burn up with the water, the floods are on the plains
~
It’s probably the dumbest photo he’s ever taken. The certificate was upside down, the bunny ear were way off, and both of their faces were goofy as ever.
So, obviously he had it framed.
It feels heavy when he picks it up. Like it hold more than just a plastic frame.
Peter was dead. He’s been dead for a good while now. But he couldn’t get past it. There were times, when he closed his eyes and tried to sleep, where the frightened boy’s last words would replay slowly in his ears. Where he would have to get up and wash his hands because he could feel the dust on them.
He couldn’t move on, and he hated it. It was more than just the fate of the world. It was Peter, it was all Peter.
“Tony.” Pepper’s voice enters the room softly. She looked beautiful as ever, hair up and wispy.
Tony kind of had to get over it soon, considering he had a kid of his own on the way.
(He was my own kid—)
“Hey, Pep. How you feeling?” He asks.
She smiles softly. “Like crap. Nothing new.”
She comes over and wraps her arms around his torso. It’s nice to feel her safe in his arms. There were so many moments up there in the empty of space, when he thought he’d never feel this feeling again. It was one of those times that lately he’s been able to find light in the dark.
“Tony, I have news,” she said, still within the hug.
“And what’s that?”
He felt her breath on his neck. “It’s a boy. The baby is a boy.”
Tony feels his stomach flare. “We’re having a boy?”
Pepper nods. “Just thought you could use some good news today.”
Tony smiles. “Thank you for telling me.”
And there they stood, arm in arm, in the quiet of the kitchen.
Steve Rogers was downstairs. He wasn’t his enemy. Not even if he was pretentious as ever, he was the good guy. He lost too.
Clint seemed the most distraught. He lost, and he lost badly. He didn’t have to say it, you could just tell. The only one who seemed to know anything about it was Nat, and even she seemed distant.
But they were working on it. Slowly, bit by bit, they were coming back together.
And now, with Carol Danvers at their side, there wasn’t time to fail.
“Hey.” Pepper’s voice was light. “What are you thinking about?”
Tony thinks for a moment. “Baby names.”
“Baby names?” Pepper says with a laugh. “Can I hear them?”
“They’re kinda embarrassing. If I’m honest.” Tony replies.
“They can’t be that bad.”
“Well…I think they should have some importance to you, and all of mine are centered around me-”
“Lets name him Peter.” She interrupts.
Tony stops dead in tracks, because it’s the one thing he didn’t think she would say.
“Pep,” he cracks out. “You sure?”
She takes his face in her hands. They’re soft and delicate and warm against the cold of his face.
She doesn’t look happy. No one looks happy, exactly. Not when there’s still a bit of dust coating everything; not when there were children’s graves and memorials were littered around the cities.
But she looked content and oh so beautiful, and in that moment, there’s a small fleeting hope that things could stay that way.
“I’m positive. I…I like the name.” She resounds.
Tony smiles back at her sadly, gently turning back to pick up the picture frame. He strokes the side slowly with his thumb. “I want him here. With us.”
Pepper seems to understand. She nods and she puts a hand on it too. Peter and her had gotten closer as the months went on. May and her were friends. They went out for brunch together. They did normal mom things.
But now? May was home, alone, wallowing in all that was gone.
“We should go to May. She deserves to know.” Pepper whispers, setting the picture down for him.
Tony clears his throat. “Agreed. I-I feel bad for not going before.”
“Don’t be,” she replies. “I went there a few days before you came back. She…she wanted to be alone.”
Tony nods and tries to hide the fact that he starting to cry. There was that awfully sad feeling stuck in his throat again.
“Hey,” a new voice appears. Happy. “Want me to drive?”
Happy had a look on his face that didn’t often come out. It was low and sad, bags under his eyes making him seem much,much, older. He missed Peter too. Everyone who had ever met him did.
“Sure, Hap. May might want to see you to.” Pepper supplies.
And with forced smiles, the three made their way to Queens.
~
The Parker residence was one of the only apartments in the complex that was still occupied. The only one on the entire floor with someone in it. But with a loss so great, things like rent and real estate weren’t of great importance.
So as Tony made his way down the dirty hallway, with Pepper and Happy right behind him, he can’t help but think…this is not worth Thanos’s plan. It never thought it was a good plan. He absolutely did not want it to happen. But the damage was so great that it was a shock to him. Thanos wasn’t an illogical being. He had a reason.
(It was such a stupid reason.)
So why was the cost illogical? It didn’t make sense. What did make sense? That Thanos was pure, lawful, unforgiving evil. And Tony wasn’t in the mood to deal with it anymore.
Tony knocks slowly on the door.
“May? It’s-It’s Tony.”
There’s russling behind the door before it opens slowly.
May Parker stood there in the doorway. She looked skinnier than ever, like there were days where she didn’t eat. The bags under eyes looked more like bruises. Her clothes were wrinkled and baggy. And yet, she still had a deep, dark, fire in her eyes.
“You’re alive,” is all she says. Tony slowly nods his head, taking Pepper’s hand in his.
“You doing alright?” Pepper asks her, reaching out her other hand. May takes it slowly, shaking slightly as her fingers curl into Pepper’s.
“I’m-I’m getting there,” she laments. “Do you guys want to come in?”
She backs up to lead the way, showing off the mostly empty apartment. Everything is clean, super clean, like it was all she ever did.
Tony watches as Pepper takes May in her arms, not unlike the way she did to him earlier. Happy stands solemnly and awkwardly in front of the closed door, while Tony finds himself with his hands stuffed in his pockets, looking distantly at the other pictures that the nearby shelf entails.
“You’ve been eating?” Pepper questions almost silently, hopeful the other men couldn’t hear. May nods slowly, and at Pepper’s raised eyebrow, she supplies: “I had some cereal this morning, I promise.”
Pepper gives her a small smile, taking both of May’s hand in hers.
“I’ve got some exciting news,” Pepper announces.
May tilts her head and returns the tiny smiles. “What is it?”
“We’re having a boy.”
May’s face broke into a mixture of excitement and pride, and Tony can see the tears form in her eyes.
“A boy?” She echoes through tears.
“You are?” Happy chirps from his place. Tony whips around to Happy, forgetting the didn’t tell him. The sides of his lips twist up just a little bit, but the grin was really all in his eyes.
“Yeah, he’s a boy. And…” Pepper put May’s hand on her stomach. “We wanted to name him Peter.”
May slowly lifts her head to meet Pepper’s eyes, a look of disbelief flashing all over her face.
Pepper beams. “Only if you consent to it, of course.”
“Consent?” May laughs. “Of course I consent!”
Tony decides to break in. “Well, that’s real good. Because you’re his godmother.”
It’s a spur of the moment decision, yet Pepper looks at him with agreement. May’s mouth opens slightly in surprise, but closes only seconds after. She looks like she’s about to sob, but she cuts it off with a smile.
Pepper wipes away the tears softly. Tony feels a pang of remorse for the woman strike his heart. She was young than him, but not by very much. She didn’t deserve to lose as much as she did. First the Parker’s, then her husband, and now…her son. Sure, nephew by law, but that was her son.
May takes a strangled breath and pulls herself together. “This is cause for celebration. Pep, come to the kitchen with me? I’ve got some cheese and crackers somewhere…”
The women’s chatter fades as Tony moves back towards Happy. He has a look on his face that Tony couldn’t quite place.
“What’s up , Hap?”
Happy looks up at him and sighs. “Nothing, nothing. It’s just sad. I guess.”
“I know,” Tony chokes. Goddamn lump in his throat. He swallows it down, along with the tears. He hates being on the verge of tears so often. He knows he’s no different from anyone else.
He makes another decision. “Hap, you want to be his godfather?”
Happy’s eyes winden. “Well, absolutely, Boss, but what about Rhodey?”
Tony had actually thought that one through. “Plan was to name him Peter Rhodes. I think that should suffice for Rhodey. And it sounds cooler than Peter James.”
Happy grins back at him. Tony claps him on the back as the ladies come back, arms full of food and a couple bottles of wine.
(And some iced tea for Pepper. She ain’t about to risk anything.)
So as Tony engaged with his found family members, drinking and eating and acting as if the air wasn’t still thick with dust and grief, the lump in his throat disappears.
Peter was dead. He knew that. He accepted that. But there was no accepting defeat.
There was a chance to win. A small one, yes. Maybe it wouldn’t even work. But there was enough hope in him that he couldn’t see a lose.
He saw them winning.
Whatever it takes.