Emo Nemo

enemies to lovers

Lying to children is fun when they know you are being ridiculous. When you hold up a carrot like “guys look at this huge Cheeto” and they all scream “NOOOOOOOOO that’s a CARE-OTT!”

“What? No, it’s my giant Cheeto.”

“NOOOOOOO!”

When I was a camp counselor a fellow counselor claimed that any silly camp song we sang was “his next hit single” and we should all follow him on SoundCloud and he stuck by this daily and it never ceased to amuse both the adults and the children.

When children are small and learning to count and you say the numbers out of order? Peak comedy.

“How many toys are there? Let’s see… oneeee, twooo, six!”

“NO! One two three!”

“What? Are you sure? Let me try again. One, two… six?”

“Noooooo!”

Once reduced a toddler into a fit of giggles by singing “A B C D E F Q.”

Tags from @windyvalleyzone

on Halloween at the store i work at there was a little boy in a Batman costume, and as I was helping his mom I kept addressing him as Mr. Superman and Mr. Aquaman & he kept correcting me, “noooo, BATMAN” until they were leaving and he very seriously told me, “actully, I’m Ryan”

@wearepaladin

my favourite thing to do when a small child hands me a random object with no clear intent is to answer it like a cell phone. Gets em every time

there's just nothing that beats being at home. the world will try to convince me i should be doing more and it's like yeah but im at home

like if youre at home right now just take a minute to be like UGH yes im at home 

thank god for american public transit !!! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

You get on the bus and then everyone does the Flintstones thing

Which bender would you be?? 🌊🪨🔥💨 This was such a fun thing to try! 

*constantly daydreams about you*

found this in the comments of a blazed post n im keeping it for future use

if i ever come off a little weird and you wonder if theres something wrong with me there is theres actually so many things wrong with me but im doing such a good job being normal. so you should actually be proud of me you should smile and be like wow youre doing such a good job and then be on your merry way