gonna grow you a place safer than this

good omens is literally 107k words of idiot plot but like. well-executed

Aksjdhflgjskdhfjghk

*guy who just bought a disorganized mess of a site that has a userbase who is already resentful towards the staff and any current or previous owners due to their constant neglect of glaring issues and extreme lack of transparency voice* I'm curious to see if a freemium model could work :)

Lmao its real

Who the fuck thinks ANYONE is going to pay for tumblr? This fucking company didn’t even have to pay for it Verizon basically gave it to them

Lmao fucking idiots

aziraphale, genuinely interested: so how exactly were you planning on transporting us to alpha centauri

crowley, who 1. meant it more as a symbolic gesture than anything and 2. had an Actual good plan regardless, forgetting everything and panicking: catapult

He's gonna fill up his bentley with plants and drive there obviously

Just remember, these are elected officials and our tax dollars are being used for this.

This is what its like serving people. People want straight answers to questions they fundamentally don’t understand. They don’t even understand the language you use. There is a very definite answer to what ‘wifi’ is, but a lot of oldies have their own understanding which is seperate from fact, but they believe to be fact. So when you try to explain it to them it gets to a point where they not only don’t understand it, but they don’t want to understand it. 

These people here, its not that they don’t understand the tech at hand. Its that they simply don’t want to. And so they never will. 

Jesus they're all idiots smh

i just saw a fb post where a man was arguing with a woman about the best way to make macarons and he kept insisting that she was wrong, and then eventually he was like “I’ve never personally made macarons, but if you think about it what I’m saying makes sense, i’m simply stating the obvious. i’m sure there are plenty of youtube tutorials that would show you the same thing.” and the woman replied by linking him to her instagram business page and she makes fuckin macaron towers for parties for a living and i’ve been laughing about it for a solid 5 minutes.

Men automatically assume they’re more of an expert on something than any woman on account of their dicks. I’ve never met such an ignorant and narcissistic creature as a male

I’ll never forget a time when a fb friend of mine posted that she’s on her way to hospital to give birth. Women commented with “good luck” and other encouraging messages. A man’s comment was advice on how to give birth. 

You have got to be kidding me

So I was talking about Jekyll & Hyde (the book) at a writer’s museum while we were looking at an Robert Louis Stevenson exhibit. I was giving my take on Jekyll, and my brother tried to counter it. I countered back easily, and then he said “well I’ve never read the book”

My dude………..stop

my ex, whose baking experience was pretty much limited to frying premade biscuit dough in boy scouts to make ‘donuts’, would constantly try to correct me or give me advice on baking

i’m a fucking pastry chef

met a dude at a party who was talking about physics and asked if i’d ever listened to any online physics lectures bc he listened to all of this one series and they were so helpful and maybe i could learn some physics too

i have a degree in physics

and am a published coauthor in astrophysics

the best part is that the woman who invented the term ‘mansplaining’ (her name is Rebecca Solnit and i highly recommend her collection of essays) came up with it when she was at a party one night and a man tried to explain a book to her, and wouldn’t let her speak long enough for her to tell him that

she wrote the bloody book he was mansplaining to her

You know I have plenty examples of this but that last one takes the cake so imma just let it be.

Yeppp

did i ever tell you guys about that time i gave my sister 2000 nickels for her birthday

special ordered them from the bank

nice to know that in a world full of change, tumblr still has no idea how numbers work

thats…thats $100, right? 

@ you weebs

2,000/10=200

Two hundred dollar power move

#Math is literally the only thing i have going for me  #It’s my bragging right  #Even Gaud can’t take that away

You divided by 10. 10 is for dimes

Y'all. 2,000 nickels is $400. 2,000÷5. It equals $400.

i’m crying. no, no it doesn’t

the answers keep getting worse better

2000 nickles

2000×5=10,000 cents

100 cents=1 dollar

10,000÷100=100

$100 you idiots

How bout you shut your shit ass mouth the fuck up

lmao. i fucking hate screenrant so much. their content is just second-hand embarrassment now.

They do this because they know it will get a reaction out of us and the antis.

Anyway…

RDJ paved the pathway of MCU via his fantastic portrayal of Tony Stark in the very first Iron Man and no one could have done it better and he deserves SO many Oscars.

RDJ LITERALLY IS IRON MAN FUCK YOU TO HELL SCREENRANT

Accurate post is accurate.

Reminds me of the time a lady told me whip doesn’t melt. Or a guy yelled at me for not understanding him/hearing him because he kept talking on the phone

Lame

For those in retail.

I worked in a Lil Caesars and a woman came in and wanted a sausage pizza with no sausage, but got mad when she was given a cheese pizza.

So when I worked at fitting room in Old Navy, a woman told me that a medium top was too small, and that the large top was too large. So she asked me to find her an “x-medium”. Old Navy carries x-small, small, medium, large, x-large, 1x, 2x and 3x. There is no “x-medium”. But she insisted, so I went and found her an “x-medium” (which was just a medium in a different color but the same top, same make, same EVERYTHING) and she goes very happily, “THIS! THIS FITS ME PERFECTLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! See, you can do anything you can set your mind to!”

I’m a waitress at a big fancy resort, and once a woman asked me for a diet water and when I told her there was no such thing she demanded to see my manager (who then also promptly told her there was no such thing and brought her regular water). Another occasion of stupidity occurred when a woman had been brought a steak cooked too much for her liking. I offered to take it back and bring her out a new one, cooked a little less, and she said “NO this one’s fine I just want you to cook THIS one a little less.” I then had to get the chef and have him explain why you can’t UNCOOK a steak.

When I was working at dunkin donuts there was this woman in the drive-thru who asked for a lightly toasted croissant and then started complaining that the croissant was warm. And wanted her money back, so she gave me the croissant back and I gave her the money and then she tells me “now i want my new croissant” she wanted a new one for free and as she was screaming at me this guy in a biker gang covered in tattoos leans over the counter in the store and yells “ma’am let me just tell you what we’re all thinking. fuck off, you stupid cunt.” I couldn’t stop laughing and she drove away in anger.

Most of the people like in the stories above know that they’re being totally irrational, but also know that if they complain enough they’ll most likely get something free or discounted. So really most of the the nonsensical fucks are actually just cheap fucks with no shame or respect for people.

That last bit of commentary though.

You’d think that but I had once had to explain to a woman that I couldn’t “cut her hair longer.” Some people are actually just stupid.

i work at an outdoor amphitheater that has at least 5 parking areas, and in order to get to the one that gets you closest to the amphitheater, you need to drive through this small tunnel in a rock. as in an actual, natural, Made By The Earth, Been There For Billions Of Years rock. one day, i was working in the main gift shop and a woman comes in, asking for directions to the amphitheater. i ask walking or driving and she says driving so i give my usual driving directions speech. then she says she drove her mobile home into the park, that’s what she would be driving up in and asked if that would be an issue. this made me pause because how the FUCK did you get a full ass mobile home into this park with its narrow roads and multitude of trees but i said yes and told her about the rock (the tunnel isn’t big enough for trucks and mobile homes). she isn’t happy about it but she leaves. long story short, she sent everyone living in this mobile home / apparent clown car based on how many people asked me the same question, until finally all of them were yelling at me and one voice, the most strongest among this sea of dumbasses, spoke, and it sayth:

“why can’t you just open the rock?”

“….. like a drawbridge?”

“exactly! why can’t we just do that?”

he legitimately did not understand that this rock wasn’t created to accommodate his exact needs so yeah sometimes people are just fucking stupid

Oh my god people are so stupid

Tea.

These exchanges between a bigot named Brendan Sullivan, and a heroic troll named Robert Graves, will be the best thing you read all day, I promise.

ROBERT GRAVES IS BACK ON MY DASH

robert graves: 5/7 pwnage

@lime-time @taxidermycactus

Ooh it’s back

I support Robert Graves.

Robert Graves has blessed my dash!

ROBERT GRAVES IS OUR HERO! OUR DARK KNIGHT!!! XD

So one of my tweets kinda blew up. :v

THIS!!!!!

Duh… wtf yu think it’s so many Spanish street names lol

^ and whole cities. Los Angeles? San Francisco? lol

^ and states. Colorado? Nevada?

Imagine believing whites are the rightful owners of a bunch of places they cant even pronounce properly

Ugh whites

today i had a man tell me, in all earnest, that i obviously wasn’t very good at my classical studies degree because zeus only had one son, hercules - his source was the disney movie hercules

#it would be easier to list the sons zeus does not have