ass machine broke

simon petrikov if he puts that damn crown back on

I have to face the reality that this is the only social media I can thrive on. Every time I have a funny thought now I have to put it on my Instagram story over a selfie of my forehead. Humans weren't meant to live that way. This is the equivalent of writing something in a gas station bathroom and checking what people have added every time you go in to buy taquitos

L + ratio + not special + creep + weirdo + don’t belong here

ratiohead was right there

This is how I feel at my family gatherings as they all glare at me with critical eyes. Honestly I’m going to do heroin on the streets, fuck your traditional family and reputation. Goodbye

Kill you stupid fucking

whenever my program freezes

Hey man when you got struck by lightning we all saw your skeleton and it.was really effeminate and demure.

I never understood why "Sucks dick" means "Thing nobody likes" should be the polar opposite "This meal is so good, it sucks dick!" You know? OH SHIT

?

Nice t on christ, shows the authenticity

I like how Jesus dots his i with a flower like an 8 year old girl

I don’t believe it. Thanks, I hate it.

Okay, here’s what the headline doesn’t tell you:

But aside that, if you ever wonder why scientists work on all these little patch solutions for large, systemic problems, its because the people doing science research are not the people deciding how national and international policy is made.

Every time a scientist talks about how they’re working on something like de-extinction projects or artificial albedo creation there’s the inevitable sneering about how “we should just not let the animals go extinct in the first place” or “we should cut back on carbon emissions” as if those were not decisions being made by governments and oligarchs.

An industrial design student’s authority in his society stops at “make a cute robot”.

And also, this is your daily reminder that “headlines are lies designed to make you mad and/or get you to read the article.”

Come on.

brb gotta to go splash water on my face in the mens bathroom and look haggardly at myself in the mirror

can you do that somehwhere else i'm changing my baby right here and he is freaking the fuck out

*holds your baby up to the mirror and he rapidly becomes more haggard as my face reverts steadily to an expression of youthful cheer*