mouthporn.net
@captainanndor on Tumblr
Avatar

The Adventures of Captain Anndor

@captainanndor / captainanndor.tumblr.com

There is no coherent thread connecting my posts and reblogs. All whimsy and impulse all the time.
Avatar

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

The US is not officially bilingual but it's impossible to avoid Spanish in most places, especially cities. You have to be intentionally ignorant to not pick up at least please, thank you, hello, yes/no, etc. I took a little bit of Spanish in high school as well and then went to Mexico for a week. Not fluent at all but comfortable enough as a tourist while I was there because I could be polite, order bottled water or drinks with no ice, get a general idea of the menus, ask for directions to the bathroom, etc. Most importantly I was able to understand the 3 guys in the water enough to negotiate "only 10 pesos to pet the shark you're holding??" before jumping off the dock, to the horror of my classmates and chaperones. Totally worth it (I was very confident it was just a large sand shark and therefore low risk - none of the guys or me got bit and they let it swim away after lol)

Avatar
Avatar
annacaffeina

Ok, to prove to my husband that this is more a European device than a U.S. device I am going to need more non-US people to reblog this.

Do not reblog for science. No science will be happening. Reblog to help me prove a point!

(If I am right I will show him this poll. If I am wrong he will never know this happened)

I only know what it is because my sister in law heard of them somewhere and got one. I'm 41, in the US, and had never seen/heard of them before last year.

Avatar
Avatar
lauralot89

if you ever feel incompetent just remember that Dracula was a military leader who graduated from wizard school and yet his best plan to break into a house was to throw a wolf through a window

Avatar
Avatar
gadzooksvol1

i just remembered that post on reddit or whatever where people were like "this has to be cillian murphy because the first image you see when you google him is hideous" hold on it's so funny do you guys know what i'm talking about

op turned off reblogs so here it is as screenshots

Avatar
Avatar
casyawn

my mom just had a 7cm brain tumor removed and since she's woken up she's been talking nonstop about this dream she had about going to an art gallery full of colourful paintings by a 'homosexual artist' named klimsdorf who was ethereal and wise, both young and old... at first she was convinced he was a real person but after failing to find him online she's accepted he was a figment of her subconscious mind and is now determined to bring him to life via painting his portrait herself. she's 67 and has never drawn in her life. and now this. blorbo from her tumor

Avatar
Avatar
tricktster

I ever tell you guys about my ethically dubious radio show back in college? The Mad Dad Hour?

it was an entire radio show built around perpetuating a very simple joke, but it was uniquely powerful in its capacity to prompt the reaction I was looking for.

so my slot was at the tail end of rush hour, and i got a fair number of listeners/callers who were on the way home from the office. And like, I had a lot of callers, who almost all wanted to request songs that really didn’t fit with the aesthetic. I had pitched a power pop show when i got my slot, but the callers were not having it; they invariably wanted classic rock.

this made sense in a way. if you think about the demographics of the people who listened to the radio for music in 2010 instead of their ipods or cds or whatever, you’d expect them to skew older right? accordingly, i quickly realized that almost all of the people who called to request songs were Dads of a Certain Age. It was honestly annoying at first - I’m all for most classic rock, but that wasn’t what the show was supposed to be.

And so one day, when i was feeling particularly annoyed with requests that just didn’t fit thematically, i came up with the joke that rapidly became the only reason I kept the show going. Per station rules, I had to play a certain number of pre-recorded PSAs during my show, and before I cut to one I was supposed to read out the song titles and artists for all the music i had played before the break. So this one day when i had to inform the world before the break that the song they just heard was, per a listener’s request, Hey Jude by the Beatles, I decided to do a goof. I said:

“and finally, that last song you heard was Hey Jude, which was of course written and performed by the Rolling Stones.”

I barely had time to get the ads going before the phone started ringing. See, I had been assuming people would realize i was making an obvious joke by claiming one of the most well-known Beatles tracks was a Stones song, but i had failed to consider that my listeners were mostly 55-70 year old dads who were irritated from a long day in the office.

And when those dads heard me, a millennial woman, get the artist of an extremely well-known beatles song WRONG???!

they HAD to call in to correct my ignorance. never in a polite way either, it was condescending and annoyed or nothing. and like, they were just SO personally insulted by my inaccurate reporting that it took a massive amount of effort for me to avoid cracking up during the call. I had never understood why some people would enjoy trolling random strangers on the internet before, but in that moment, I understood the appeal entirely.

obviously i did it again right before the next commercial break, immediately after playing Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen David Bowie.

the phone immediately began to ring.

“ARE YOU AN IDIOT?” one of the callers began, “DAVID BOWIE???? THAT WAS QUEEN!”

“I thought David Bowie was the lead singer of Queen though?” I replied with as much innocent earnestness as i could conjure.

I could hear an intake of breath as the infuriated boomer on the other end of the line struggled to figure out where to even start.

And thus, the Mad Dad Hour was born.

@eduards-stuff I kept doing the same joke for an hour a week for an entire year, and the dads NEVER caught on. After episode 1 of the new format I started taking the angry dad calls on air, which added another layer of hilarity to the whole concept.

My friends on campus knew that hay I was doing and enjoyed tuning in, but only one actual listener ever figured out what I was doing, and he was literally a random 30 year old guy from the netherlands with access to an early internet connection radio service. He was possibly my only actual fan. I only know about him because he went to the effort of making a skype and paying for international service so he could call in, and while I got a few calls from him, the first remains my favorite:

me: hi there, you’ve got TST-
him: *strained, wheezing dutch laughter*
me: hey, is everything o-
him: pfffHAHAHAAH YOU MAKE THEM SO MAD. THEY THINK SO LITTLE OF YOUUUUUUUU BUT THE MEN ARE THE ONES WHO ARE FOOLISH! HA! HA! HA! YOU HAVE DUPED THEM!
me: sir i do not know you and i have never even seen you but i am in romantic love with you.
You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.
mouthporn.net