Tony Stark in Avengers: Infinity War & Endgame A Fully Realised Dad

Tony Stark being soft

The canonical name for the Thanos Snap is The Decimation which is really underwhelming and etymologically incorrect.

The Duocimation doesn’t really roll of the tongue.

The Halfenning

The Cosmic Coin Toss.

Duck duck dust

The Shittiest Lottery

The Thanos Can’t Mathening

The d% of Doom

What Happens When You Flunk Sociology

An Objectivist’s Idea of Solving Artificial Scarcity

“Don’t let your Purple Children Read Ayn Rand”

Another One Bites the Dust, Queen (1980)

These are fucking beautiful

Yes he does, Peter.

Like father like son

Reach but what if Steve shaves his beard after Tony is already back on earth… I mean it’s such a minor detail so there’s no reason to really theorise but like he grew a depression beard because he missed Tony and now things are even worse because Tony is presumed dead along with billions of people?? And now he decides it’s time to shave? idk it just seems weird

The beard actually gets longer when he thinks tony’s died because that is Peak Mourning Beard so he looks like albus Dumbledore until tony comes back and tells him to cut that shit off immediately unless Steve wants him to die for real

I’m sorry

“My battery is low and it is getting dark” is the Mars Rover version of “I don’t feel so good, Mr. Stark.” 

I’m emotionally compromised by both.

FUCK

Did I do this right?

Percect

infinity war seems a lot more unnecessary when you remember that the mcu canonically has two (2) elders of the universe who could literally wipe the floor with thanos. like huge battle, Everything is bad, suddenly the grandmaster and the collector roll up in their party bus techno music blaring and thanos is melted into a puddle instantly

“Fuckin sweet” the collector says as he picks up the infinity gauntlet with his bare fucking hands “this is gonna look great above my big screen tv”

“who gives, uh, a shit about some shiny rocks? my trophy twink is here” calls out the grandmaster. he whisks loki away and they disappear in a puff of golden glitter to go play games across the stars

I mean. Fuck. This isn’t wrong

wait the Grandmaster is powerful? its a Deity? I thought he;s just an alien?

he’s, uh, kinda powerful yeah

Hes not nearly strong enough to beat thanos. That list basically just says hes stronger than a human and immortal

“h,hey you big purple dipshit”

says the grandmaster upon 1) rearranging thanos’s matter into vapor and then 2) subjecting each particle to a blinding blast of kinetic energy and then 3) teleporting each god damn remaining particle to a different corner of the universe,

“i know you liked having a, a body, and all, but uhhhhh this is what you get if you mess with my, my beautiful boyfriend here,” he waves over the battlefield and in loki’s general direction, “and the, the rest of the planet too. there’s skee ball here. skee ball, skee ball is great. so wh-whatever”

the collector is still fawning over the pretty rocks stuck in the infinity gauntlet (which he is still holding with his bare fucking hands) but he does get back into the party bus with it, which stan lee is driving

“bye, losers,” loki says before disappearing into the ether with his sugar daddy in a puff of golden glitter. the day is saved. peter parker goes back to school. bucky gets a goddamn nap under an actual blanket. steve and tony have an adult conversation for once. the rest of the movie is character development and constructive relationship building

the mid credits scene is the collector watching sex and the city on his big screen tv with the infinity gauntlet mounted above it in a lovely shadowbox frame

the end credits scene shows the grandmaster and loki in bed cuddling. loki is fast asleep. the grandmaster’s blue makeup is smudged all over loki’s face and neck and the part of his chest that’s visible. just off screen you can hear taika waititi yelling in triumph. jeff goldblum looks directly at the camera and winks. cut to black

@cyancrown

YESSS LMFAO XD

imagine being so bad at moderating your own website you decide to just kill half the user base and not fix any of the actual problems

Isn’t this the plot of Infinity War

Omg

Shuri was one of the 50%, guys.

FUCK

k but somebody’s roomba totally vacuumed them up after they died in the snap. it’s inevitable

Oh my god

It’s late and I’m not sure where this is coming from and someone probably already thought of this but imagine a post-Infinity War Tony, broken and back on Earth. Nothing is fixed yet. He doesn’t know what to do yet. He goes back to the Compound because if anywhere is his home, that’s it, and the emptiness of the place is consuming. Vis isn’t phasing through walls, Peter, who had become a frequent visitor, isn’t at a table doing his homework or improving his web fluid. The place is…dead.

He finds himself walking the halls and going through old things. He comes across a cardboard box from the move out of Avengers Tower. He opens it, and what’s inside? Old fan mail. Old fan mail that was sent to the Tower after the Battle of New York. Without really thinking, Tony finds himself going through it, reading every letter, looking at every drawing. He’s just sucked into these letters of kids telling him he saved their apartment building that day, or they saw him fly into the wormhole on tv from the other side of the country, or how they knew they’d be safe because Iron Man was protecting them. Letter after letter telling him he’s a hero, and all he can think about is how wrong they all were to call him that because look at what just happened. He wonders how many of those letter-writers and artists turned to ash.

He gets to one letter, and the kid is saying he’d met Tony before. That he’d helped him take down a drone at the Stark Expo. Tony honestly, and with a pang of guilt, didn’t remember the encounter. This kid, like so many others, said Tony was his hero. Said he lived close to Manhattan and that Iron Man and the other Avengers saved his neighborhood.

Then he reads who it was from. Peter Parker.

He stares at it in shock. It almost seems like something supernatural at work, that he was reading a letter from Peter Parker in that moment of all moments, written when this catastrophe was nothing but a vague premonition in Tony’s head. Written long before they had changed each other’s lives. Suddenly, he remembers the kid from the Expo. The kid who “saved” him grew up to be the kid who saved him.

Tony couldn’t save the kid who saved him. 

Hey op do you take constructive criticism

Reblog with a line from Infinity War

I’ll start. 

“BRING ME THANOS”

“hey Mr. Stark”

“Get lost, Squidward.”

"I'm sorry"

Ok so in Infinity War everyone didn’t just fade to dust. Thanos said it would be like they never existed - so did he will for that? If no one who died in the snap exists anymore, do their loved ones’ memories of them still exist?

It wasn’t like their bodies just vanished, but so did their clothes - Bucky’s metal arm didn’t drop to the floor after he died. Tony wasn’t grasping at the empty shell of the Iron Spider.

So what I’m saying here is will there be a time limit? Will Steve tug at Thor’s shoulder and ask him what to do, only for Thor to respond with a confused, “About what?”? The entire universe is already at risk, but what if the heroes to save them don’t remember that they’re supposed to.

What if Tony forgets Peter?

NO WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS

WHAT THE FUCK

BEST. VIDEO. EVER.

THIS IS AMAZING 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

#her voice is killing me

His expression here kills me, especially in gifs 2, 3, and 4. That’s the face of a man who realised his worst nightmare, the one that’s haunted him for six years, was coming true, and there was nothing he could do to prevent it. He tried, he failed and here he was, resigned to watch from the sidelines, helpless, as the aliens rolled back to Earth. There were no suits of armor around the world to protect it, there were no Avengers left to avenge it - it was just Tony and his choices. Back in the battle of New York, he had only a split second to decide between letting the entire tri-state area get engulfed in a radioactive mushroom cloud or speed up into deep space carrying a nuke. Plus, when he tried Pepper, she didn’t answer. Here, his situation was so different: He cleaned up, he settled down, he had reason to care for his own well-being for the first time since he became Iron Man. But, as circumstances would have it, he was being pulled back into that same daredevil, reckless superhero life that he previously led, even as Pepper pleaded with him to choose differently. But he couldn’t leave the world defenseless, so he went to confront his nightmare and, in the end, was dealt a shittier hand than New York.

Daaammmmnnnnn

not to keep sounding like a Killmonger apologist but like… if T’Challa hadn’t killed him?? this would be such a great time to have a conveniently murderous cousin in the palace basement. “look alive and suit up, asshole. you’ve got anger issues and we’ve got approximately 7000 aliens in the backyard. get to work.” [Okoye yeets Killmonger out a window into the middle of the fight]

ajznxjsks i know i reblogged this before except t'challa didn’t want to kill him??? he really didn’t?? Erik chose to die bc he would rather have death over captivity??? t'challa didn’t kill voluntarily him, man

you’re right and that’s on me, I was in such a hurry to type “Okoye yeets Killmonger” that I let myself forget history

Imagine if Hela was around too, since Thanos wouldve gobe to Asgard for the Tesseract

They only had to wait for a bit more guys

Thanos [arriving on Asgard]: hey where’s the fuckin-

[Hela, all-powerful from her extended time on Asgard, slam dunks Thanos and stabs him with approx. 86000 swords and melts down the infinity gauntlet to put sick gold tips on her horn crown]

Hela: sick

Better version than I reblogged previously

YESSS