gonna grow you a place safer than this

Via

“Average household has 2.3 children” factoid actually just statistical error. Robins Georg, who lives in cave and adopts over 10,000 each day, is an outlier and should not have been counted

“why so yurious”

-the fujoker

"I swing both ways" umm yeah that's how swings work idiot.

The opposite of “bonfire” is, presumably, “malice.”

Hey English language, fuck you, wow

GIRL NO YOU’RE MOURNING SOMETHING THAT HASN’T EVEN HAPPENED YET AGAIN!!!!!!

tags via @threetrenchcoatsinatrenchcoat

i thought all weens were hollow in some sense?

Oh honey I don't just have bush. I have the whole administration

inside of you there are two intestines.

one of them is large, and the other is small.

Oh so he’s doing eugenics now

elon musk reinvents the lobotomy

Babe wake up, lobotomy 2 just dropped

Give me a gun and Autism will solve Elon Musk

i love canceling plans. dear maria count me out

there's istg, and there's istfg, and then there's isttvg

heavy is the guy that loves the sandvich

ARE YOU TODAY’S DATE?

BECAUSE YOURE 10/10

i’ve waited one year to reblog this

when i was a young boy i had the philosophy of ‘balls are the boobs of the penis so its ok that i want to suck on them it doesn’t make me gay” and tbh i was cooking

to see a marching band