Have courage and be kind.

september, s.t.

It’s the burning rage inside me that gives me that luminous glow (:

I Am Not Okay With This (2020- ), Titanic (1997), Stranger Things (2016- ), Silver Linings Playbook (2012), Black Panther (2018), The Breakfast Club (1985), Sex Education (2019- ),  The Walking Dead (2010- ), Bring It On (2000), Derry Girls (2018- )

so i’ve seen this around a lot and i always felt like the version i listened to just. didn’t have everything? sO! i edited together my three favourite versions of the tik tok sea shanty! enjoy!!

(listen with headphones if possible!)

(yes i know the ending is bad oKaY-)

This is my favorite thing I’ve ever seen on TikTok

so how is it going so far?

the men in my life are all good men, or, at least, they are men who are not violent - and that is enough for a man to be considered good; that he could be violent but is not.

the men in my life are good men. recently at a hardware store one of the men in my life let me stand behind him, just a little, in that ghosting way that girls can learn. the disappearing technique we master of shadowing behind our Good Men. this was to protect me from a man who was not-being-good.

i fall down. one of the good men in my life offers me one arm like a knight, we are laughing while i clamber back onto my feet. i give the good men in my life piggy back rides because i like to show off how strong i am. i give the good men in my life run-at-them hugs. i let the good men in my life pick me up like i am a sack of grain; i get the good men in my life coffee, i make them sandwiches, i teach them dancing.

i am a man-hater, obviously. i am gay enough the insult is sort of funny. waiting for the bus, where there are men who are not-known-to-be-good, i google how to make a fist. i can never remember if the thumb goes on the outside or the inside, only that it is imperative that i do not fuck it up or i will break my thumb at the same time the man tries to break me. 

i walk my dog around the track only-at-dusk and-no-later. i made that mistake once, in august, hoping i could take a later run and maybe see the stars - i romanticized the idea of being able to skulk like a fox. the man that followed me across three lawns, two road-crossings, and back to my car - he spent the whole time whistling. the good men in my life say - oh, do you need me to come with you? and are actually asking - do you feel safe?

i fall down in a supermarket. a man i do not know grabs the inside of my knee. i do not know if the man is good, but i am supposed to give men the benefit of the doubt, so i laugh while standing. a man trying-to-be-in-my-life says what, no hug? and i have to decide if it worth it to just take off or put up with it. a man who-might-not-be-good stares at me while i walk by - i have to calculate if he’s just looking or if he’s watching. other men have badly hurt me, physically. the casual remark made is that those men are not real men. but they were real enough, to me.

there are many men who are mad at me. an entire reddit thread once was dedicated to how to dox me for feminist ranting - it was kind of funny, when it wasn’t downright scary. i have been stalked and harassed and treated horribly. they are all good men, in their own lives, you know. they are not violent, usually, unless provoked, and all it takes for a man to be good is for him to not be violent unless provoked, and i am, of course, always provoking.

a man in my life rolls his eyes. “i am sick of hearing this. we get it, all men are fucking evil. get over it.”

a man who-is-not-good shouts something unwritable at me. i have to tell the good man i am standing next to - it’s okay, this is nothing compared to what-could-be, this happens, it’s really not that big of a deal to me. 

“but it should be,” he says. “it should be.”

do you ever think about how fucking iconic and amazing mulan is in every way, and do you ever think of how much better it could be, like taking accidental subtext and making it real, like making shang the bisexual icon we deserve and mulan the genderfluid princess warrior of my heart, about mulan struggling to give herself over and fight for a country and emperor that would sentence her father to death for being too old too fight, about her struggling with being a solider in a war that she believes in but in a emperor who’s actions seem uncaring to her, about how much more real and grounded and true this fantastic story could have been if they made the parallel of wanting to belong but not belonging and an outsider looking in not just about gender and sexuality, but of the chinese diaspora pulled in two directions and this third one of themusme, how this could have been a love letter to the american chinese people who should have been the creative forces behind this movie, how much more impactful it could be if instead of making the fan a symbol of femininity, which it just wasn’t in ancient china, it was instead a symbol of china and when mulan masters the fan, as a woman and a warrior, she not only masters the duel genders she’s felt pulled between, but also masters her relationship with china as a governing state and as a people that she must protect, how it’s impossible for her to seperate the two even though she wants to, where the whole concept of the mulan story is layers and layers of notonebutbothandneither and how this repetitive turning over different aspects of the story means so many things and turns mulan into a radical political statement and also a home for us all to return to

do you ever think about that 

*stays home* i should’ve gone out

*goes out* i should’ve stayed home

hamilton + favorite lyrics

Not to get emo on main but you ever think about how the troop sang about their dreams of finding “a girl worth fighting for”, and they think their girl worth fighting for is one of romance, but the song abruptly comes to a halt when they find a different girl worth fighting for.

A tiny girl that had been killed at the hands of the Huns. A child too weak, too small to have any chance of withstanding the murderous invaders. That is their girl worth fighting for.

yall coping ?

no

quitting my job to become a full time knight of ren, thats right i’m gonna just stand around looking all cool and goth and hope nobody notices i’m not doing a damn thing