Hey I have a question: how do you tell whumperflies from sexual attraction?
I've been questioning if I'm ace and, after finding out what sexual attraction feels like for most allosexuals, I think what I've always assumed was sexual attraction might NOT be. I've figured out that having the same reaction to someone attractive being nude as when they're wearing pretty clothes is probably aesthetic attraction, since apparently allosexuals want to have sex with attractive people and think they look more attractive with clothes off... I do not.
Anyway! I always assumed that euphoric feeling of seeing a character get heavily whumped / seeing a very good whumper in action was sexual attraction. Like I'll see a whumper whump a character and just destroy them so completely perfectly and my mind just goes "yesssssss <3" and my heart beats faster and I get a rush. I always assumed this sexual attraction. Can you help me determine if it is?
I've not talked about this with non-whumpers because they'd just think I'm weird for liking whump in the first place. And I noticed the whump community is full of aces.
TL;DR: I might be ace but I can't tell if my feelings during whump scenes are sexual attraction or whumperflies.
Whumperflies are a hard thing to pin down sometimes because for some people it is sexual. But as someone on the aspec, for me it's as simple as asking myself these questions:
When I get whumperflies, do I feel the desire to perform sexual acts with [x] character and/or in [x] scenario? No? Then it's not sexual attraction.
Do I think this character looks pretty/handsome/interesting in this scenario? Sure! Do I feel the desire to perform sexual acts with them? No? Then it's aesthetic attraction, not sexual.
I hope that helps somewhat and you can find the answers you're looking for! Maybe other ace members of the community can chime in with their experience too!
I'm ace, too - and yeah, trying to articulate differences between whumperflies and sexual arousal (as aspec) can be hard.
Whumperflies for me arise from aesthetic and emotional excitement. It's the thrill I get from emotionally connecting with a character in a whumpy situation who happens to be depicted in that situation in an aesthetic way to me.
One question I've asked myself to help me distinguish this from definitions of sexual arousal is: how do you feel when whump tropes you like are place in a sexually oriented scenario?
I have favourite whump tropes that I love and almost always get whumperflies over, but if those tropes are in a sexual setting and the seriousness of the emotional/physical whump aspect of the trope are lost to the sexual-ness, I lose interest. (I'd be happy to give examples if anyone wanted - but I'll just keep it generic for now/here!)
For me, this helps me distinguish between whumperflies and sexual arousal.
The physical response to whumperflies may overlap in some ways to what sexual arousal might (from what I understand), but arousal (involuntary reaction) is also different from sexual attraction (desire that can be acted on). Whumperflies are like an excitement over something thrilling happening and (from my understanding) sexual attraction would be some desire for sexual activity with the involved character/person or in the involved scenario.
This post by @/killian-whump discusses this overlap with whump and sexual arousal in light of asexuality and sexuality - I recommend checking it out!!