mouthporn.net
@captaainswaan on Tumblr
Avatar

@captaainswaan / captaainswaan.tumblr.com

I would pay for emma swan to punch me in the face
Avatar
Avatar
beachdeath

the most #UselessLesbian thing i have ever done was when i was trying to figure out if this girl liked me or not, just constantly arguing with myself about it, and after a couple, uh, months, of this, i was like, “god i wish i could just like… go to court and lay out all this evidence and have a couple lawyers argue over the TRUE MEANING of her text messages, and then a judge tells me if she likes me or not.” and then the proverbial lightbulb went off over my proverbial head, and i dug into my mock trial folder from high school and found the trial guidelines and i wrote out an entire trial transcript featuring a plaintiff (me), my attorney (my wildest hopes and dreams), a defense attorney (my worst fears and insecurities), and a judge (my desperate attempt at rationality). the final product was several thousand words long. it clarified nothing. at any point in this process did it occur to me to ask her how she felt about me? absolutely not. did i ever stop and think, “hey, maybe i should tell her that i like her?” absolutely not. that’s for people who take risks and i don’t take risks i take myself to court in my own head.

Avatar

when a native speaker asks you “do you know what that word you used means?” and you immediately question your entire knowledge of that language and assume the word has 76342 secret and presumably offensive meanings that you didn’t know about

Avatar

infuriating how men created, benefit from, and reinforce the diet culture that teaches women our worth is measured by our weight and yet men will also act like women’s sensitivity over our weight is just some weird chick thing they couldn’t possibly understand or extend empathy over

Avatar

Ya know I really had to give that whole d*ddy dom shit a side eye because I was on POF and this guy messaged me about being into it. He mentioned in the conversation (he meant for this to be a cute funny story, mind you) that while he was at Toys R us shopping for his young niece, he ended up getting an erection in one of the aisles because he heard a young girl telling her mother what toy she wanted. Apparently, he had “trained” his girlfriend to talk like a child and used to by toys for her so the whole atmosphere + kids aroused him. Like I guess constantly associated children/childish things with sex had a Pavlovian response? Honestly??? I think it’s time we discussed how more often than not, some of these “kinks” can and do spill over into real life and it’s dangerous

You know what’s real cute? I have disgusting men and their brainwashed girlfriends in my inbox claiming that I’m “kink shaming” that pervert for having a “natural reaction” and that what he and his gf do in private is their business. Sweetheart, the minute you start getting boners around children that becomes my business. I’m still not over how nonchalantly he mentioned this to me as if I’d find it hilarious

Because to them their kink is more important than protecting children and not sexualizing them

Avatar
wuh2k

If your kink is getting hard hearing children’s voices in a toy shop then it’s not a kink you’re a motherfucking paedophile.

I don’t know how to explain to anyone that getting a hard on from hearing children’s voices in a toy shop is paedophilia. It’s paedophilia 101. If he’d been wearing sunglasses and a trenchcoat he’d have ticked all the boxes for the archetype of a fucking paedophile.

But it’s just a kink.

Avatar
pileofknives

Fandom is cancelled, we’re going back to casually enjoying media and not basing our fucking identities around the shit we consume.

Avatar
yzghuldar

Hah, tell that to Tumblr.

My friend I have some great news about what platform I originally posted this to

Avatar
Avatar
effyeffa

when you go back to daydreaming after having been interrupted and your brain does a previously on of your fantasy

Avatar
allovera

When you go back to daydreaming after being startled into the real world and your brain has to search through the ‘recently closed’ tabs to remember what you were daydreaming about

ok mood

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.
mouthporn.net