Coolest thing about lord of the rings? The king of horses shows up. It appears he is no different from all other horses
King of the eagles shows up later. He can talk. Horse king couldn't talk.
He didn't want to talk to you.
not only does fluttershy smoke weed, the first time she did was at a party one of the other ponies brought her to. she was passed the bong and weakly said “oh… sorry. i don’t smoke, i’ll cough and it’ll be really embarrassing.”
other ponies are like “nah you can do it! we won’t laugh!” and then she was like “ohh… okay…” and then just took the fattest bong rip, held it for 3 seconds, exhaled. everyone is in shock. she then does a weak little not-even cough and goes “ohh… i knew it… and now you’re all staring at me :(” and runs away
i was so right with this one tbh
The frame where they’re regular horses conveys some sort of otherwise incomprehensible emotion
happy birthday to all the tbs in the southern hemisphere!
Special Event: All Horses’ Birthday (Southern Hemisphere only)
Happy birthday, every horse in the northern hemisphere!
finding out that almost all other animals don’t have periods like we do and instead simply reabsorb the egg back into their uterine lining to reuse the nutrients is like finding out the rest of the class has been taking WILDLY easier tests than you for the whole semester
like, hey, cat why don’t you have to use your Cat Dollars to invest in tampons? And cat is just like: fuck that noise, my body is OPTIMAL for not being made of inconvenient nonsense, sucks to be you
wack.
humans: hey, bleeding every month is actually really cumbersome and I lose both valuable nutrients AND fluids I need for survival? What the fuck is up?
evolution: yes, alright, but have you considered this about it? *cartoon blow horn noise*
Human bodies suck for many reasons including but not limited to:
•Teeth are critical to living, yet not designed to last more than a few years without constant intervention and upkeep, and don’t grow back if this is not accomplished. Also, losing your teeth means the bones in your ear will shift, and your hearing will worsen.
•Breathing, eating, communication all from the same pathway, major choking hazard. Give me a dolphin style breathing tube.
•Most pleasurable nerve endings on the body locating on the filthiest parts of you, guarenteed spread of bacteria.
•knees and shoulders have almost zero capability to heal correctly, once they break, they’re basically broken forever without massive outside influence.
truer words
Lol true
I never, ever want context for this.
YESSS
i think it is good to warn people in advance about the circumstances that will cause you to bite them and i think that having given that warning it is good to follow through when the time comes
the rattlesnake is an admirable creature whose virtues we should emulate
One time at dance some rando grabbed me by the waist and told me to dance with him and I told him “if you don’t let go I’m going to bite you” and he didn’t let go so I bit him and that really should be the end of the story but he thought that was funny so I turned around and gave him a donkey kick to the shins and took about a 4 inch strip of skin with me so what I learned that day is when one is without debilitating venom, one must be as a horse do
“be as a horse do” is my new favorite colloquialism.
Lmao XD
100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.
The stables have turned
oH MY GOD
its weird to think horses were ever ‘prey animals’ because what fucking predator looks at a 8 foot tall ENORMOUS beast with pitch black devils eyes, terrifying teeth and extremely powerful legs and think ‘yeah lets go attack that one’
well moose are still prey animals so
thats fucked up, a moose is like a horse with extra weapons
Would you rather they be predators
SHIT SHIT SHIT IM SO SORRY
You will be
is saying “horses” when you pass a field of horses a midwesterner thing or a whole ass national thing bc ive never been in a car when we passed a field and somebody has to just say Horses in a monotone voice and we all look and nodd and keep drivin
every human on earth in unison: horses
H O R S E S
me: looks at a horse the wrong way
horse: Oh Fuck! *breaks all its legs*
horse keeping blogs are reblogging this in agreement and thats probably funnier than the actual post
