I think if indiana jones' adoring students ever went on an Adventure(tm) with him it would be really funny if that was the turn off. like, a routine dig he was leading for the school goes awry and he has to get all cocky gunslinger ladies man hero mode and the students are like. hey what the fuck. his shirt gets ripped up revealing he's jacked and that one girl is immediately wiping the 'I love you' make up off her eyes. an entire room filled with artifacts gets destroyed while they make an escape and the kids are all horrified. "professor jones. how many people have you killed" "well, do you count the damn nazis as people-" "UNFORTUNATELY YES. LEGALLY YES. ARE ALL ARCHEOLOGISTS MURDERERS." he's flirting with some random woman on the dig and all the students are like what the hell. you can't talk like that. where did the droning and stutter go. why are you not flustered. she inevitably swoons into his arms or something and they're like "oh my God eww he's so sweaty. ma'am literally what's wrong with you. blink twice if you need help". they're so betrayed to find out he never even NEEDED glasses, he was wearing nonprescription lenses in class. Indy's lowkey hurt he's like I thought you guys thought I was cool :( and they're like 'yeah when you're in a bowtie and telling us about sumarian gardening techniques. WHY do you have a whip right now you freak'

I’m watching The Sword in the Stone for the first time in decades and I’ve gotten to the part where Merlin is trying to get Arthur to lose his virginity to a squirrel.

Y’know, if Merlin turned that squirrel into a human it would save Camelot a significant amount of problems down the road.

“Squirrels mate for life Arthur, so the chances of her fucking your best friend and inadvertently causing a schism that leads to the downfall of an entire utopian kingdom are completely nil!”

Ok hopefully this is the last time I add onto this but Arthur marrying the squirrel would stop both of the events that destroyed Camelot - namely the aforementioned falling out with Lancelot AND the birth of Mordred.  Being with him since youth, Squirrel would keep Arthur from being seduced by his half-sister Morgause (or Morgan Le Fay in the versions of the myth that cut Morgause out) when he was young and foolish, as he’d already be in a committed relationship and thus wouldn’t be able to be tricked into starting one with said half-sister.  No incest means no Mordred.  Then, as mentioned above, Squirrel would be a faithful wife, which means Guenevere would be single, which means Lancelot and Guenevere could pork each other without causing a huge row that ends with Lancelot killing dozens of his fellow knights of the round and inspiring several others to turn against Arthur out of loyalty to him.

Camelot would have been saved if Arthur just. Fucked. That. Squirrel.

You say all that but all I hear is “here is how Merlin trying to convince Arthur to become a furry could have saved the world”

Look this was a journey for me ok?

It started as “I can’t believe Disney made a movie where Merlin tries to get a squirrel to take Arthur’s virginity” and slowly became “I can’t believe Disney’s weird bestiality subplot actually solves the two biggest problems that cause Camelot’s downfall.”

Because as baffling as the squirrel fucking plotline is just on its own, the fact that it’d actually be solution to the eventual problems Arthur faces - whether anyone at Disney was actually thinking about that or not (and I’m guessing not) - is even more so.  It is bizarre and unsettling to me that squirrel fucking could have saved Camelot, and that’s, uh, the point of this I guess.

So, pointless fun fact. Around 2008, someone on 4chan actually made a ‘humanized’ version of the squirrel called ‘Hazel’ (i.e. one who had been changed to a human to be with Arthur). For a little while, there were a number of artists making pieces about her, and stories written suggesting alternate histories.

I know it’s a minor point, but I still love the notion that people are still finding ways to rewrite the story so Arthur can f*@# the squirrel.

Whole gallery of pics here, because some of this artwork gets downright amazing…

I REMEMBER THESE!!!!

Fascinating

@tyrantisterror  your legacy endures

To an ever widening group of people, I am “that guy who ranted about Arthur fucking a squirrel.”

Of all my legacies, this is certainly one of them.

I think I’ve posted about this before buuuuuuut fuck it? This makes me deliriously happy and sad. The resolution of Arthur becoming human and having to try to explain himself to a sobbing squirrel is one of my strongest childhood memories about having to deal with heartbreak and I’m literally fucking tearing up right now GOD DAMN YOU TYRANTIS.

“Ye Romance of Wart and ye Squirrel” would be a far better movie than “King Arthur: Legend of the Sword”.

It would certainly be less of a box-office bomb and franchise killer…

Not to mention, this version of Merlin lives backwards through time so knows all about the whole Morgause and Gwen/Lancelot clusterfuck, so he knows what’s coming, hence he’s got a vested interest in trying to get Wart to fuck that squirrel.

It’s a good day when this rant about squirrel fucking turns up again!

And that was the last time anybody on the team attempted polite small talk with Beard.

I’ve been working on this since eurovision and got it done just in time for the s3 finale 🥲 speaking of eurovision, if you look really really closely at the interval show you might just be able peep Beard in the background…

Isaac: …

Colin: What?

Isaac: Bumbercatch…Michael…you just have a thing for guys that make you feel tall, don’t you?

Colin: Isaac I swear to god I am the SAME HEIGHT AS JAMIE-

every friend group should include…

literally

absolutely no patience for the jury bullshit i want the REAL votes I WANT THE QUEER FREAK OPINIONS

united by music? no, united by hatred for the jury vote

What We Do In The Shadows (2014), directed by Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi 

Dragons, with jobs

Artist credit to Flamecraft!

top gun maverick but everytime Mav says “Talk to me, Goose” Goose appears in the sky like Mufasa

At the time of this posting, there are over 100 fics on AO3 with "Goncharov (1973)" tagged as their primary fandom.

(helpless laughter)

country boys wear the tightest pair of blue jeans you’ve ever seen and unbutton their flannel to the nipple like.. who at this rodeo needs to know you’re a slut. the clown?

Every time this post crosses my dash it’s tagged with a different Timothy olyphant character and you’re all correct

Police in Glasgow tried to seize “evidence” from a queer, Yiddish, anarchist vegan cafe. The high crime? Displaying a “fuck the police” tote bag in their window.

The police forced the cafe to removed the bag for “breach of peace” but staff put up an identical bag right after the seizure. Officers challenged co-founder Morgan Holleb when the bag was back up. So, he flipped it around to the Yiddish side, which also reads “fuck the police.” He then wrote “fuck the police” in permanent marker on the front door. The bag and marker remain on the door to this day.

Since the incident, the store has received over $4,400, in donations and purchases of the bag. They sold out within a week but are not available online again at pinkpeacock.gay/product/tote/.

The cafe is now open to everyone, “except cops and TERFs.”

The bag in question:

Blast from the past. DD loaned me an acoustic coupler back in 1986 when she was in the US and I was still in NI; it sounded just like that (and looked like this).

I think the original intention was to save money on phonecalls, which it may have done at her end. Not however at mine; to British Telecom a transatlantic call was a transatlantic CALL whether voice or not, and got charged accordingly.

The bills from December ‘85 to May ‘86 were astonishing, and the bills from June to December ‘86 were even worse because of that misinformation about charges. (Not that I stopped, because Reasons.) ;->

By December 28th and one transatlantic FLIGHT later, it was no longer a problem. :-)