Best attribute you can have working with kids is chillness. You can and should still enforce rules and expectations, but kids pick up massively on vibes and if you are chill, you become a dam to unchillness

Sometimes kids don’t need to hear “this behavior is unacceptable,” sometimes they need to hear “bruh.”

If you establish really clear expectations from the get-go, kids usually don’t actually need any second explanation. You can just say “dude” and they will self-correct unless they are actively trying to be disruptive.

“Guys if you don’t behave I’m not going to do the Fortnite dance for you anymore.”

“NOOOOOOOOO”

Also if you sincerely commit to being chill 99.9% of the time, they will take that remaining 0.1% WAY more seriously when it’s actually most essential. (For me this line is crossed with unwanted violence or sexual behavior toward other students, but depending on the age group the line may be drawn elsewhere: for young children it is probably more centered around dangerous behavior and personal risk.)

@vyeoh Hope it’s okay if I steal your tags and expand on them.

I’ve found it’s very effective to focus on how kids’ behavior affects others, including me, before focusing on their personal risk.

If I tell kids stuff like “stop that because you could get hurt,” common responses are “no I won’t” or “if I do I don’t care.”

I’ve found it’s actually way more effective to bring somebody else’s feelings and responsibilities into the mix so they understand OTHERS better. Examples vary by age but can look like this:

1) I know YOU feel okay dangling from the upper railing, but you are making me feel very scared and nervous. Would you mind stopping so I don’t feel scared and nervous anymore?

2) I realize YOU are willing to face consequences related to opening the fire alarm door, but if you do, I will have to go talk to the camp leader and also do an incident report, which would mean we cannot play mafia during free time today.

3) Hey. I know the street looks empty right now and we are having fun, but if a car comes around that corner and hits you, I am going to have to drive you to the emergency room and also call your mom, and I really don’t want to tell your mom I was watching you and you got hit by a car.

Another very fun thing is to say (when true) “this rule applies to EVERYONE, even grown-ups. If you are doing a good job and then you see a grown-up breaking this rule, you can tell the grown-up to stop.” They often get busy watching out for the grown-ups to break the rule and stop breaking the rule themselves.

with LITTLE kids like 4-6 i've found the best way to get them to do stuff is pretend you can't do it yourself and ask for their help. you can make a game of it like 'let's see how much we can lift or how fast we can go' but kids that are angry little demons in the face of mom and dad's constant nagging and demanding are pretty cool with helping a friend out with a problem he's having. it really engages little kids to see that a grownup guy could need help from them! and it flatters the independent kids who actually really do need, at this stage in their development, to see themselves as powerful and capable and ready to make their own decisions.

and when you absolutely need to slam the breaks on 'no it's not safe to play in the road' or whatever you just say 'i know kids die that way and your mom would be SO MAD at me if you died while i was there. let's play over here. 😢' and they always fold. Mom Will Get Mad At Me is a universal game over.

at a certain age they're bright enough to suggest that mom doesn't have to KNOW which is hilarious but the checkmate to that is just 'i will cry. come back.' even if they know that you, a grown man with a beard, probably will not cry.... they fold. but with the most gracious attitude.

Best attribute you can have working with kids is chillness. You can and should still enforce rules and expectations, but kids pick up massively on vibes and if you are chill, you become a dam to unchillness

Sometimes kids don’t need to hear “this behavior is unacceptable,” sometimes they need to hear “bruh.”

If you establish really clear expectations from the get-go, kids usually don’t actually need any second explanation. You can just say “dude” and they will self-correct unless they are actively trying to be disruptive.

“Guys if you don’t behave I’m not going to do the Fortnite dance for you anymore.”

“NOOOOOOOOO”

Also if you sincerely commit to being chill 99.9% of the time, they will take that remaining 0.1% WAY more seriously when it’s actually most essential. (For me this line is crossed with unwanted violence or sexual behavior toward other students, but depending on the age group the line may be drawn elsewhere: for young children it is probably more centered around dangerous behavior and personal risk.)

i feel like a lot of the 'i hate kids' crowd would be more tolerant if they understood that due to a kid's limited experience of the world that 4 hour flight might just be the longest they've ever had to sit still for or that trapped finger might literally be the most pain they've ever felt in their short life or they might not have ever seen a person with pink hair ever so of course they want to touch it or nobody's told them yet that they can't run around the museum and they only just learned cheetahs are the fastest animals so of course they want to put that to the test. how were they supposed to know etc etc.

some of you in the notes.. i would say read the room but you didn't even read. the post

When the Master says to the Doctor that the Cybermasters were born from her and led by him, I can’t help but be like “aww their babies”

My head just went to the scenario where they actually have kids and the Master dresses them up as Cybermen for Halloween.

“What have you done to the kids?”

“Don’t worry, I didn’t actually convert them, it’s just a costume.”

Aldjfjslfjdkjf 😂😂😂

I bet none of those little kids knew they’d be playing the Doctor, and they’ve all gone to school today and everyone’s going OH MY GOD YOU ARE THE DOCTOR!

AWW XD

You all have brain worms

Look you cant. hate children. Theyre some of the least autonomous people on the planet. They have very little control over their surroundings and what ppl do to them. Theyre scared and annoyed and the really short ones cant even open doors, so you can imagine the stress theyre under. And the younger the child the freakier it is to hate them. Oh an uncomfortable and hungry baby cried on the bus? You cried in the second floor girls bathroom in highschool every day whats the difference? A baby doesnt know shit. Its a BABY. Do you think its going out of its way to bother you or to smell funny? Its. a baby.

Also like. if youre an adult chances are kids think youre some kind of genius especially if youre in a leadership role. I was a girl scout jr troop leader for years and the girls thought I was president or some shit.

And if you still cant wrap your mind around it just think like. every time youre mean to a kid you sound like Harry Potters mean uncle or whatever

You are not “baby” you are a 26 year old loser with a negligent parent related trauma that needs unpacking

This!!!

i don’t think we acknowledge enough that when children want to be treated “like adults” what they really mean is “like people”

this is just my own observations of course but 90% of the time when a kid tries to get people to treat them like an adult, what they really want is the respect and acknowledgement that they associate with adulthood - because that’s what they must give the adults. they have to give that to the adults in their lives, but the adults never give that same respect back, and so they see that difference and decide that they want to be treated “like an adult”

and sometimes i see parents who are like fine you want to be treated like an adult then you can work and pay rent but that’s the exact OPPOSITE of what the kid is actually asking for. you’re just belittling them, clearly intending to punish them for daring ask for your respect, clearly intending for them to break down and beg to be “treated like a child” again because you purposefully twisted their wants. they ask for respect, and you give them abuse.

never, ever, ever, treat a child like a full grown adult. it’s our responsibility as adults NOT to, because they ARENT adults no matter how much they think they want to be, and it’s our job as adults to take care of them.

that said, ALWAYS treat children like people. because they ARE that. they’re real people with real agency acting as best as they know to with what knowledge they have

it’s not a matter of kids trying to grow up too fast, it’s a matter of kids wanting to be treated like people instead of objects or pets.

This!!

i don’t think we acknowledge enough that when children want to be treated “like adults” what they really mean is “like people”

this is just my own observations of course but 90% of the time when a kid tries to get people to treat them like an adult, what they really want is the respect and acknowledgement that they associate with adulthood - because that’s what they must give the adults. they have to give that to the adults in their lives, but the adults never give that same respect back, and so they see that difference and decide that they want to be treated “like an adult”

and sometimes i see parents who are like fine you want to be treated like an adult then you can work and pay rent but that’s the exact OPPOSITE of what the kid is actually asking for. you’re just belittling them, clearly intending to punish them for daring ask for your respect, clearly intending for them to break down and beg to be “treated like a child” again because you purposefully twisted their wants. they ask for respect, and you give them abuse.

never, ever, ever, treat a child like a full grown adult. it’s our responsibility as adults NOT to, because they ARENT adults no matter how much they think they want to be, and it’s our job as adults to take care of them.

that said, ALWAYS treat children like people. because they ARE that. they’re real people with real agency acting as best as they know to with what knowledge they have

it’s not a matter of kids trying to grow up too fast, it’s a matter of kids wanting to be treated like people instead of objects or pets.

This!!!

Am I the only one who thinks that hitting a kid and abuse are different things? Like, if I ever had a kid, I wouldn’t spank their ass raw or something like that. But a bop on the mouth or the ear pull or a smack upside the head? Yea. Those are behavior modifiers.

Except they’re not.

The studies done by the trained psychologists in this joke show that little kids don’t associate being hit with the thing they’ve done wrong. Very small children only understand consequences that are directly caused by the thing they did. Steal a biscuit, biscuit tastes good. Then for no reason mummy hit me. Very different to stole a biscuit, now no biscuit after dinner because I stole a biscuit.

And they also show that when a child is old enough to understand why they are being hit that non-physical punishment is equally as effective and less mentally harmful in the long run.

Do you know who benefits the most from hitting as a punishment? The parent. It gives a satisfaction rush. Parents do it because it makes them feel good.

Basically kids have two stages: too young to understand why they are being hit so physical punishment is useless for anything other than teaching a child that bigger stronger people can hit you whenever they like (Which sounds like the same lesson you would learn from abuse)

And the second stage is old enough to be reasoned with so many punishment options are available and you chose physical violence because it makes *you* feel better, which is an abusive action.

The only time a person should ever use violence against another human being, of any age, is to stop that person from being violent themselves.

This!!!

there’s nothing purer or better than how much kids enjoy being picked up and then hurled at soft surfaces

anyone who’s ever been around kids for ay meaningful amount of time should know exactly how much kids long to be hefted up and then just fuckin tossed! it’s so good! they’re so excited to get fucking tossed around like a sack of potatoes it’s so pure

Why do kids love it so much? Like I remember when I was a kid at diving practice during the summer, the best part was when one if the coaches would toss you into the deep end. And in gymnastics coaches would toss us into the foam pit. Do kids just have a evolutionary urge to die?

https://themilitarywifeandmom.com/why-kids-wont-listen/

“Vestibular sense provides information about where the body is in relation to its surroundings. This is the sense that helps you understand balance, and it connects with all the other senses.

When the vestibular system does not develop properly all other senses will struggle to function properly. Without a strong vestibular sense, kids will have no choice but to fidget, get frustrated, experience more falls and aggression, get too close to people when talking, and struggle with focusing and listening. Because they literally cannot help it.”

“Here are a few ways to support your child’s vestibular sense:

Yeeting kids, spinning them, flipping them upside down, tossing them in the air, and otherwise disrupting their balance temporarily, is Important For Their Development, specifically for their vestibular sense.

Kids love this because they NEED it.

In other words: Don’t forget to calibrate your child’s GPS!

YEET THE CHILD FOR THEIR HEALTH

Hi! Paediatric Occupational Therapist here who yeets children into pillows for a living. It’s actually more than the vestibular system! It’s also giving them proprioception, which is the feeling of your joints and muscles / where your body is in space! 

We all seek proprioceptive input, leaning against walls, pushing against the steering wheel when driving, giving your body a squeeze to wake yourself up, the list goes on! When we ‘crash’ kids into soft things like pillows or beds, we’re waking their bodies up AND calming their bodies down! In other words, getting them into this super nice zone of “just right” regulation. 

When I see a child who is bouncing off the walls and can’t seem to stand still for more than a few seconds? I start wrestling with them, crashing them into pillows, giving their body the right amount of input they need to feel good and organised. And suddenly, this kid is able to sit and play attentively or do their handwriting practice. It’s amazing! If you want to know more about why the vestibular and proprioceptive systems are awesome at making your body feel good, google those two words (and sensory processing) and read through some occupational therapy websites! 

Side note: As adults, does your body ever feel jittering/jiggly/wiggly/like it needs to move or calm down but you just can’t figure out why? That’s your sensory system saying Hey! I need to feel differently in order to function better! Here’s what you can do:

Long story short, everyone has a sensory system and we all use regulation strategies like the ones listed above to help make our body feel better. So if you ever see someone (especially kids!) fidgeting and having a hard time focusing, maybe suggest something from the list above!

Oh, this post got better, I love it!

finally- a scientific explanation as to why swings and slides are great

This is awesome!

One of the things I love about Mandalorian culture is that it basically involves loving who ever you want, raising as many kids as you want, wearing cool body armor and flying around on highly unreliable jetpacks, and trying to shoot a space wizard who can send bullets back at you which is peak herbo/himbo culture. But seriously you don't get in trouble for picking a laser sword that's the wrong color, being forced to never see your parents as a toddler because you could move blocks with your mind, or never allowed to have family or life outside the Jedi order. One of the things that the EU established is both how family oriented Mando culture and one of the reasons they dislike the Jedi is partially because they force a child to separate from their family.

So for those of you who don’t know, there’s an official Mando’a language and dictionary, and one of the most important sayings in Mandalorian culture is: 

Gar taldin ni jaonyc; gar sa buir, ori'wadaas'la.

Meaning-  Nobody cares who your father was, only the father you'll be.

Oh my God?

We stan 1 (one) culture of batshit insane jetpack warriors

Hell yes!!!

Honestly my FAVE theme from this entire season is how precious children are to all Mandalorians. We have this cult (for lack of a better term) of intense, dedicated warriors who are known all across the galaxy for how tough and ruthless they are, and they are unbelievably tender and protective of kids. Just look at the way the Mandalorian held a young Din as they flew away. Every time the word “foundling” is even mentioned there’s such a sense of collective protectiveness that just radiates off every adult Mandalorian present. It’s so nice to see that even if some are “great with kids” and others aren’t, the value of those kids and the right each one has to be safe and loved is seen and acknowledged and AGREED UPON.

Yes!!!

I'm baffled that people don't consider children as a population marginalized.

Like hint hint, children are very much marginalized

No freedom, no agency, no means of income or independence, no respect, privacy, or general sense of dignity allowed to them? That's definitely marginalized status right there. Kids are not allowed to act human, have emotions, have bad days, and are constantly expected to be "seen and not heard". Physical assault and abuse of them is completely normalized. It's socially acceptable to dislike or show visible annoyance with them over nothing. Their very existence in public places is completely stigmatized by bitter adults.

Frankly our society treats children like garbage and we gotta do better.

this is why i feel like “ageism” should be used for kids, not old people

No it can and should be applied to both. Both are discriminated against and or mistreated because of their ages.

Because old people face situations where they lack agency, have no income, have no independence, etc

This!!!

Dungeons and Dragons: A new generation.

The kids are alright

The other day I watched a little boy get knocked to the ground by an older kid who was running by. He burst into tears as his mother hurried over.

“Here’s a bandaid for ya,” I said, producing one from my vest pocket.

“Oh, he’s not bleeding, thank you though!”

I lowered my voice and leaned in. “Kids think bandaids are health magic,” I said. “Ask him where it hurts and exploit that placebo effect.”

She did just that, and instantly the kid stopped crying and thanked her. “I’ll have to remember that,” she said.

Children: #HACKED

Also if you have a crying kid give them a cup of water. You can’t cry and drink at the same time and it gives them a chance to calm down.

Tell them their going to run out of tears so they drink the water.

My mom does this at her preschool after awhile the other children start offering the crying child little cups of water.

Stuff like this is also a great test to see if the kid is actually seriously injured! Because with how much some kids cry over tiny bumps and scrapes, it can be hard to tell. But if you slap a Band-Aid on it or give them a cup of water or a piece of candy and they stop crying, they’re fine. If they keep crying despite whatever little placebo or distraction you’ve given them, you might wanna look a little closer at that injury or seek medical attention.

With my two’s class we ask them “more hurt or more scary?” It takes a bit of practice but after a few times they can answer without more prompting. More scary gets a hug and more hurt gets a look over.

That last one is so important because it validates the child’s feelings and tells them it’s okay to have these feelings and lets them learn how to deal with them, rather than just distracting them from them. I also helps teach the child to both communicate their feelings more readily and communicate when they’re hurt more clearly. All really important skills for a child to develop young.

Boost!

Once a little boy went to school. One morning The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. He liked to make all kinds; Lions and tigers, Chickens and cows, Trains and boats; And he took out his box of crayons And began to draw.

But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make flowers.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make beautiful ones With his pink and orange and blue crayons. But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And it was red, with a green stem. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at his teacher’s flower Then he looked at his own flower. He liked his flower better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just turned his paper over, And made a flower like the teacher’s. It was red, with a green stem.

On another day The teacher said: “Today we are going to make something with clay.” “Good!” thought the little boy; He liked clay. He could make all kinds of things with clay: Snakes and snowmen, Elephants and mice, Cars and trucks And he began to pull and pinch His ball of clay.

But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make a dish.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make dishes. And he began to make some That were all shapes and sizes.

But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And she showed everyone how to make One deep dish. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”

The little boy looked at the teacher’s dish; Then he looked at his own. He liked his better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just rolled his clay into a big ball again And made a dish like the teacher’s. It was a deep dish.

And pretty soon The little boy learned to wait, And to watch And to make things just like the teacher. And pretty soon He didn’t make things of his own anymore.

Then it happened That the little boy and his family Moved to another house, In another city, And the little boy Had to go to another school.

The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. And he waited for the teacher To tell what to do. But the teacher didn’t say anything. She just walked around the room.

When she came to the little boy She asked, “Don’t you want to make a picture?” “Yes,” said the little boy. “What are we going to make?” “I don’t know until you make it,” said the teacher. “How shall I make it?” asked the little boy. “Why, anyway you like,” said the teacher. “And any color?” asked the little boy. “Any color,” said the teacher. And he began to make a red flower with a green stem.

~Helen Buckley, The Little Boy

…

Damn

‘Why I never want babies’

An increasing number of South Korean women are choosing not to marry, not to have children, and not even to have relationships with men. With the lowest fertility rate in the world, the country’s population will start shrinking unless something changes.

“I have no plans to have children, ever,” says 24-year-old Jang Yun-hwa, as we chat in a hipsterish cafe in the middle of Seoul.

“I don’t want the physical pain of childbirth. And it would be detrimental to my career.”

Like many young adults in South Korea’s hyper-competitive job market, Yun-hwa, a web comic artist, has worked hard to get where she is and isn’t ready to let all that hard graft go to waste.

“Rather than be part of a family, I’d like to be independent and live alone and achieve my dreams,” she says.

…

When I put it to her that if she and her contemporaries don’t have children her country’s culture will die, she tells me that it’s time for the male-dominated culture to go.

“Must die,” she says, breaking into English. “Must die!”

Besides the educational system is so shit that having a kid would be cruel at this point