd: No, i don't think so.

Todd, away from his phone: Hey, are you gonna murder me because you're a stranger i met on the internet?

[REDACTED]: Yes i am.

Todd, back to his phone: He says no.

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I....i don’t know who you’re implying is doing the reverse psychology...

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Todd: Hey i'm Todd. My friends call me Todd. But my players call me-

THE INTERNET

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^ OH GOD!!! THAT IS TOO MUCH POWER FOR ONE MAN!!!

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I just imagine him floating ominously over the massive canyon that sucks winning players into the underworld while he speaks the blue.

Very fun thought. 10/10 would think again.

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Dixie: Todd texted me "your adorable" so i texted him back "no, *YOU'RE adorable".

Dr. Ro: And?

Dixie: And now we're dating. We've been on six dates. All i did was point out a typo, but i like him so i'm not gonna say anything

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^ IS THAT HOW PEOPLE HOOK UP?!

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No, but it should.

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Todd, pointing to some ancient engraving: Hey, is that you?

The Wheel: Yeah, but that was before i was confined to this wheel. I was an all powerful deity worshiped by the thousands! I had it all; body sculpted by the gods above, skin bright like the sun and hair akin to a field of wheat on a windy day! I was a real beauty let me tell you! I was far more expressive back then.

Todd: Ah neat. You seem to miss it. What happed?

The Wheel: Sure do! The townsfolk feared what they thought was wrath and sealed me away until i was soothed, only to die from starvation; as i was their only sun! Now i'm trapped in this piece of ruin and i don't know if i'm ever getting out!

Todd: Wow, that sounds bad. What did you do to get banned from admin anyways? Spawnkill?

The Wheel: No, i just drew dicks into the mountains with my laser eyes.

Todd, smirking: ...I like you.

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Jackbox hosts probably shouldn’t be gods.

Change my mind.

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Todd: Tricking your parents into thinking you're reading, when you're really just on your phone.

Elizibeth Randa: Actually reading, because reading is fun!

Dr. Ro: Tricking your parents into thinking you're on your phone, when you're really just reading.

Dixie: Tricking your parents into thinking you're on your phone, when really you're just a book.

Talking Points hostess: Tricking your parents into thinking you're a book, but really you're just a phone.

Tournament Master: Tricking your book into thinking you're your phone, but really you're your parents.

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^ This whole office is a disaster.

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✨A disFUNctional disaster!✨

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Todd, scrolling his phone passively on the business trip: If you replace the b of bus with s you get sus which means that theirs an imposter among us.

All the other hosts internally, collectively in tears: OH GOD MAKE HIM STOP!

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^ GET HIM OFF THAT BUS!!!

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PLEASE!

(Finally, a use for this...)

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The Jackbox hosts and how they fidget

So i realized overnight that the hosts of the Jackbox Party Packs probably fidget, they’re all a bunch of anxiety-ridden shit stains so they defiantly need something to keep them somewhat saine (Plus Schmitty canonically fidgets with keys). I personally hate fidget toys (i tried but i don’t get how i’m suppose to enjoy messing with stuff if it isn’t productive), i just like seeing things getting organized.

So [REDACTED] definitely fidgets with butterfly knives, it’s both dangerous and really great for occupying your hands when doing something else (because it’s not distracting, you would defiantly end up cutting yourself if you fidget with butterfly knives). Also Pop its, they’re a non distracting hand fidget, very symmetrical and even (most of the time) and make a nice pop sound every time you press the buttons (he doesn’t bring them to work since he doesn’t want people stealing them). Probably not a fan of Dimpls™ since the buttons aren’t aligned the same way as a Pop it.

Cookie probably teethes on teething rings when he’s getting REAL pissy at the staff so he wouldn’t start biting them (because he probably would let’s be real here). Also has a pacifier on his key chain to help relieve stress and he will assure you loudly and defensively that he’s NOT an adult baby and if he doesn’t have it he would get REAL stressed and break his teething ring from how hard he’s biting and eventually bite some poor intern in the neck or something else vital.

Schmitty fidgets with keys (like we’ve established) since they make a nice metallic jingle, it is very distracting for him though so he can’t really fidget with them during work. He also occasionally fidgets with Groan tubes (light up ones preferably), since he enjoys the DWWUUUUP sound they make when you rotate them (can’t use them during work for the same reason as the keys). He is allowed to bring liquid sensory timers and would prioritize using a sand timer over a digital timer if he can.

Glargan adores fidgeting with magnetic rings (he gets them exclusively in neon colors) and love trailing them across his suit and helmet. Also loves messing around with an arm Slinky and a Fushigi ball (it works better in Zero gravity, who’d of thunk it?). He also thinks zippers are cool shit and always likes fidgeting with them when he sports them at the store.

Fidget spinners. Todd, of course, has them. He had a handful of special spinners but he’s more of a purist when it comes to fidget spinners and fidget spinner collecting. He also enjoys marble meshes (only fidgets with them in private however). Has two mini spinner and will not buy another one because he regretted buying a second one. Fidgets a lot with controlers and keyboards already.

Felicia doesn’t fidget. As for she has no need for it.

Dot! (Drawful host) loves stress balls! Not the foam ones, ones with spikes or any shaggy ones, but like she likes Orbeez™ stress balls, DNA balls, fruit stress balls and some large Moj Moj jelly squishes. She cuts the mesh of her stress balls. A fan of pop tubes and monkey noodles as well. (Also has a fuzzy Tangle Jr.™ she occasionally used when she’s excited.) Doesn’t like NeeDoh™ stress balls, Kinetic sand™ or slow rising squishes. Has a lot of DIY fidget toys she made with Dixie (her favorite is her DIY Dimpls™)

Dixie (Dictionarium host) is a squishy addict. Has a couple DIY fidget toys she made with Dot! a couple times (her favorite is her DIY bike chains). She knaws on a chew tube while writing so she doesn’t chew through her pencils and pens. Has fidget rings but they aren’t magnetic like Glargan’s. She prefers foam stress balls (surprisingly) over all other types of stress balls and manipulates Kinetic sand™ when she has some free time. Also owns a Fidget pad she uses in waiting rooms and a magic puzzle ball she uses when she takes public transportation.

And finally Greg likes most fidgets that can be fidgeted with one hand and fidgets with then when he’s on breaks or at home.

I’ll do a part two eventually with some non host characters sprinkled in for funsies.

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